Haunted
by ct2191
Summary: Sam is attacked by an assailant unknown to all but her, causing her to face her biggest battle yet: a battle against her own mind.
1. Chapter 1: End before the start

The beach was desolate; it was the dead of night after all. She watched the mass of tiny waves crash onto the beach and glide up to her position, soaking her ankles for the umpteenth time. The water was icy, as you would expect in the middle of winter. She didn't care.

Her mind was in a different place, before the hell of the last 2 months unfolded, before _he _had entered her life and changed everything forever. She remembered his touch and her skin crawled, the involuntary shudder that ran down her back from this was the only way for anyone to tell she wasn't in fact an odd shaped statue on the beach.

She had been standing there for hours, looking over at the icy water with her hands thrust deep into her jacket pockets. She wind whipped up every now and then, causing her to grimace and stare reproachfully out over the sea of darkness before her.

They had called this "_the coldest winter since the 1800s_" but that wasn't true. She remembered that story about the freak weather of 1963, long before she was born, but a story her parents often told her as a child all about how they had to use a shovel to get out of their front doors because the snow piled up so thick, and when it melted there were so many burst pipes you couldn't go down a street without the sound of running water hitting your ears.

She closed her eyes as she remembered those days as a child, curled up in front of her granddad's fire listening to his stories of the Second World War. She would be enthralled at the battles he told her of, even after her Nan had told her he's making it all up and outraged by the tricks the Germans had played on the battlefield.

She smiled slightly at those memories, before the bitterly cold water that had engulfed her feet yet again bought her back to the present. She opened her eyes slowly, silently pleading with the skies to let her be anywhere else but that cold, lonely beach trying not to remember _him_. But alas, only she could change her location, and she didn't want to move anymore.

She stared out over the unrelenting waves and sighed. She could hear their voices now, desperately calling her over the whistling of the high winds, begging her to call back. For a moment she considered it, running into the arms of the people who had proven they cared so much about her, and settling in a nice warm hospital bed and allowing a sedative to creep through her body, sending her into a deep, comfortable sleep…

She blinked and snapped herself back to the present, away from the temptation. In her mind the images of him flashed before her, and his rough touch once again became her reality as her mind once more succumbed.

She sank to her knees as yet another wave of icy water washed over her feet, extracting her hands from her jacket and hugging herself tightly. The tide was coming in fast, in a few minutes the area she was kneeling would be engulfed in 6ft of water. She didn't care, her mind was trapped in the past, trapped in the events of two months ago.

The voices that she heard were no longer trailing on the wind; they were loud as if they were only a few metres away. As she once again came to her senses, she turned to see the people she felt safest with all trudging over in her direction, but they still didn't see her, the wind was billowing into their faces.

Again the temptation to run to safety surfaced, but it was soon replaced with a different feeling, something that was alien to her. The feeling was banishing every last sense of worry or fear from her body and giving her a new aim.

She stood up slowly, much to the surprise of the voices behind her who immediately began hollering her name over the now shrieking wind. She didn't hear them. Her mind was too focused on a new goal; the last act of her life would be to die.

She moved her feet slowly and felt waves of cramp emanate up her legs from where she had been standing for so long. She didn't care. Slowly she placed one foot in front of the other, and began to walk towards her destination.

The voices behind her were reaching a higher pitch as they grew closer, and as some caught on to her plans the shouting turned to screaming. Still she walked. The journey was becoming agonisingly slow, the stiffness from her legs and the icy cold water which was now up to her waist almost halting her journey long enough for her to be saved. Almost.

She shuffled through the water now, allowing it to creep up past her shoulders, and still she kept going. She could now hear the splashes of everyone she cared about entering the water in a desperate attempt to save her but she could already feel her senses failing, as her body succumbed to the sheer cold.

Although every move was agonisingly slow, she pushed on until her entire form was submerged beneath the toiling waves, as if she was never there.


	2. Chapter 2: Attacked

It was over in minutes, but for the sense the world made to her at this moment the minutes might well have been hours. Her training failed her, her strength was gone. All she could do was lay there while he violated her, overcome by the fear that had driven away her anger.

She had tried to fight, tried to push him off of her but it was hopeless. She was too weak, and soon the shock of what was happening overcome any emotional response she could have had. She couldn't yell: there was a piece of cloth in her mouth with hairs so strong they scratched her tongue. Movement was impossible; he crushed her hands into the pavement with one of his own, and pinned her legs down by digging his knees into her thighs. All she could do was lay there and stare at the broken streetlamp above her.

She knew she should be feeling some amount of pain, but all she felt was a chill that bored its way deep inside her mind as well as her body. He was still there, standing over her with a blade in his hand and a smile on his lips. She eyed the blade warily, before returning her gaze to his face.

He knelt down slowly and touched her cheek with the very tips of his fingers before sliding them onto her forehead. Her eyes darted furiously around in their sockets, taking in every detail of his face as recognition dawned. His smile grew at her obvious fear as he gently dragged his fingers up her forehead.

A strong shiver wracked her body and a look of pleading formed on her face as his features re arranged and contorted into sheer anger. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and beat her head once upon the ground. Her eyes rolled back slightly before fixing their gaze on his face once more with yet another pleading look.

This enraged him further as he knelt down so his lips were level with her ear. He slowly pressed the blade to her throat, and laughed softly as her breath came in terrified gasps. He nibbled her earlobe slightly before allowing words to form on his tongue.

"You tell anyone about tonight, and I _will _kill you. Understand?"

A nod. A feeble nod, but a nod nonetheless. He appeared satisfied with this as he stood up, making sure to tread on her hands as he left, his shoes clicking as he walked across the pavement and into his black car.

She laid there, now dazed by the pain at the base of her skull and by the shock that was threatening to overcome her. She released the breath she had no idea she had been holding in a long blow when she heard his car pull away from the pavement and go screeching up the road.

Her senses were beginning to return to her, she felt pain in her shoulders where he had shoved her into a wall before dragging her to the ground, she felt the place on her face where his hand had muffled her screams, she could feel the blood running down the side of her neck where the blade had been only moments ago.

She could also feel the cold winter's night setting into her naked body, and became suddenly all too aware of how exposed she was, lying on the pavement flat on her back with no clothes and bruises blossoming all over her.

She wiggled the fingers on her left hand experimentally and nearly cried out as the pain from her broken fingers awoke. Next she tried to move her legs, but the pain in her thighs slowed this dramatically.

After managing to move her legs so her knees were sticking in the air she slowly began to sit up, cradling her injured hand. Next she pulled the cloth from her mouth and made a grab for her jacket with her good hand, but it was too far out of reach with her arms.

Without warning a sound became apparent to her, it was some distance away but getting closer and closer as it came down the road she was lying on. A sound that was all too familiar to her, the sound of someone's high heels clopping down the road in the dead of night, ricocheting off of nearby houses.

She felt panic well up inside her; she didn't want anyone to see her like this. She turned onto her front agonisingly slowly and while ignoring the pain creeping up her legs, arms and ribs and half crawled, half dragged her form into a nearby alleyway. Too late.

The clopping had increased in speed; it was a running pace now, with an all too familiar voice yelling out in panic at the sight of the women on the ground.

She had nowhere to hide, the alleyway was empty. The only choice left to her was to make herself as small as possible, so that's what she did. Ignoring the pain travelling up her arm from her hurt fingers, she wrapped both hands around her knees and bought them as close to her chest as possible, waiting to be discovered.

The clopping stopped a small distance away, she watched as the person stooped down to pick up her jacket and approached her again. As she did so, she rested her head on her hands, trying to pull herself into a ball. The person clearly hadn't seen her face, and was talking softly to her.

"Hello? It's ok I'm a Doctor. My name is Zoe can you tell me your name?"

Zoe took a careful step closer, making the women on the ground whimper in fright but not out of fear of what had happened, the fear of being seen by someone she knew.

She let out another whimper, and tried to tell Zoe to stop but her voice came out as a whisper that was barely audible.

Clop. Another step. Zoe was barely a metre away now, holding the jacket in front of her as if she were about to catch a wild animal.

"I'm just going to put this jacket over your shoulders, alright? Then I'm going to call an ambulance."

The women shuffled away slightly and let out a small squeal, making it clear her advances were unwelcome.

"Hey, it's ok I won't hurt you, I promise. Just let me put this over your shoulder… Oh my god!"

The streetlamp she thought was broken had flickered to life, illuminating them both. Zoe may not have seen her face but she didn't need to. Her hair colour and build were enough. Zoe took another step forward and wrapped the jacket around the women, causing her to struggle under her grip, but Zoe held her there until she stopped and sat down beside her, holding her close.

Several moments passed before she raised her head and stared at Zoe's warm gaze, they stayed like this for a moment, one looking deep into the other's eyes before she turned her gaze to the streetlamp high above.

Zoe watched in confusion as she stared at it with a terrified expression, somehow unnerved by its glow. After a few seconds she let out another terrified whimper and buried her head again, as though the light was burning her face.

Zoe held her for a moment, before reaching into her pocket and pulling out her phone.

"I'm going to call an amb-"

"No"

Her head jerked up and her voice came as a harsh rattle, as though it hadn't been used in years. Zoe sighed and gave her a reassuring glance.

"I will keep this low key, I know you don't want everyone knowing. I'll treat you myself, ok?"

She considered this for a moment, staring at Zoe once again. After a pause she gave a small nod and rested her head back down.

Zoe put a hand gently on her back and was relieved to find it wasn't shrugged off before placing the call in.

"Hello? Yes, this is Dr Hannah, patch me through to ambulance control. Can you patch me through to holby city ambulance department please? Hello, Dixie it's Zoe, ambulance to an alleyway on Sandown road, possible sexual assault. Dixie please I need you to handle this personally… Yes I understand you're busy… No I know that... Well can Jeff handle it? Well then we need you. Dixie please this needs to stay on the DL by request of the patient.. No I know we don't take orders from patients normally but this is different… Dixie stop! It's Sam!"

…

_**Thanks for reading chapter 2 of Haunted. **_

_**I'll most likely update every few days until the story is done. **_

_**Please review and tell me what you think! **_


	3. Chapter 3: Blackout

_**I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed so far and I hope you'll continue to do so as the story progresses. **_

…

The wait for the ambulance wasn't a long one, but time still had no meaning to Sam as she sat curled in a ball next to Zoe, who was rubbing her back in small circles. Her breath was coming in short gasps as tears leaked out of her eyes. Zoe made her feel slightly safer, but she wasn't willing to trust her or anyone else at least until she was out of the alleyway.

Zoe had tried to call the police but the death stare she had received from Sam made her think twice, so instead she sat next to her, trying to find the best way to comfort her while they waited.

After the tears had stopped she glared at the streetlamp above them with a reproachful stare, much to the bemusement of Zoe. She had tried asking, but Sam merely shook her head and rested it back down again.

She was really cold now and her broken fingers were throbbing, but nothing could penetrate the fog that had descended over her mind. It was obliterating every other thought and feeling she could have had, all she could feel was where he touched, and all she could think of was the pain he had caused her.

The sirens on the ambulance made Sam jump and jerk her head up, staring around wildly at the red and blue flashing lights before Zoe reassured her. She was only just aware of Zoe clopping over to the ambulance and telling Dixie and the other paramedic her condition, as well as warning them how jumpy she was. She was once again too busy staring at the streetlamp above her.

There was a dull throb at the base of her skull now, every throb dragging her back to when he had bashed her head upon the ground but she refused show any pain, refused to give him another victory over her.

Sam rested her head back onto her knees as they approached, listening to the sounds their shoes made against the pavement in an effort to judge how close they were. Zoe knelt down beside her with a thick red blanket and draped it gently over her jacket and wound it around her legs, making her shudder slightly but again, she did nothing to stop her.

Dixie moved next, the dirt underneath her shoes making a crunching sound as she knelt down until she was level with Sam, who slowly bought her head up and stared at her, silently warning her not to touch. Dixie appeared to miss this warning, causing Sam to jerk away quickly when she tried to touch her shoulder. This movement surprised Dixie, who jerked back so as not to scare her anymore.

"Alright sweetheart…"

Sam pushed her body against the wall, trying with all her might to sink through it and get away from the three people staring at her like she was a lost puppy. After Zoe gave her a reassuring smile she slowly sank back down the wall and onto the icy cold floor, the exertion of pinning herself up exhausting her.

Once again the glow of the streetlamp caught her attention, and she stared at it for a moment, ignoring the exchanged glances between the Zoe and Dixie as she did this.

This time Zoe attempted to help, squatting down next to Dixie and waiting for her to turn her attention back onto them.

"Sam... I know you don't want us to touch you but we need to take a look at these injuries and get you to hos-"

"No"

Once again Sam's raspy voice rung out around the alleyway, causing Dixie to open her mouth in shock and Zoe to close her eyes and back away in defeat. Sam watched as Zoe motioned Dixie and the other medic to one side, away from where she was sitting. They began muttering with frantic glances in her direction which were greeted with a cold stare.

As Sam watched them the streetlamp above flickered and died, plunging them all into darkness spare an eerie revolving red and blue light from the awaiting ambulance. Sam felt a chill go down her spine and let out a soft whimper, the echo of which was heard by Zoe and Dixie, who rushed to her side.

They were smarter this time, kneeling down a couple of paces away and plastering a friendly smile on their faces. Sam was about as reassured by this was she was by the biting cold. After several moments Dixie began to speak.

"Sam... How about we get you into the ambulance at least, I mean it's nice and warm in there and you'll have somewhere to lie down while we decide what to do next."

Sam studied their faces in turn, all with the same fake smile and raised eyebrows to cover up the fear they felt at witnessing a colleague in such a predicament. As she stared at them a great gust of wind on an otherwise still night whipped up the alleyway, causing Sam to pull the blanket tighter around her thin frame and shudder.

After another couple more moments staring at the people around her and then once again at the streetlamp she nodded. Dixie gave her the first real warm smile she had seen that night and spoke again.

"Good girl, I'll get a wheelchair then we'll get you settled on the bed. Ok?"

Another nod. Sam watched for moment as Dixie and the other medic ran off to unload the wheelchair before returning her gaze to Zoe, who had placed a hand gingerly on her shoulder and appeared relieved that it wasn't shrugged off.

As Sam watched them unload the wheelchair the realisation of what she had just done crept up on her, turning her stomach to a writhing pit of fear. She had given in. Twice. Both times in this alleyway. Once tohim, and now again to Zoe and Dixie.

She swallowed and watched Dixie wheel the chair over to her, once again backing up the wall in fright. Dixie made a gentle shushing sound and knelt down in front of her so she was at eye level.

"Ok we're going to gently help you up by your arms and lower you onto the chair, alright?"

Sam yelped and shuffled down the alleyway in fright when Zoe touched the underside of her arm and tried to pull her up.

"Hey it's ok we're just going to help you into the wheelchair, nothing to be afraid of I promise" Dixie murmured comfortingly.

Sam wasn't convinced, backing even further down the alleyway and clutching the place on her arm where Zoe had touched her with her good hand. Her breath was heavier now and the pain in her head had intensified at Zoe's touch.

Zoe put her hands up as a sign of peace and slowly backed out of the alleyway, waiting by the ambulance with baited breath. Dixie tried to move forwards slightly, but Sam's fearful gaze kept her rooted to the spot.

Sam wrapped the blanket tightly around her cowering form and bought it over her head so they couldn't see her expression. Her face had contorted with pain as her throbbing head intensified, blighting any other instinct or expression of emotion. She placed a hand gingerly on the back of her head and felt the stickiness of blood entangled in her hair.

She jerked her head up and stared at the place on the wall she had rested her head against, letting out a cry of pain as she did so. Dixie followed her gaze and instantly turned pale at the sight of crimson blood running down the bricks.

Sam lowered her head as Dixie motioned Zoe back to the alleyway and pointed to the wall, so as not to see their expressions of worry turn to terror. Zoe spoke in a hushed frantic tone when she saw the blood to Dixie who nodded and shuffled towards Sam, speaking softly.

"Sam, I'm just going to move a little closer now, so I can see what kinds of cuts you have alright?"

No response, Dixie shuffled slightly closer.

"It's ok I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."

A slight whimper. Dixie was a couple of metres away now; staring intently at Sam's lowered head.

"Sam can you lift your head for me?"

Sam shuffled slightly further back so her back was planted up against the wall and shook her head.

"Sam it's ok, I just want to see your face."

Sam slowly lifted her ashen coloured face and stared at her with a pained expression. Dixie shuffled closer and placed a hand on her shoulder. She would have thrown her off but the pain in her head was dulling her senses, she found herself no longer able to resist.

She dully remembered Zoe rushing forwards and grabbing the underside of her arm again and them both gently easing her to her feet but she was now trapped in her head by pain. She felt her legs moving as she walked, and felt their grip loosen on her arms as they lowered her into the wheelchair but she could no longer react.

The world was taking on a reddish hue and her head was beginning to spin as they whizzed her towards the ambulance and strapped her into the trolley on board. She was just about aware of the engine starting before everything went black and once again she was being dragged into the alleyway by rough hands.


	4. Chapter 4: Denial

_She walked slowly down the road, lost in her memories of the events that had unfolded that day. Had Tom and Zoe been right to corner her in the staff room and ask her how she was coping now that Dylan had left? Or were they just looking for idle gossip. It wasn't like she hadn't been the centre of the gossip and rumours section thanks to Big Mac and Noel. _

"_Did she really break that guy's neck?"_

"_How the hell could she marry __**him**__?__**"**_

"_I heard that she got kicked out of the army for killing someone in cold blood… but they couldn't prove it." _

_Sam stopped for a moment to check her black sports watch. It was near midnight and after her, Zoe and Tom had pulled nearly a shift and a half to see through a case involving an RTA and a five year old girl, she was exhausted. _

_She continued on down the street, lost in thought once again. Sure she had been married to him, but that was all over now. Shaking her head slightly, she picked up her pace and hurtled down the road. _

_She was so lost in thought she didn't notice the screech of tyres as a car pulled up a full metres away from her, or the thump of his car door as he shut it, or the click his shoes made as he walked slowly towards her. _

_Suddenly she stopped in her tracks. She knew something was wrong, everything was far too still. Even the air appeared to be charged with tension, and an odd sense of foreboding had crept up on her as she stood still near the alleyway. _

_Then everything went black. _

_His placed a hand over her eyes and mouth and pulled her to the ground by her waist, she struggled and kicked but he was too strong. _

"Sam its Tess can you hear me?"

_He wrenched her jacket off of her shoulders and slammed her into a wall before turning around and swiftly punching her in her stomach, she slid down the wall and onto the ground. _

"Sam! Stop struggling you're safe!"

_Now he was on top of her, ripping off the last of her clothes and exposing her to the chilly night air. _

"Sam wake up!"

"It's no use!"

_Her strength was failing; she couldn't hold his menacing form off for long. _

"That's it Sam, just relax…"

_It was over for her, she couldn't fight any longer. She had to lay there or face the hand around her throat choking her. _

"Sam? If you can hear me try and open your eyes."

Sam opened her eyes slowly, squinting at the bright light Zoe was shining into her eyes. She could hear the blip of a heart rate monitor beside her bed and the hushed murmurs of Tess and Dixie talking some distance away.

Sam pushed herself up on the bed and stared around the private room she found herself in with a bemused expression. Daylight was seeping through the blinds over the window next to the bedside table and several anxious faces were peering down at her.

For a second she stayed in her post sleep euphoria, completely unaware of the pain she had been through but slowly reality began to seep through the frail skin which held this dream alive. The first thing she felt was her stomach turn to a convulsing pit of fear as the memories started to ebb through to her consciousness.

She bought her hand up to her forehead and gingerly touched the bandage that was wound around her head, holding a pad over the cut at the base of her skull. The moment her fingers made contact with the cloth-like material her mind was thrust back to the events of the night, causing her to stare around her in shock and terror as she looked at the faces in the room.

"How are you feeling?"

Zoe's voice resonated the feeling of an ice pick hitting a cliff in Sam's mind, the sound of her name making her remember the final piece of the jumbled puzzle known as last night in her head. Immediately the emotions that had been boiling up inside her at this fizzled and died, like the last bolt of electricity reaching a light bulb before the switch is truck. Sam swallowed slightly, making her aware of the plaster on her throat as she spoke.

"Head hurts." She muttered as she looked over to Tess, the realisation of her presence setting in. "Y-you know?"

Tess bowed her head at this and nodded, a look of sympathy stretched over her features when she raised it again. Sam blew out a long breath and rested her head back down on the pillow, refusing to look at anyone for several moments.

"Sam I'm sorry but I had to tell Tess, I needed help treating you." Zoe in an attempt to be consoling.

Sam suddenly became aware of the numerous plasters which covered her arms and the bandage she could feel pressed gently around her ribs. She swallowed and blinked rapidly, attempting to regain some of her bravado.

"Where am I?" She snapped at Tess who gave her a confused look.

"In hospital" She replied, bemused.

"No. What department?" Sam quipped after rolling her eyes.

"You're on a private ward nowhere near the ED, they don't know you're here." Zoe replied softly.

Sam nodded and rested her head back down on the pillow for a moment, before touching the plaster on her neck and asking "What are my injuries?"

"Couple of cracked ribs, a graze and a bruise to the base of the skull, bruised collarbone, cut to the throat, two broken fingers and numerous small scratches and bruises all over you and Sam... We still need to give you a pelvic exam, draw some blood and call the p-"

"I already told you no in the alleyway. No exam, no bloods and _no_ Police." Sam snarled as she glared at them each in turn.

"Sweetheart I know you're scared right now but you could have contracted a disease from the man who-"

"The man who what? What man? Who said anything about a man?" Sam snapped with the best bemused look she could muster.

"Darling we know you were r-" Began Dixie slowly, a look of sympathy on her face.

"What are you talking about?" Sam demanded with a look of outrage. "_Nothing _of that sort happened; I was beaten up by some creep that's all!"

"You had no clothes on."

"Yes _and_? The idiot wanted my phone but they couldn't find it, that's all! God what is wrong with you people?"

Zoe, Tess and Dixie all exchanged glances at this, each matching the other: worry. This only enraged Sam further.

"_What?" _She almost yelled.

"Sam If you were only mugged-"

"-Which I _was-" _Sam interjected irritably.

"-then why not call the police?" Finished Zoe with a look of concern.

"Because, I... I may not have my phone or my clothes but I still have my pride! Now GET OUT!" She shrieked, throwing a pillow at Tess.

"Sam please! Calm down-"

"NO! Y-You come in here and accuse me of being r— just GET OUT!"

"Sam stop! No one is accusing you of anything, you're the victim" Tess pleaded desperately.

"I." Sam said, her voice a death rattle. "Am not a victim"

"Sam please just listen, if you have been raped you need help-" Began Dixie hurriedly.

"GET OUT! NOTHING HAPPENED NOW GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" She screamed.

Tess raised her hands and backed out of the room as though Sam had a gun; Dixie merely stepped out onto the corridor. Zoe gave her one last look of pleading, before heading out also and quietly shutting the door behind her.

Sam took a moment to catch her breath before hopping off her bed and walking as quickly as her quivering legs would allow her to towards the door and locking it. And there she stayed.

She sank down below the doorframe now, the only place they couldn't see her and placed her head in her hands. She was shaking now, partly out of anger, partly out of fear. She felt the sting of salty tears roll down her cheeks and nodded expectantly, allowing them to spill on her laps as great waves of uncontrollable sobs took hold of her.


	5. Chapter 5: Realizations

_**Massive thanks once again for all the positive reviews and the follows, it's really motivating me to keep writing!**_

…

Sam could no longer hear the pleas from Tess, Zoe and Dixie. They were still begging her to unlock the door but any form of movement was beyond her. She had been cradling her head in her hands for some time now, allowing the gravity of the pain she felt to take hold of her as she sat under the doorframe.

She listened to the ticking of the plain clock hung on the wall at a slightly wonky angle for a moment, reminding herself that time was still moving, and so could she. Her head felt like a brick strapped to her neck as she raised it to gaze around the room with her tear stained face.

It looked like any other private room in the hospital, crisp white sheets, white walls, plain white window frames which housed a window which could only be opened a few inches to stop anyone jumping out.

The normality of the room surprised her in some way, not that she was expecting anything different. Her thoughts and feelings now confused her more than ever. Part of her wanted to trust the people outside the door, to let them in and tell them what happened but the part of her brain that was controlling her actions was urging her not to let anyone in to this room or her mind.

Sam stood up slowly, ignoring the complaints from the bruises on her legs and stumbled over the window. It was mid morning now, and as she watched ambulances pulled in and people walked out, going on with their daily lives as if nothing had happened.

But nothing _had _happened. Not to them anyways. She spent the night expecting the stars to fall out of the sky or the sun to engulf the earth whole but realistically life was still the same, it was just her that felt different. Suddenly a cold chill settled on her stomach as realization crept up on her. She was the only one affected by this. _He _could just walk around, enjoying the company of his recovering daughter as if nothing had happened while she stayed in this room and acted like a nervous wreck.

She felt the fist on her good hand clench as she thought of this, feeling surprised and a little scared by the sheer anger that had crept up on her. The image of him thanking her profusely for her assistance in saving his daughter's life was playing around her head, his face filled with gratitude and a steely glint in his eyes…

Sam shook herself back to the present, talking several deep breaths to calm her heart rate. She was now aware of the voices begging her to unlock the door once more, and began to wonder if that was what she should do.

She wanted to, but when she looked around there was only one face out of the three she trusted. Already aware that by opening the door she was pretty much securing her fate as a sedative, she stared out of the window at the person who she wanted to talk to.

Zoe appeared to catch her meaning, quickly ushering the other two away and appearing at the window through the door alone.

"Will you open the door if I promise I will be the only one to come in?" Zoe asked tentatively.

Sam stared at her for a moment before nodding, a voice in her head trying to dissuade her from the idea as she did so. She approached the door slowly, and spared another moment to stare at Zoe before turning the handle and releasing the catch and held her back from the outside world.

Zoe stepped in slowly, her hands raised in a sign of peace. Sam stared behind her at the door and nodded towards it.

"Lock it." She muttered with a croak.

Zoe opened her mouth to protest but after catching Sam's now venerable expression she closed it again and turned to lock the door. Sam backed away slightly as she did this, so when Zoe turned around she was by the window.

"Sam…" Zoe murmured, clearly at a loss of what to say to comfort the noticeably frail woman.

"Don't ok j-just d-don't…" Sam stammered, hugging herself tightly.

Zoe stared at her shivering form for several moments before moving to stand in front of her.

"Sam I know you don't want to admit it, but you and I both know what happened last night and you need to get help at the very least, even if you're not willing to tell the police at least make sure that he hasn't given you some disease or internal injuries." Zoe said softly while rubbing her arms gently.

Sam looked down at the floor, completely defeated. The last ounce of strength and defiance she had against the people who were trying to help her was gone. She untwined her arms from around herself and moved to the bed before gently sitting down.

Zoe sat down next to her, now gripping the shoulder with no bruises firmly. She was peering into Sam's eyes with a worried expression on her face. Sam looked lost, terrified by the ordeal she had been through and unsure of how to overcome the pain she felt. Zoe could still see the defiance of the army written within her features, but it was somehow dulled by the rollercoaster ride of emotions she was feeling.

"Sam." Zoe whispered gently, "Will you let us help you?"

Sam looked at Zoe as if she had only just noticed she was there, her eyes were wide and childlike and her mouth slightly parted with fear. She looked down at Zoe's hands, which she had entwined with Sam's own, carefully avoiding her broken fingers.

Sam stared at them for a moment, and then at the door where Dixie and Tess had re emerged, looking relieved to see her more relaxed position.

She looked Zoe directly in the eyes before answering with a single stiff nod.


	6. Chapter 6: Panic

Sam watched as the syringe Zoe had placed gently in her arm filled up with blood with an unreadable expression. Having needles jammed into her arms for blood tests was nothing she wasn't used to, nor anyone else who had been in the army. But she knew that this time was different in many ways.

She no longer felt like herself. She felt frail and weak. Explosions and machine guns hadn't fazed her yet one man had broken down every barrier she had against fear in less than a minute and left her a quivering wreck on the pavement.

Zoe gently removed the needle from her arm and placed a tissue over the small hole in her vein. Sam watched as Tess took the syringe full of crimson blood and after giving her an encouraging smile walked out of the room.

"Ok Sam, can you slide onto the bed now?" Zoe asked gently.

Sam stared at her momentarily as she applied a plaster to the hole before nodding and swinging her legs up onto the bed. She could feel tears ready to gush down her face as she did this, and a sudden chill crept up her spine as Zoe gently sat down on the bed beside her.

"Sam are you sure you want me to be the one to do this?" Zoe asked gently.

Sam stared at her with teary eyes and gave a brief nod. "I-I trust you."

Zoe couldn't hide her surprise, but seemed pleased all the same. She slid off of the bed and grabbed a chair which she placed at the end of the bed and sat down. The next few instructions Sam followed without input from her brain, for she had retreated into it for the next stage of the examination. Zoe noticed the tears beginning to run down her face and called for Tess to keep her calm.

Sam dimply aware of someone stroking her hair as she laid there with her eyes squeezed shut, trying to ignore what was happening. Her mind lingered for a moment on what she had just said to Zoe, she said she _trusted_ her. She wasn't entirely sure of the extent she trusted Zoe to but she at least trusted her to complete this exam.

Suddenly her mind drifted back to the events of last night, and she found herself shaking once more with terror. The voices of Tess and Zoe did nothing to calm her as her chest started to become tighter and her breaths came as startled gasps.

Her eyes flew open and she sat bolt upright, her good hand scrabbling at her throat. Tess quickly fixed and oxygen mask around her face and started rubbing her back. Zoe ran to the door and called over the first nurse she saw.

"Page Mr Jordan, _now_!"

Sam found her breaths were coming harder by the moment, even harder now that Zoe had mentioned someone from ED coming up, and not just any old doctor: her boss. Zoe clopped back to her side and placed each one of her hands on her shoulders.

"Relax Sam... Just try and relax..."

Sam fought her grip on her shoulders, eventually pushing her hands away and staring at her with a mixture of fear and disgust. She ripped the mask from her face despite Tess's pleas and spoke through hard breaths.

"You….Promised…No….ED…" She wheezed, clutching her throat once more as Tess replaced the mask.

"Sam I'm sorry but you need to be seen by Mr Jordan, and he's going to need to know!" Zoe yelled over Tess's continuing pleas.

Sam shook her head violently, ignoring her still tightening chest and how ragged her breaths were becoming. She stared at Zoe once more, warning her away but this time Zoe ignored it. She leapt forward and forced the oxygen mask over her head while instructing her to breathe deeply.

After giving Zoe one more furious look she did as instructed. Her breaths came slightly easier each time she took one, until she could breathe properly on her own once more without the aid of the mask. She ripped it from her face and gave Zoe the most venomous look she could muster.

"Sam, I'm sorry but he has to be told. You just had a serious panic attack and you're not going to need time to recover from all of this."

Sam closed her eyes and turned her head away, and suddenly looked far more vulnerable. She was hugging herself again now, and taking deep calming breaths. She looked up at Tess and gave a grateful but hollow smile as she began rubbing her back gently. Tess smiled back, and placed a hand on her shoulder as she sat down on the edge of her bed along with Zoe.

A knock on the door caught their attention now, making Sam jump and Zoe snapped her head round, to be greeted by the sight of an extremely worried looking Nick Jordan.

Zoe stood up and grabbed his arm before he could say another word, leading him out in the hallway and shutting the door. She began explaining with several hand gestures but the meaning was clear enough to Sam, who was lip reading every word.

"What's happened to her?" Sam saw Jordan mouthing.

"She was raped last night." Was Zoe's reply.

Sam stared at them both for a few seconds before lying back and allowing Tess to pull the covers over her. She closed her eyes slowly to give the impression she was drifting off into a peaceful sleep, but that was far from the truth. She waited until she heard Tess walk over and open the door before opening her eyes once more and staring at them as the conversation continued.

"Has she spoken to the police yet?" Jordan's voice said as it came trailing through the door, which was ajar.

"No, she's refusing to let us call them." Zoe replied, the worry clear in her voice.

"Zoe... has she at least been examined?" Jordan said, looking at the ceiling with an angry expression.

"I just completed a pelvic exam when she had the panic attack. We've patched her up and logged the injuries we saw, and we've stored the clothes we found on the pavement at the scene and taken blood." Zoe answered.

"Did you find anything in the exam?"

Sam chose to block this part of the conversation from her mind, thinking about anything to possibly keep her mind off of what they were talking about. But it was impossible, so she allowed her mind to tune back in for the last sentence.

"…I have taken a sample and it's going to be sent down to the lab now." Zoe finished.

"OK… I'll go and inform everyone-"

"No, she's been very clear; she doesn't want anyone else knowing." Tess interjected, staring at the ground.

"Alright. Can you page me when she's awake? I need to go and deal with a patient… and I'll need to talk to her." Jordan murmured as he stared at his eager before running off.

Sam shuffled around until she had turned herself onto her side and stared at the wall thinking the conversation was over until Tess's voice hit her ears.

"Do you think she knows who did this to her?"

"I think that's a question you'd have to ask her, that is if she ever feels strong enough to talk about it."


	7. Chapter 7: Third Deafeat

After drifting in an out of an uneasy sleep for several hours, Sam decided enough was enough. The covers slid down her as she pulled herself upright, wincing slightly at the various aches that had crept up on her during her uncomfortable stupor.

As she swung her legs off of her bed the usual dullness settled on her mind as she once more remembered why she was sleeping in her hospital bed and not preparing for another night shift. She stared around the room once more and touched her chest as she remembered the events that had unfolded before her slumber.

She jerked her head up at the sound of a soft knock at the door and found herself face to face with Tess, who stepped inside.

"How are you feeling? " She asked gently as she sat down beside her.

Sam shrugged before answering, "Aches and pains."

"Do you want me to get some pain relief?"

"No... It's helping me." Muttered Sam.

Tess stared at her with a bemused look, which was answered by a shake of her head. Sam placed her head in her hands for a moment, shutting her eyes and once again trying to rid herself of the images that plagued her mind.

Tess moved a little closer and placed a comforting arm around her shoulder as she took deep breaths, bracing herself for what she knew was coming next.

"Sam we have your blood results, Mr Jordan would like to talk you through them."

Sam raised her head and stared her with a knowing expression.

"I heard you three talking earlier." She muttered.

"Sam I'm sorry-"

"It's fine."

Tess stared at her for a moment or more precisely at the unreadable expression on her face before sighing and giving her a smile.

"Are you ok with Mr Jordan coming in and talking you through-"

"Yes."

Sam's reply was sharp and cold, the latter also reflecting how she felt. The pain in her fingers was becoming an achy throb, but still she refused to give in. She would not take anything to numb the thing that was keeping her sane.

Sam watched Tess get up and walked towards the door out of the corner of her eye, and nodded irritably as she asked yet again whether it was ok to get Mr Jordan. After she left Sam let out a breath she had no idea she'd been holding. She leant back slightly, propping herself up with her good hand and staring at the ceiling.

She wished her mind was as plain as this room was, but she found it was churning a mass of thoughts around each conflicting with the next. One part of her wanted to break out of the hospital and run home, the other wanted to curl in a ball and cry, some other part of her mind wanted to just close her eyes and catch up on the sleep that had so far been evading her. One part, that was growing larger and larger all the time wanted to grab him around the throat and choke him to death.

Sam knew that eventually one of these thought would take over and her sanity depended on which one. A soft knock at the door momentarily extinguished the churning thoughts in her mind as her focussed snapped to Nick Jordan standing at the door with a mournful expression plastered on his face and a sheet of paper in his hand.

"Good evening Dr Nicholls, how are you feeling?" He asked in his usual tone.

Relieved at hearing some normality, Sam answered as she would to anyone asking that question on any other day.

"Better thank you."

"I have your blood work, and I'm pleased to say that it's come back normal." Jordan said as he stepped into the threshold of the room.

Sam nodded expectantly.

"You will have to get your bloods checked again in about 6 months for HIV as I'm sure you know it's too soon to tell-"

"There's no need." Sam said dully, though with a slight icy undertone.

"Why would there be no need…unless you know the man."

"No of course I don't!" Sam snapped a little too quickly.

"Sam if you have any idea who did this then-"

"I just told you I don't." Sam countered, the icy undertone in her voice becoming more pronounced.

"Sam…" Mr Jordan muttered as he stepped closer.

Sam shuffled back slightly as he came closer, warding him away. For a second she went back to the alleyway, picturing his smiling face standing over her battered body. She yelped as she opened his eyes and saw him closer, watching her face with a worried expression.

"Sam! I'm sorry I didn't mean to frighten you…" Nick said gently as he backed away.

"It's fine. Have anything else to say?" She muttered coldly, staring at him with a hostile expression.

"Sam please reconsider calling the p-"

"I said no."

Jordon sighed exasperatedly and stared at her two bandaged fingers, then to the plaster covering the cut n her neck and the bandage holding her padding to her head injury in place.

"You're going to have to take the next 2 to three weeks off at the very least." He said gently as he surveyed the injuries.

Sam would have jumped to her feet if the injuries she has would let her, but she had to settle for standing up slowly and staring at him with an outraged expression.

"I'm perfectly able to do my job!" She shouted indignantly.

"Sam look at yourself! You're injured, tied and you have a head injury! Please explain to me what part of that sounds remotely like someone who should even set into work!"

"You're short staffed! I'm perfectly able-"

"Sam… Sam. I didn't come to argue with you over this. You're not coming back until I say so. Is that understood?"

Sam opened her mouth to protest but shut it again promptly, she knew she was beaten. She nodded silently as he said goodbye and stepped into the corridor to talk to Tess who had been watching the whole thing.

She sat back on the bed, defeated once more. She laid back on the bed and rested her head on the pillow, wincing slightly as the pad pressed into the cut at the base of her skull. She replayed the conversation in her mind and sighed deeply.

Three times. Three times she had been defeated by people forcing her to do something she didn't want to do.


	8. Chapter 8: Distortions

Sam gave a startled cry and flung her eyes open, growling slightly as she realized she had just had the same dream three times in a row. She rubbed her eyes with her fists and sat up slowly, and gradually became aware of the pains up and down her body.

Her head felt like a bass drum, and the throbbing of her fingers reminded her of shutting her hand in a door over and over. She smiled slightly as she realized there had been no delay in her remembering what had happened as she woke up.

She glanced up at the clock and immediately regretted it, as a sharp pain shot through her forehead and wound its way to the back of her head. She lowered it again quickly, and just registered the time as something past midnight.

The pain from her head was retreating back to a dull ache, making her question whether it was ever there. She cast her eyes around the room slowly, before turning her attention to the window through the door. Nobody around.

Quickly and quietly she slid her legs off of the bed and forced herself into a standing position, choosing to ignore how her legs swayed or how the room appeared to be swaying with her. She quickly brushed a couple of hairs out of her eyes and slowly made for the door.

After turning the handle on the prison like room she was in she poked her head around the doorframe and turned her head left and right to check the corridor. Still no one around. She stepped out onto the corridor, and noticed the same swaying effect that the room had and chose to disregard it once more.

Her progress down the corridor was slow for a couple of reasons. One being she had no idea what ward she was on, the other being the pain in her legs was intensifying with every step. After turning the corner and heading down an identical corridor to the one she inhabited her left leg nearly gave way.

She stopped herself hitting the ground and crying out by grabbing the rail that winded its way around the corridor and hauling herself back onto two feet. Sam stared around her, aware the silence of the corridor would not last long, it never did in a hospital.

The continued her way down the corridor, hauling herself along the rail for support. It was then she finally saw what she was looking for. She just could see the lift sign at the end of the still swaying corridor, but the distance between her and her destination made her feel like she was starting a marathon.

Her progress was slow, and she was forced to hide behind bins or down other corridors when nurses and doctors came by but she made it. She stood leaning against the wall opposite the lift, catching her breath. The pain in her legs was so bad she didn't think she could take another step, but after throwing caution to the wind she placed her left leg in front of her and nearly cried out at the pain snaked its way up her thigh and around her waist.

On her second step her right leg gave way, and she was forced to place her good hand falt against the lift door to stop herself colliding with it. Except she wasn't touching the lift door, her hand had landed on paper. As she raised her gaze to stare at it her stomach dropped about a mile. Out of order.

She had to use the stairs.

The long shuffle over to the stairs was elongated by the time it took her to force the heavy door open, and the frantic scramble to one side as a familiar clopping sound reached her ears. Zoe.

On a hunch Sam hid to the left of the door, hoping that Zoe would turn right and head towards her room. She did exactly that, quickening her pace slightly as she got off of the stairs and did not glance back.

The relief that washed over Sam at this was mixed with fear also, for this meant she had about a minute to get down the stairs before Zoe realised she was gone and went looking for her.

Sam gave up altogether on standing; instead she shuffled over to the stairs and sat on the top stair, ready to get down by sitting on each stair. Her progress felt agonisingly slow, but was in reality a lot quicker than her current walking speed.

As she progressed down the stairs the world around her began to spin, twisting itself into a kaleidoscope's worth of colours and shapes. She knew she was still on the stairs, she could feel the stair she was sitting on cutting into the back of her legs but no longer saw what she was feeling.

Suddenly the world started to reassemble itself, and the feeling of the stair beneath her ebbed away. She was sitting in the alleyway once more, knees drawn up to her chest staring at the broken streetlamp. He was standing some distance away, his face contorted with the same fury he had a few hours ago.

As she stared at him all the breath in her seemed to vanish, and she found herself struggling for air once more. She couldn't move either; her limbs seemed to be glued to her sides. Her legs were no longer hurting, her fingers felt like they were never broken but something was deinfitely wrong as she stared at his menacing figure.

Suddenly he advanced on her, sending a terrible shiver down her body but still she couldn't move. Ever touch of his made her want to scream in agony, but still she couldn't move. She could feel his arms looped underneath hers now, dragging her back further into the alleyway.

Suddenly the spell that kept her paralysed broke and she found herself twisting and writhing in his grip. His arms were like a vice grip around her, she couldn't shake him off. Then suddenly he let go, laying her gently on the ground and standing over her.

She whimpered in fright as the world around him shifted from the white of a hospital corridor to the darkness of the alleyway, and begun to wonder which reality was true. One again she found herself paralysed, but her breathing though ragged had returned to her.

She watched in fear as he knelt down over her again and opened his mouth to speak.

"Sam? Can you hear me?"

Sam entire body was wracked by a shiver not caused by fear but by shock. His voice had been replaced with an all too familiar one, it was Zoe's voice.

Once again the world around her began twisting in a kaleidoscope of colours, before returning to the hospital corridor, with an extremely worried Zoe peering into her eyes.

She stared at her for a moment, before everything went black.


	9. Chapter 9: Reality

She could hear their voices and the blip of a heart rate monitor, and she could feel someone caressing her hand but she didn't want to open her eyes. She was quickly coming out of the comfortable half awake half asleep state she found herself in, but while she was there she had not a care in the world or a worry.

Gradually the tranquil state she woke up into fizzled and died, leaving the empty pit of fear and despair to eat away at her once more. She opened her eyes slowly and stared at the people around her hospital bed.

Zoe was staring at her face intently, the anxious expression evaporating into relief when she at last opened her eyes. Tess was also there, standing some distance away filling a syringe up with a clear liquid before bringing it over and injecting into the drip that had been placed in her arm.

"How are you feeling?" Zoe asked cautiously.

"Better than I was." Sam replied, a slight croak in her voice.

Zoe smiled and nodded, though Sam could see the smile was forced. Tess was standing some distance away, listening to what was being said.

"What happened?" Sam asked, making to sit up but finding both Zoe and Tess restraining her.

"You had a bleed on the brain." Zoe said gently.

"_What?" _Sam almost shouted, her voices climbing a few octaves.

"It's alright, we've been taking scans over the last few hours and it seems to have stopped itself but I'm afraid you won't be getting out of here at least until this time next week."

Sam sighed and rested her head back down, staring at the ceiling with a relieved expression. The events of last night were still playing around her mind, but the images of what she got up to made no sense until Zoe spoke up again.

"What were you thinking, trying to leave like that?"

"I... I can't remember that much." Sam replied, staring at her with shock.

"I found you on the stairs, you looked like you were about to chuck yourself down them!" Zoe said with an exasperated look on her face.

"I... I wasn't there... In my head." Sam stammered.

"What does that mean?" Zoe asked, noticing the pain in her eyes.

Sam glanced over to Tess with a wary expression on her face of which Zoe caught sooner than she did, motioning her to leave for a moment.

"So what happened?" Zoe asked placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I... wasn't there in my head. I...I was back in the alleyway w-with…"

"..The man who attacked you. Oh Sam…" Zoe murmured, clasping her hand in her own.

"I-I should never have tried to get out…" Sam muttered, hanging her head.

"Why did you?"

Sam paused a moment before answering, staring around the room as if looking for someone to answer for her.

"I... I couldn't take being defeated again." She murmured, running a hand over her forehead.

Zoe stared at her bemused for a moment, waiting for her to speak again. When she didn't Zoe covered her confused look and went into doctor mode, composing her features into a professional manner.

"Sam I think you should see a crisis counsellor." Zoe said matter-of-factly.

"No, No please I don't want to talk about this, not now... Please!" Sam exclaimed, forcing herself upright and staring at Zoe with a terrified expression.

"Sam I'm not going to force you, but since you can't explain to me what's going on then I think ;it'es best that you talk to a profess-"

"I-I'll tell you." Sam muttered with uncertainty in her eyes.

"Ok… so why did you say you couldn't take being defeated?" Zoe asked gently as she switched back into friend mode.

"I… I was defeated three times. Once by the guy w-who…" Sam breathed deeply, making it clear she wasn't going to finish that sentence. "Then by you two, you took me where I didn't want to be: here. Then again by Mr Jordan, he told me I couldn't come back to work for a few weeks."

"Sam we didn't defeat you... We helped you. We are helping you. And the man who did this hasn't beaten you either. But you are giving him power over you."

Sam jerked her head up and stared at Zoe with a pained expression. "How?"

"You're sitting here suffering in silence, you wouldn't let anyone give you pain relief. Giving yourself more pain isn't going to-"

"I didn't not take the pain relief because I wanted pain!" Sam almost shouted, her eyes brimming with tears.

"The what, Sam you looked ready to chuck yourself down some stairs to give you more and self harming isn't going to fix any-"

"I don't want ain but it's the only thing keeping me sane!" She took several deep breaths and stared at Zoe confused expression before continuing. "The first time I woke, up, and Just now, I didn't remember what happened for a moment. Those moments are the most tranquil and the most painful because I have to remember all over again! I hate it!"

Zoe sighed and nodded looking down at her hands still entwined with Sam's on her lap. Sam's breathing and heart rate had increased dramatically, so she decided to give her a moment before speaking again.

After a couple of minutes Sam's breathing had slowed back to normal and her heart rate was steadier than before.

"Sam... What about that streetlight you kept staring at in the alleyway? What was that about?"

"I… I... can't tell you that without saying what h-happened…"

"Sam please, I know you don't want to because you're absolutely terrified even if you won't admit it, but please talk to me! I can help if you would just let me in!"

"I am letting you in!" Sam said, jerking her tear strained face up.

"Sam, you're telling me everything but what you really need to say... and you know what that is."

"You haven't asked me what you think it is I really need to say." Pointed out Sam indignantly.

"Sam... Please tell me what happened!"


	10. Chapter 10: Breaking point

Sam stared at Zoe like she had just killed her cat. She tried to speak, to say no but words failed her. She couldn't do it, and she wouldn't, so she merely shook her head. Zoe opened her mouth to protest but was silenced by the look she received. Sam's expression was cold, but the traces of fear that lined her features were far more pronounced than the hostility.

"Sam I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you..." Zoe said, making to touch her shoulder but drawing back as Sam jerked away.

"It's fine." Sam muttered, refusing to look her in the eye.

"Sam don't do this." Zoe begged.

"Do what?" Sam asked staring at her broken fingers.

"Don't open up to me then close down again, we can't help you if you won't help yourself." Zoe replied, still staring at her face.

"You want to help me?" Sam asked, still not meeting her gaze.

"Yes of course I do!" Zoe exclaimed.

"Then get me the discharge forms, I'm discharging myself." Sam said, finally raising her head and giving her a hard stare.

"Sam that's not a-"

"I'm not asking your opinion. Just get them."

Zoe opened her mouth to argue but promptly closed it once more, realizing it was useless. She stood up slowly, defeated by a stern glare from her patient.

Sam hung her head and listened to the clopping of Zoe's shoes as she walked out of the room and shut the door with a click. As soon as she left Sam began pulling the drip out of her hand and ripping the wires which connected the heart rate monitor from her chest.

She slid her legs slowly off of the bed and hobbled over to the window, once again staring at the people going about their daily lives. With a jolt she saw several members of the ED heading into work, unaware that one of their colleagues was a patient a few floors away from them.

She smirked slightly as she realized that there would be no excuse for her absence, and yet more rumours would soon start circulating. With a pang she realized that this whole nightmare had started in the ED, and she wondered briefly if she would ever be able to set foot back in that place without the fear of him walking in and hurting her again.

She placed her good hand on one of her opposite elbow behind her back and closed her eyes for a moment, once again battling with the images that were flooding her mind. She noticed with a jolt that his voice was more ragged and rough than it was in the hospital, and wondered for a moment if he had been planning this whole time, acting kind around her then switching to his true colours once her found her alone.

It was then it hit her. The black car, _his _black car had not just been following her down Sandown Road, it had been there since she left the hospital. He had followed her.

She ran through the few memories she had of the journey home that night, and realized that the sound of his engine had only become apparent to her on Sandown road because something didn't feel right.

Her eyes flew open and she couldn't stop a startled gasp escaping her lips as she had all her suspicions confirmed. He had planned to hurt her. He had planned all of this.

She thought back briefly to the hospital and realized she had never once seen him go and visit his "daughter", he had only asked her whether or not she was alright and acted relieved when she had said yes.

Sam's face contorted with fury, her shoulders stiffening and her heart banging in her chest. This was the sight that greeted Zoe when she entered the room with her discharge papers.

She quickly clopped over to Sam and steered her by her shoulders over to the bed and sat her down.

"Sam what happened? What's wrong?" Zoe almost shouted, feeling her forehead for a temperature.

"He... He planned this…" Sam murmured, too overcome to think about what she was saying.

"Who planned what? Sam? Are you talking about the mean who hurt you?"

"He...tricked me, tricked all of us... then he followed me a-and…. " Sam closed her eyes, not wanting to finish the sentence.

"Who did? Sam please tell me!" Zoe exclaimed, placing a hand around Sam's shoulders.

"The man... you met him... He said he was my patient's father…" Sam murmured between harsh shivers.

"You mean the rude guy who was yelling at everyone but… you! Oh Sam…" Zoe sighed as she caught on.

"He wasn't her father… He was following me…" Sam muttered.

"He was following you home?" Zoe quizzed, staring at her ashen face.

Sam nodded. "I didn't notice until Sandown R-road…"

"And that's where he attacked you… I thought I saw a car speed off." Zoe muttered darkly.

Sam was breathing heavily once more, her eyes squeezed shut as she once again saw the images of him attacking her.

"Sam... please, please reconsider reporting this…" Begged Zoe as she opened her eyes once more.

"I c-can't.." Sam whispered.

"Why? Are you too scared, I promise I'll be there every step of the way.." Zoe murmured as she rubbed her back.

"You don't understand…"

"I understand fear Sam, and I can see that your terrified!"

"You don't-"

"Sam I found you on the pavement with no clothes on, a whole load of injuries refusing treatment, what is there to un-"

"He held a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me if I told anyone! Do you see now, Zoe? Or do you need me to explain to you exactly what it's like to be held down and violated by a complete stranger? I have ever been in so much pain or been so humiliated! I'm from the army, I should be able to look after myself yet I couldn't! I was too damn scared!"


	11. Chapter 11: Gratitude

_**Guest: I decided not to include Dylan when I first started planning this story as I didn't want to focus on Dylan and Sam's relationship like many other fanfics seem to be doing at the moment. **_

_**Thanks again for the continuing reviews and support for this story; I'm really enjoying reading your reviews every morning!**_

…

Sam had been attempting to ease the jacket Zoe had agreed to get from her home over her heavily bruised shoulders for about half an hour now, with little success. Every time she got it over her shoulder blades a sharp pain made her flinch and drop it on the floor. Not that she was being particularly gentle.

She was still fuming over the argument she had had with Zoe, but she wasn't angry with her, she was angry with herself. She shouldn't have told Zoe about the threat; it was only going to make her more determined to persuade her to press charges.

Zoe had been bombarding her with facts about rapists since she had told her, most of these facts she already knew. When Sam and not so politely reminded her that she was also a doctor and had heard the Sam amount of facts, possible more, in her time Zoe had sighed and left with the armfuls of studies and papers on the subject she had.

Sam sighed and shook her head as she pushed this memory to the back of her mind, she knew that Zoe was trying to help but there was helping and there was being downright annoying. As she knelt down to pick up her jacket she heard the quiet hiss of the door to her room opening, and spun around.

She was greeted by the sight of Zoe and Tess both in their coats with bags under their arms. They looked worried at the sight of Sam wincing as she tried to get her jacket over her shoulder once more. Zoe wordlessly walked up behind her and gently eased t over her shoulders, before zipping it up to her chest. Sam quickly zipped it up further, until her cut neck was also covered.

"What are you doing here? And please don't tell me you've come to bombard me with more facts." Sam said dully, staring at them with a dark expression.

"No Sam, we haven't. I want you to come and stay with me for a few days." Zoe said gently.

Sam gave a hollow laugh. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Sam I don't think it's a good idea for you to be alone right now." Tess countered.

"Well I'd rather be." Sam muttered flatly as she made to leave after swinging her bag onto her arm.

"Well you're going to have to put up with constant interruptions then." Zoe said just as flatly.

Sam stopped in the doorway and squared her shoulders before turning around slowly.

"Keep away from me." She said with terrifying calm.

"Not going to happen. We will be coming over twice a day to check on you and your injuries" Tess replied just as calmly. "Or you can stay with Zoe and we won't have to bother you."

Sam grinded her teeth for a moment, knowing that she was in a corner. Zoe caught her expression and added "We're not defeating you, were giving you the choice."

Sam nodded and regained her straight backed composure before answering. "Well then I suppose I will have to stay with you for a couple of days."

Zoe smiled warmly and placed a hand gently on the top of her arm before leading her out into the corridor. Tess said her goodbyes there as her shift had started ten minutes ago before half running down a corridor.

Zoe lead Sam by her hand through the numerous corridors until they reached an entrance over the other side of the hospital from the ED. Zoe walked her over to her car before standing to one side to allow Sam to crawl in, she watched as she winced slightly as the bruises on her legs started to twinge.

Zoe sat down beside her, setting both their bags into the back seats before turning to place a comforting hand on Sam's own, which was resting on her lap. Sam gave a hollow smile, before returning her gaze to her hands as Zoe started the engine.

As they pulled out of the car park Sam stared around at the droves of people in cars heading in the opposite direction as visiting hours started. She sighed and collected her thoughts, trying to focus on the rows of houses they drove by, but it didn't work. As she and Zoe stared at the umpteenth red traffic light they had been caught by in the last five minutes, her mind wandered back slightly

"You alright?" Zoe asked as she noticed her pale complexion.

Sam nodded slowly and gave Zoe a grateful smile as she briefly placed a hand on her own while they waited.

"Were about 10 minutes away now, so long as were not held up here for much longer… Come on!" Zoe finished, beeping her horn several times and putting a small smile on Sam's face.

Zoe grinned back at her once she noticed, and gave a long sigh of relief when she realized they were clear to go.

As they picked up speed once more Sam returned to her thoughts and realized that Zoe had just stopped her from returning to that dark place in her head. She turned to look at her and saw for the first time the crease of worry that had formed on her brow and felt slightly guilty for the trouble she had been causing the people who only wanted to help her.

Zoe turned and gave her an encouraging albeit forced smile before turning and facing front again. Sam smiled back long after she had turned away, trying to show her ears every bit of gratitude she had for the person who had saved her.


	12. Chapter 12: Girl in the mirror

_**I'm probably not going to be posting anything for a couple of days, I'm a bit busy**_

…

Sam entered Zoe's flat a little behind her, nervous about where to stand in someone else's house. The flat was fairly plain but very roomy, with quite a large living room and an expensive and clean looking kitchen to the left of the living room.

"That's never used, only cleaned up occasionally" Zoe said grinning at Sam's surprised look. "Like it?"

Zoe gestured around the flat. "Love it" Sam replied quietly.

They walked one behind the other into the living room where Zoe took of her coat and threw it onto the nearest living chair before motioning Sam to sit down beside her. Sam sat slowly, wincing at the pain her ribs caused as she did this.

"How's the pain?" Zoe asked as she watched her expression.

"Getting worse…" Sam muttered as she clutched her side.

"Well you are due to take something in an hour or so... looks like we may have to change that to now." Zoe said as she grabbed a small white bag out of her coat and walked to the kitchen.

As Sam looked around she could hear the sound of running water and Zoe's clopping heels as she returned to where she was sitting, with two tablets and a glass of water in her hand. Sam took them both wordlessly, almost tipping the water as a spasm of pain crept up her arm.

Zoe gently grabbed her wrist and helped her keep hold while she placed the tablets in her mouth and swallowed with a gulp of water. After she helped Sam set the glass on a nearby coffee table before sitting down beside her, she still had her eyes closed after the spasm of pain.

"You alright?" She asked, gently taking the effected hand rubbing it slightly.

Sam nodded, opening her eyes and staring around warily before turning her scared gaze to Zoe, who gave her an encouraging smile.

"How long will it be before I can go back to work?" Sam asked quietly, lowering her gaze.

"Sam… I can't put a definite figure on it…" Zoe said in a vain attempt to avoid the question.

"Guess then, in your professional opinion how long?" Sam asked a little more forcefully.

"Well, I'd say around a month at least but-"

Sam let out a loud moan of frustration and stared at the ceiling, blinking tears from her eyes. As she stared at her frustrated face Zoe saw at last what was getting to her more than being attacked, it was the fact that thanks to her attacker she couldn't live her life how she wanted. She had to wait for her battered and bruised body to recover from the onslaught before she could get her life off of pause.

"But if you start showing signs of an early recovery you _might _and that's a big might be able to return in a fortnight or so." Zoe said, placing a hand on the usual area of the top of her arm.

Sam turned slightly and gave her a wry smile, trying to show her gratitude through the pain of having to spend any time off at all.

Zoe glanced at the clock and sighed. "I think it would be best you went and got some rest... I know it's still early in the day but it may help you relax a little"

Sam nodded and sighed, bracing herself slightly as she stood up but quickly relaxed again as the pain medication kicked in. Zoe walked slightly ahead, making sure not to walk too fast so Sam could catch up and lead her into a decent sized spare room, with a double bed, a wardrobe and a bedside table with a lamp.

"I'm going to need more clothes…" Sam muttered as she stared at the wardrobe.

"If you give me your keys I'll go and get you some." Zoe said, holding her hand out.

Sam rummaged through her pockets for a few seconds before pulling out her keys and handing them to Zoe who gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and headed out of the room, grabbing her car keys from the kitchen table as she left.

Sam slowly began to walk over to the bed and sat down, wincing slightly as pain the medication had not yet quelled crept up on her. She eased the Zip of her jacket down and off of her shoulders, wincing slightly as it made contact with the bruises. After laying the jacket on the bed and none too gracefully swinging her legs up and resting her head on the pillow, she sighed deeply.

For a few minutes she stared at the ceiling, listening for the click of a front door as it locked. She had to wait a couple of minutes for this, and spent most of the time skirting around her memories of the last few days and instead trying to focus on what Zoe could be doing in her unused kitchen.

After hearing the click of the front door locking Sam quickly swung her legs off of the bed and wandered over to the door and out into the hallway. She hobbled into the room opposite and was relieved to find she was exactly where she wanted to be. The bathroom.

She slowly began to undress, pulling her clothes off one by one and finding herself relieved as every twinge she expected was either dulled dramatically or didn't come. She turned and stalked over to the nearby mirror, tripping over her clothes slightly and gasped at the extensive bruising.

The cut on her neck stood out like a sore thumb, and the padding around her ribs was so thick her curves had all but disappeared. But what scared her more than anything was her face. It was pale and her cheeks had begun to sink in, as though her body was starting to give up.

She attempted to smile at herself, but the person in the mirror looked gaunt and disturbed. The frown lines on her face had increased dramatically and her forehead had a couple of wrinkles where she had held dulcet expressions for long.

The turban- like bandage on her head made her resemble an Egyptian mummy; all she needed was a bit more bandaging over her arms and shoulders.

She tore her gaze away after several minutes, not wanting to stare at her face any longer. She pulled the shower screen behind her away and stepped into the shower, padding and bandages on.


	13. Chapter 13: Third rescue

_**I'm probably not going to be able to post daily any more but I'll try and keep it was frequent as I can. **_

_**Please continue to review and comment on how you think the story is going! **_

…

Sam sat at the bottom of the shower, he head resting on her knees. She could feel the blood trickling down her neck after the torrent of water had busted the stitches wide open. Yet again she didn't care.

The bandages were strewn over the bottom of the shower, a mass of material soaked in blood. The shower head lay beside her, water still spouting out of the tip and heading down the plug hole in a great fountain- like spout.

She had tried with everything she had to rub his touch off of her skin, but all she had succeeded in doing was rubbing red patches into her body. She could hear her pulse thudding in her ears but the rest of the world was but a dream to her.

She was stuck in a half conscious bubble of warmth which gave her the illusion of being safe. Nothing could touch her, not even the patch of darkness that inhabited the back of her mind because she was in that safe place she always retired to back in the army. When she needed to calm down after a long day surrounded by machine gun fire and bombs going off so close they shook the ground around her she would inhabit this place in her mind, and there nothing could touch her.

There was only one difference between then and now: she hadn't inhabited this calm place by choice. She had found herself dragged into this place out of the darkness that had flooded most of her mind after she started scrubbing her skin until it rubbed off of her body.

So now she sat there, half smiling at the warm tingling feeling that was threatening to knock her unconscious if she continued her attack on her body. She became aware of the ever present dark patch at the back of her mind once more, and frowned a little.

A few minutes ago the darkness had threatened to overcome her, now it was but a small dot in an ocean of calm and tranquillity. But it was still there, staring at her happy thoughts as though it was mocking them, waiting for its next opportunity to send her head into peril.

Though it was small, that tiny dot was disturbing her peace. She shook her head angrily, trying to dislodge it from the back of her mind but it stayed exactly where it was, leering at her. She could almost imagine it chanting at her: "_You can't get me! You can't get me!" _ And moved her hands up to claw at the place on the surface of her head it was closest to.

She could feel it once again getting bigger, as though the clawing action was angering the patch of memories and immediately began clawing her head faster and harder, trying with every ounce of strength to beat it from her mind. But still it got larger.

It was pushing the pink patch of tranquillity further and further forward as she scrabbled to hold onto the last bit of hope as a sea of negative thoughts invaded her head until even that was gone.

She could feel his anger, his desire to have her to himself and she screamed with rage and clawed at her head with renewed vigour.

She could feel him how, pulling her hands away from her head and shouting in his gravelly voice. She struggled and kicked but nothing would make him let go, his grip was as tight as a vice. He was yelling at her to open her eyes, to see who he is but she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, not wanting to give him one more ounce of satisfaction.

It was then her mind snapped. She could feel the darkness that clouded her mind ebbing away, to be replaced with something that resembled the bitterness of her normality. She could feel the hands on her own now, and became aware of the fact that she had stopped struggling.

The hands on her own were soft and tender, and were gently holding hers away from her head to make sure she couldn't hurt herself anymore. Then at last she spoke.

"Sam?" Zoe's voice called out delicately.

Sam froze in shock at the voice; once again she had thought Zoe was him. She felt the tingling of relief wash up over as she finally came to her senses, and realized her defences were low. She struggled to raise her head and open her saw eyes to stare at the person who had saved her three times now.

A lump quickly rose in her throat as she stared at her, and a small tear trickled down her cheek. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't hold back what was happening to her. Shock washed away all signs of relief as she realized that the great waves of pain she had been feeling were all because she couldn't talk about it.

He had muted her with a knife to her throat and a bite on her earlobe. He had told her not to speak, and she had been so shocked about what he had done that she had complied. She had _helped _him.

Sam stared at Zoe once again, she could see the worry and fear etched into her features but that wasn't what struck her first. There was friendship and safety behind those eyes. She could trust Zoe. As if there had ever been any doubt in the first place.

She tried to open her mouth but found it almost glued shut by the dryness she hadn't even comprehended was there. It took her a while to ease it open, and she winced slightly as she licked her lips to find a crack there.

She knew her voice was going to be raspy and thin, but found herself praying her mind didn't betray her and the right words came out of her mouth. She stared at Zoe's features once more before allowing the words to arrange themselves on her tongue.

"Zoe… I-I need to tell y-you what happened…."


	14. Chapter 14: Strength

Sam stared at her now covered lap while she sat on the bed as Zoe gently examined her head wound. She cringed as she touched around the edges of the cut but made no other movement. Her mind was otherwise occupied.

She was trying to think of a way to tell Zoe everything that had happened in that alleyway, but her mind kept shutting her out and refused to let her access the words she needed. She felt as though her head was shutting down, banning her from telling anyone it's deep dark secret.

Zoe placed a pad over her cut and wound a clean bandage around her head before securing it into place with a plaster just above her right eye. Next she handed Sam a small glass of water with yet another tablet and watched as she took it. Sam popped the tablet in her mouth and put the glass to her lips.

Sam drank thirstily, not realizing how much strain the shower had put on her body. She finished the glass and set it on the bedside table, frowning at the violent shake that travelled up her arm as she did this.

Zoe next checked her shoulders and her ribs, and banding them up as before. By the time she was finished she resembled a mummy. Zoe helped her to pull the dressing gown that was around her waist up to her shoulders, and gently tied the front up while she moved her arms though, wincing at the pain it caused her.

"Well it looks like you were lucky, just a couple of friction burns." Zoe said matter-of-factly.

Sam nodded, staring at her broken fingers and sighing.

Zoe sat down on the edge of the bed next to her, and stared at her nervous expression for a moment. She sighed after a couple of minutes of awkward silence, realizing Sam would not be the one to initiate the conversation.

"Sam… I don't want to force you to tell me what happened, and if you feel under any obligation to do so…" Zoe murmured softly, placing a reassuring hand on her back.

"I-I don't." Sam replied, hating the way her voice shook. "I need to tell s-someone."

"Do you want to get some sleep then tell me or shall we do this now?"

Sam stared up at Zoe, knowing full well that she had to do this now or she would never do it. Slowly she opened her mouth and gave Zoe the answer.

Zoe nodded and shuffled closer to her, so she could place her arm right the way around her shoulders and waited patiently.

Sam opened her mouth and closed it soon after several times, a bemused expression forming on her face.

"Sam?" Zoe asked with a hint of confusion.

"I-I don't know where t-to start." Sam muttered, looking down and her hands with a red tinge appearing on her face.

"How about you start with when you left the hospital?" Zoe suggested.

Sam nodded and closed her eyes for a moment, trying to remember everything that went on before the attack.

"I- I remember talking to Tom in the car park, who offered me a friendly ear if I need it, then I was walking out of the car park and…. I…."

Sam screwed her face up in concentration as she attempted to remember what exactly she did after that.

"I was walking down the road outside the hospital gates… It was noisy, three ambulances had just pulled in past me and Jeff gave me wave, after that I'm not sure…"

"Sam just take your time, I'm sure the memories will come back to you."

"I-I'm not sure I want them to…" Sam muttered.

Zoe gave the shoulder she was holding a reassuring, squeeze, letting her know it was ok to continue.

"I was thinking a lot, I wasn't really paying attention as I walked and I nearly got ran over by a b-black c-car…" Sam screwed her eyes shut as she realized that was the same black car with tinted windows that _he _owned.

Zoe moved slightly and stared up at the ceiling, "What were you thinking about?"

"I-I was thinking about what you and Tom had said earlier about missing Dylan…"

Sam screwed her face up as she tried to keep her mind from jumping to the next image in her head.

"Can you remember what roads you turned down?"

Sam shook her head before continuing.

"I stopped about half way down Sandown road, I felt like something was wrong and I realized the car… h-he was still there… f-f-following me…"

Zoe started rubbing her back once more, and placed a reassuring hand over her own as realization dawned on her.

"That car that nearly ran you over was that the same one?"

Sam gave a small nod.

Zoe blew out a long sigh, her anger and outrage clear.

"Are you ok to continue?" She asked gently.

Sam gave a feeble nod and opened her mouth to speak once more.

"H-he came out of nowhere... one minute I-I was standing the next I was on the ground... he ripped my j-jacket off…"

Sam made a loud gasping sound, as though she was in a swimming pool and had just come up for air. She felt the grip Zoe had on her hands tighten and the rubbing on her back intensify slightly.

"He... he… got a-all my clothes off and he… dug h-his thighs into my legs... and held my hands really tight on the ground…. And h-he… "

Sam squeezed her eyes shut and placed her good hand over one of her ears, moaning loudly as she remembered the feeling of him hurting her. Zoe cradled her head in the crook of her neck and murmured several words of comfort before she continued.

"After" She spat out the world like a snake would spit venom. "He s-stood over me and stared at me, with this smile on his face… the h-he held a knife to my throat and told me if I ever t-told anyone h-he would find me and k-kill me."

Sam sighed as tears rolled down her cheeks, and Zoe's words of comfort came through large sobs of her own.

They stayed like that for a while, Sam allowing the mingled relief and fear of telling someone to take full effect, Zoe desperately trying to stop herself form crying.

"Oh Sam... Why didn't you let us help you…?" Zoe sobbed as she held the frail woman.

Sam blew out a long sigh. "I don't know. I didn't feel like I could trust anyone. Not after what he had done…"

"Do you trust me?"

Sam shifted around in Zoe's grip until she was facing her, two sets of tear strained eyes locking onto one and other. Slowly she nodded.

"Then... Sam I'm going to say something to you, and I know you won't like it but-"

"You want me to go to the police." Sam muttered with a dark expression on her face.

"Yes Sam, Yes I do."

Sam stared around the room for a moment, allowing the sudden change in her feelings to truly take hold. She felt more confident than she had in days, like she could finally get up and get on with her life, but it was more than that and she knew it.

She was angry. Angry at the one who had did this to her, and she wanted revenge. She wanted him to pay for everything that he had done, she wanted him to feel as scared as she did right now.

The dark expression that had taken hold of Sam unnerved Zoe slightly.

"S-Sam? You alright?"

"I'll do it. Call the police." Sam said with more determination and force than Zoe had heard in days.


	15. Chapter 15: Claustrophobic

Zoe ended the call after several minutes and placed the mobile on the bedside table. Sam had turned away slightly as she spoke to the officer, willing herself to a different place in her head until the call was over. She was dazed by the last few minutes, unsure of what to do or say. She had told Zoe everything and then told her to call the police. Now what?

Zoe lightly placed a hand on her shoulder, making her jump slightly.

"Sorry." Zoe said awkwardly as she quickly withdrew her hand.

"It's fine" Sam said as she turned to face her once more and smiled a little nervously. "So... how long?"

"They'll be here in about 20 minutes." Zoe said, looking down slightly.

Sam nodded and moved her gaze to an interesting patch of carpet. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Zoe opening and closing her mouth like a fish, clearly at a loss for what to say to her. Sam breathed a gentle sigh and returned her gaze to her face.

"I-I did the right thing, didn't I?" Sam asked, the confliction clear in her voice.

Zoe grabbed her good hand and held it tight. "Yes Sam, you did."

Sam nodded and looked at Zoe's hand on her own. When she next spoke her voice was unlike anything Zoe had ever heard come from her mouth. It was high and childlike, the fear of the coming hours sending her vocals up a few octaves.

"What happens now?"

Zoe stared at her face for a moment, realizing that not only had her voice gone high but her expression was also once again like a child, her eyes wide open and her lips slightly parted.

"Well they'll take a statement from both of us and Dixie, then they'll take your clothes and check them for DNA. They'll also want a description of the man and any examination results the hospital has." Zoe said quietly.

"You kept the clothes?" Sam asked, her voice climbing to a new pitch.

"Yes we did, they're being stored in the hospital… Sam I hope you don't mind…"

"No, thank you." Sam said, her pitch returning to normal. "If it had been up to me I would have burned them."

Zoe nodded understandingly and rubbed her shoulder, just as the bell rung.

Sam jerked her head up fearfully at the sound, and wasn't reassured by Zoe's gentle shushing noise or the clopping of her heels on the wooden floor as she went to get the door.

Her stomach was doing summersaults and lump rose in her throat as she heard the officer talking to Zoe at the door. She tried to block out as much of the conversation as she could but found it impossible.

Her gorge rose further when she heard the clopping of Zoe's shoes and the officer's coming towards her. When they entered the room they found Sam on her knees trying not to throw up.

Zoe let out a startled cry then rushed forward and placed a hand on her back, rubbing it until the sensation abated. Sam stayed on all fours for a moment, not wanting to look up and see the inhabitants of the shiny black shoes she found herself staring at.

"Miss Nicholls? I'm PC Rowan; I'm going to be the officer looking after you through this, alright?" The woman said gently.

Sam paused before answering, the woman's voice coming across sickly sweet to her as she scrambled to her feet. Sam stared at her for a moment, taking in the details of her face. She looked middle aged to her, with a round face and a tuft of short dark brown hair sticking out from under her hat. She was a good few inches shorter than Sam, and there was something in her smile that unnerved her.

"It's Sam." She said as shook the proffered hand.

The officer nodded and gestured that they should all sit down on the bed. Sam complied, but quickly felt her discomfort levels rising as Zoe and the officer sandwiched her in between them. Zoe was the first to notice, and quickly switched the opposite side of the officer.

"Ok Sam, I'm going to take a description of what he looked like here, then we'll get you down to the station to make an official statement and go from there, alright?"

Sam nodded, trying to ignore her gorge rising once more.

"Ok so Sam, can you describe him for me?" The officer asked as she pulled out a notepad and pen.

Sam took a big swallow, and composed her features before starting in a desperate attempt to keep the tears that were threatening to run down her face from doing so.

"H-he was tall, about 6ft ish I'd say… and he was wearing a blue hoodie and black trousers with the adidas symbol on them both." Sam muttered, taking deep breath to calm her ever present nerves.

"Ok good Sam, its details like the adidas symbol which are really going to help us catch him. What was his face like?"

"He… had black hair... and bushy eyebrows. His had pretty high cheekbones too… and his teeth were really uneven..." Sam said, screwing her face up in concentration as she tried to remember the face of the person she hated the most.

There were several seconds of silence save for the scratching of the officer's pen on her notepad. Zoe and Sam exchanged a few anxious glances while they waited for her to speak again. There was a blast of police sirens out front and a male voice hollered PC Rowan's name.

Sam jumped slightly at the voice, to which Zoe reacted by leaning across and placing a reassuring hand on hers.

"Alright Sam, we're going to get you over to the police station so we can get a full account from you and your friend about what happened." The officer said sweetly as Zoe helped Sam to her feet.

Sam nodded while staring at the ground, not wanting the fear of being in a car with an unknown man to show. Zoe, who had become adept at sensing Sam's changing in emotion over the last few days still picked up on it.

"Sam would you rather I drove you? We could follow PC Rowan and the other officer in my car?" She asked gently.

Another nod. Sam could see the officer leaning down slightly, as if staring at a child in a pram to get a look at her expression.

Zoe and the officer lead her out of the house, being careful not to touch her after Sam had cringed at a hand on her shoulder. They lead her over to where a police car was parked slightly in front of Zoe's car.

Sam watched nervously as PC Rowan explained the proceedings to a nearby officer, and then smiled back and nodded to Zoe so she could open her car door for Sam to climb in.

As Zoe scrambled in beside her and shut the door Sam suddenly felt very claustrophobic and glanced at the window several times until Zoe got the memo.

The ride itself may not have been long, but to Sam it felt like an eternity as she battled with the ever present darkness in her head.


	16. Chapter 16: Truth and a text

Sam stared around the reception area of the police station with a fearful expression. She, Zoe and PC Rowan had been seated there for about ten minutes and the sudden change in pace of the proceedings was doing nothing for Sam's ever present nerves.

She stared around her and sighed. They were seated a couple or rows back away from the blue automatic doors which made the entrance, and were facing the desk where they waited to be called. This was the bit Sam was dreading.

As soon as her name was called another officer would lead the pack of three around into a room and she would start making an official statement. Then there was the fun of the facial recognition software. Somehow she was expected to tell them every nasty detail of that night and then stay strong enough to identify him.

Zoe had her hand on Sam's upper arm for support, and had given it a reassuring squeeze every time a shudder wracked her pale frame. Sam turned and gave her a small smile, trying to say thank you for staying. Zoe appeared to understand, returning her gaze and giving her a wide toothy smile.

"Dr Sam Nicholls?" Called a voice.

Sam stared around her for a moment, pretending that she wasn't Sam. But alas, she and Zoe were the only two in the reception that weren't police officers.

Her nerves started to bubble up in her stomach once more, causing her to clutch it and moan. Zoe nodded at the officer who had called her name from a doorway and put up her pointer finger as a signal for them to give her a minute.

She placed a hand on Sam's back and rubbed it gently until the worst bout of nerves departed. One last shudder wracked her frame before she stood up and faced the officer. She looked friendly enough; her large round eyes and long blonde hair, but then again she looked more like a model than an officer. She wasn't wearing a uniform either, but a smart looking grey blazer and a blouse.

Zoe used the hand that was still on her back to give Sam a gentle push so she would walk over to the officer. Sam's progress was slow, mostly due to her shaking legs and how suddenly weak her knees felt.

"Sam, I'm detective inspector Tyler, Jenny, I'm going to be taking your case." The woman said in the same sickly sweet voice PC Rowan used.

Sam nodded as she stared down at the floor. She noticed out of the corner of her eyes PC Rowan was being led away by another officer as they hurtled down the corridor together, most likely on another call out.

"Ok I'm going to take you through to an interview room where you can write out a statement then we'll take things from there, alright?"

Another nod. Zoe took her hand for reassurance and gave her arm a slight pull so she would start walking. She officer shot her several looks of concern and a couple of reassuring ones as they were led around a maze of corridors.

Sam didn't return any of the glances positively, instead choosing to glance up and give a nervous smile or look away. Once they arrived at the umpteenth identical door with a room number on it they entered.

To Sam's surprise it was decorated exactly as you would expect a living room to be minus any television. There walls were a cream colour with pale green sofas arranged around a dark brown coffee table in the middle of the room. There was a carpet instead of linoleum, which was a pale blue and the more Sam stared around the room the more it began to resemble something put together with odds and ends from a second hand store, each colour clashing with the next.

DI Tyler lead them over to the collection of chairs and motioned them to sit opposite them, where a few sheets of paper and two pens had been previously placed.

"Would you like to have some privacy while you do this or are you ok with me being here?" The DI asked with a smile.

Sam gave the DI an look which bemused her until Zoe translated it to she needs to go.

As she DI got up and left, Sam wordlessly picked put the pen and began to write in as much detail as she could handle. Her writing was big and childlike thanks to how stiff her hand was, but luckily her writing hand was not the one with the broken fingers.

A couple of minutes after she had begun writing she became aware of the scratching of Zoe's pen also as she began to write out her memories to that night. Sam stopped and focused on the sound for a moment, reminding herself that what Zoe was writing meant she wasn't alone in all of this.

As she wrote several images flashes through her mind, not of him but of the streetlamp she had been transfixed by several times as she laid there in the alleyway, which had been much to the bemusement of everyone who had been in that alleyway that night.

She wrote about everything she could remember as quickly as she could, not wanting to spend a moment longer than she had to remembering.

After Zoe had finished the officer came in and took the statements, reading over them in the living chair for a couple of minutes before giving her a reassuring smile before stepping out once more along with Zoe who had received the results of the rest of Sam's tests in a particularly long text from Tess. When Sam had asked about the results she sighed and said she'd tell her when they were back at her house, and gained a mysterious disapproving glare from the officer.

As Zoe had said, next came the tedious facial recognition software, where Sam used a laptop slower than a grandma's PC to create the most accurate image she could of the face she hated. It took several seconds for Zoe to wrestle the off of her once she had finished, as once again the hot bubbling pit of anger caused by the sight of his face had taken hold of her.

The tiredness Sam felt had come on quickly, and by the time they had navigated around the maze of corridors and found a bed for her she was pretty much sleep walking.

Zoe stayed with her, staring at her sleeping form with a worried expression on her face, but for once not worry about what the young woman was thinking in her nervous dreams, but rather worry for the news she was going to awaken to.

"How the bloody hell am I going to tell her this…" Zoe muttered as she sared at the text from Tess in disbelief.


	17. Chapter 17: Illusions

_Sam was standing in darkness. She could feel her skin tingling wherever it touched, which just happened to be everywhere. Her eyes were open but she did not see, or rather she was seeing nothing. For there was nothing except the darkness. Where it had come from she had no idea, for it was never beginning or ending, just there in front of her like a blanket over her eyes. _

_She turned her head left and right to see if that made the slightest difference, but there was none. Her very existence was this dark sheet that had obliterated everything else. As she stared into the impossible, a voice sounded. _

"_You tell anyone about tonight, and I will kill you. Understand?" _

_His voice. _

_She stared around wildly into the black abyss, trying to find the source of the sound. The answer was everywhere. It had come from every direction possible and hit her ears, as though she was surrounded by a ball of hate. _

_Suddenly an excruciatingly bright light appeared at the centre of her vision and at the centre of the light he stood. She stared open mouthed at his form before glancing away from the light, the brightness almost burning a hole in her face. But she was still staring at it. _

_The light with him in the middle had followed her, as though it was fixed to the centre of her vision. She tried shutting her eyes but to no avail, his furious face still glared at her as though he was trying to stare through to her very soul. _

_The light was intensifying, and sending rainbow coloured streams away from its centre now, like fireworks. In fact, they even fizzled and cracked like a firework does just before it skyrockets far over your head. But still Sam couldn't look away. _

_She turned her head to look at the fireworks, but found him and the light still in the centre of her vision. She let out a roar of frustration and shook her head in all directions. The sound she released was muted but somehow she knew someone had heard it. It felt as though she had just shouted down a long tube, and though she couldn't hear what she had said someone else could. _

_She thought about that for a second before turning her attention back to the man forever infront of her. He had opened his mouth to speak. _

"_You told them, you told them everything." _

_His voice echoed around the blackness, as though he was speaking in a theatre. Sam shook her head and attempted to say "no" but again the sound was snatched away from her. _

"_I told you what would happen.. I told you what I would do…" _

_Sam took a step back and he took a step towards her out of the light. _

"_I will KILL you!" _

_Sam found herself sinking to her knees as he advanced on her even though every pore of her body wanted to run as fast as she could away from the mad man. _

"_I WILL KILL YOU"_

_His screams had reached a new level, and she was finally able to turn away without him following her. His footsteps were still coming, even though Sam realized he should have reached her by now. She chanced a glance upward and gasped; he was rooted to the spot. _

_Sam stood up cautiously now she appeared to have control and stared at him running flat out on the spot. It was almost a laughable sight, his face contorted with rage as he moved his legs faster and faster but still without result. He looked like a character out of a cartoon, Sam though as a curious grin erupted across her face. _

_The light he had stepped out of was growing larger now, eating up the darkness as it went. When It touched him he exploded into a million tiny pixels which disintegrated. As it neared on her she suddenly felt fearful. What is the same thing happened to her? She found herself quickly answered. _

"_You're dreaming, Sam."_

_Her own voice, calmer and cooler than she had heard in days. She smiled slightly as sighed, walking towards the light that was eating up the darkness in her mind and sending back to its tiny dark spot. Once she touched the light she was left with one last thought. _

_Once again the darkness had flooded her mind. _

Sam let out a large moan which prompted Zoe to hastily return her phone back to her pocket. She opened her eyes one at a time, willing sight to each eye as she did so.

She was greeted by the sight of Zoe sitting on a chair looking more anxious and worried than she had seen since she had found her in that alleyway. Sam raised her head of the lumpy pillow and gave her a small smile which was returned half heartedly.

"Good evening." Zoe said, attempting to cover her extremely worried look with an obviously fake smile.

"Evening?" Sam questioned, glancing at the clock.

It was five past six.

Sam frowned slightly as she tried to remember the dream she just had, but the memories felt like they were floating inches away from her grip. Zoe noticed the expression and opened her mouth to question it, before closing it again with an unreadable expression.

"Nightmare?" Zoe asked expectantly.

Sam screwed her eyes shut in an effort to remember. "Not sure.."

Zoe nodded and looked down at her lap once again. She had taken her phone out once more and was staring at it like someone had fished it out of the toilet.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, catching her expression and trying to ignore the octaves her voice had climbed as she said that.

Zoe took a deep sigh and stared at Sam with mournful eyes.

"There's something I have to tell you…" She muttered, looking down at her phone once again.

Sam looked from her to the phone and a light bulb went off in her head. If that was a message form the hospital then…

Sam placed a hand on her stomach and took in a startled breath.

"Zoe am I pregnant?"


	18. Chapter 18: New terror

Zoe stared at Sam in complete surprise.

"Sam... You know we won't be able to tell you that for at least three weeks, it's too soon. Besides you did take a pill to stop that from happening." Zoe replied.

Sam blew out a long, shaky breath and sighed. She stared at her stomach once more and frowned. She already knew that, after all she is in the same profession as Zoe. She sighed and shook her head in frustration; this whole thing was turning the logical side of her brain to mush.

"Sorry, right yeah I know that." Sam said, staring at her stomach in confusion. "So what is it? Is something wrong?"

"To be honest Sam we're not sure… we can't be certain until we run more tests."

"More tests for what?" Sam asked, a knot beginning to form in her stomach.

"Well… we think we may have found the man who attacked you. He was admitted to the hospital yesterday."

Sam sat bolt upright and stared at Zoe.

"Yesterday? What was wrong with him?"

"He was high… someone had stabbed him in the chest with a needle."

"What does this have to do with me…?" Sam asked staring at her with an odd sense of foreboding creeping up her veins.

"Well... Sam we got your blood work back. It's inconclusive. When Tess examined him she found needle marks up his arms…"

Sam let out a roar and threw her head back down in the pillow.

"…so I have an even higher chance of having an infection if he's shared needles." Finished Sam as she stared at the ceiling with a disgusted expression.

"Sam I want you to know what I will do everything I can to make sure that-"

Sam cut Zoe off with a hollow laugh.

"Make sure that what? I get treatment for whatever STI I may have? You do realize that it may something untreatable? For all I know he could have gave me HIV!"

"Sam please calm down we don't know anything for sure yet-"

"Ok fine, no, we don't know anything for sure yet. True. He could have got those marks from lying on a bed of nails, or he could use sewing machines! _Open your eyes!_ He's a junkie, and he… he…"

Sam shot bolt upright once more and began clawing at her throat as her breath came in ragged gasps.

Zoe placed both hands on her shoulders and turned her around so she was facing her.

"Sam! Listen to me! Take some nice deep breaths, alright?"

Sam shook her head quickly. "I.. Can't…"

"Yes you can! Yes you can, breathe when I do!"

Zoe started taking a deep breath, and motioned Sam to do the same. It took several deep breaths for Sam to regain control of her body, and several alarmed officers had burst into the room at the shouting and had been motioned to wait outside by Zoe.

"Feeling better?" Zoe asked, as Sam sat at the edge of the bed still taking deep breaths.

She gave a slight nod, without raising her head from the patch of floor she was looking at.

Zoe nodded and stepped outside for a moment to explain to DI Tyler and the others what had happened. Sam could have sworn she heard several moans of sympathy and felt her blood boil at that, she could just about take Zoe's sympathetic gaze but several officers of the law as well made her wish she could spontaneously combust.

When Zoe re-entered the room Sam looked up, and found herself staring at two pairs of eyes. DI Tyler was standing next to Zoe, looking concerned.

"Sam that's the second panic attack you've had." Zoe noted. "We need to get you into hospital."

"You Are not" Sam said in a furious whisper, "Getting me into the same place _he's _in."

"Sam you won't have to see him, but we need ot get you into hospital!" Zoe exclaimed.

"That'll happen on a cold day in hell." Sam said flatly, giving them each a stare that could make the dead turn in their grave.

"Ok… well then how about we go to St James instead?" Zoe offered.

"No. Just do it here." Sam muttered, staring at the floor once more.

"Can we do that?" Zoe asked, turning to DI Tyler.

"Well yes.. We do have the facilities to take blood, however it will have to be taken to the hospital to be tested." Replied the DI.

"Fine. Do that then." Sam said coldly.

The DI merely nodded and left the room. Sam wished with all her heart that Zoe had done then same as in the following minutes all that happened was some awkward conversation was made along with some half hearted jokes.

Sam was too busy running through a list of worst case scenarios to listen to most of Zoe's banter, and instead found herself picturing the day she got her test results back with every possible negative outcome.

She quickly ran through a list of infections she could end up with thanks to the fact he was a junkie, HIV, Hep C and then onto the STDs like Chlamydia . By the time she was finished running through the list she had already imagined herself unemployed and dying so when the trolley with a syringe on it came in she momentarily imagined someone giving her a lethal injection to take away the suffering.

Zoe the packet and ripped it open unveiling the clean syringe before gently rolling up one of Sam's jacket sleeves and pressing the needle into her most prominent vein as gently as she could. As Sam watched the syringe fill up with her own blood she wondered if the liquid her heart was pumping through her body was in fact killing her.

As Zoe removed the syringe and secured a plaster over the wound, she placed the syringe back on the trolley and watched as two officers wheeled the syringe containing a sample of the possible poison in her body.

"It'll be ok." Zoe said, placing a hand on her shoulder as she sat down beside her.

"You don't know that." Sam replied with a look of pure terror not unlike the once she had in the alleyway.


	19. Chapter 19: Breathe

Sam was sitting in Zoe's spare room staring at the floor with a haunted expression. Though they had gotten back around three hours ago, they had a few hours to wait until the results of the test came through and DI Tyler had promised to call Zoe as soon as they results were in.

On the plus side, he was now chained to a hospital bed after an unknown incident with a needle, on the down side she have to see him again if the case made trial and she now had more to worry about than ever.

As she sat on the end of Zoe's surprisingly comfortable spare bed she forced herself to think of anything but that night and all that had happened since. She couldn't think of her future, as that was uncertain and her past was too painful as even old memories long before this dark time in her life now were tainted by the image of his face.

So now she just thought about what she had heard on the news, and the weather and occasionally allowed herself a small glimpse at the many happy memories she had of joining the army, but not thinking about them ling enough to have them warped by her worn out mind.

She had tried to sleep, but every time she tried she felt this black spot in a sea of calm and occasionally had a strange dream involving a sea of darkness and a bright light with him in front of. The problem was it was so disjointed after she awoke that she could barely recall more than a couple of details about it.

Sam sighed and stood up, taking a long stretch and accidentally flexed the wrong parts of her body, causing her broken fingers and cracked ribs to remind her they still existed. Sam let out a low moan and walked out of her room and into the living room, where Zoe was sitting with her phone on the coffee table in front of her, staring at it as though willing it to ring.

Sam walked quietly up and took a seat next to her, also glancing at the phone.

"Anyone call?" She asked quietly as she rested her back against the sofa.

"Tess and Jordan, both updating me on the condition of the him and how he got this needle in his chest."

"How did he?" Sam asked, for some reason she was slightly more curious about this than she was her own test results.

"Apparently he tried to attack another woman, he tried to drug her but she turned around and rammed the needle in his chest." Zoe replied, moving a hand up to her face as rubbing her eyes after glancing at the clock. It was gone ten.

"Good for her." Sam muttered as a slight shiver ran down her spine.

"Hey... I'm sorry I should been a bit more delicate..." Zoe said sadly, staring at her with an apologetic expression.

"It's fine. It felt good to have someone talke to me like a human for once" Sam replied with a slight smile.

Zoe gave her a warm smile back and then a gently hug, carefully avoiding any bruises or cracked ribs. When they broke apart Zoe rubbed her arms slightly and stood up.

"Right, I better change these dressings." She said just as the doorbell rang.

Sam jumped up and stared at the door, her eyes full of fear until two voices called out.

"Zoe? Sam? It's Tess and Nick!" Mr Jordan shouted out.

Sam sighed exasperatedly and sat back down, placing her head in her hands as Zoe clopped over to the door and answered it. She listened as there was a rushed greeting before everyone filed back into the living room and took seats opposite Sam.

"Hello Sam, how are you feeling?" Tess asked politely.

"Better than I was." She muttered before looking up and noticing the paper in Mr Jordan's hands. "My results... but how? I thought I had to wait another few hours."

"Pure chance. I was in the lab when your results were bought in. I told the technicians to put a rush on those and get them to me ASAP." Replied Mr Jordan smartly. #

Sam moved so she was sitting on the edge of her seat, a list of terrifying scenarios running through her mind.

"So… what's wrong with me?" Sam asked, squeezing her eyes shut and praying to the skies to let there be nothing.

"You're results say apart from a slight dip in your blood sugar levels, nothing and even that's nothing to worry about."

Sam stared at him for several seconds, allowing the relief she felt to wash over her in an attempt to help it sink in.

"I'm.. fine? No infections? Nothing?" Sam asked, scarcely daring to believe it.

Tess nodded. "You're fine Sam, and I have a cure for your blood sugar too."

As Sam watched Tess rummage around in her pocket for something she was half expecting her to bring out some kind of tablet, and almost laughed when she bought out a bar of Cadburys Dairy milk chocolate.

Sam took the bar and ate it in about a minute flat, enjoying the taste of the half melted chocolate coupled with the sudden feeling of her head clearing.

"Feel better?" Zoe asked with an amused expression as she watched Sam demolish the chocolate.

Sam nodded vigorously, her head bobbing like a child before allowing a wide grin to plaster itself over her face for the first time in days.

She sat there in silence for a moment, allowing a new feeling of freedom to settle on her skin before normality start to kick in, and she felt the need to ask about _him. _

"So was there anything wrong with him?" Sam asked, a slight shadow returning to her eyes.

"No, but her was very lucky considering he did tell us that he had shared needles." Jordan replied. "He's in police custody now anyways."

Sam nodded. Not even the fact the bastard had nothing to make him suffer could dampen her cheerful mood. For the first time in days she felt as though she could really breathe again.


	20. Chapter 20: Three words

_**Sorry I haven't updated in a while I had the worst case of writer's block and I'm starting school again in little over a week… I will try and get out more updates soon but it won't be frequently. **_

_**Thanks for all the reviews so far! :)**_

…

After a cheerful conversation with Tess and Jordan followed by a change of her bandages and a good night's sleep, Sam almost felt ready to face the day's challenges. As she slid her legs off of the bed and onto the floor without a single dig from her ribs she realized that the strange repeated dream she had been having wasn't present last night.

She smiled slightly as she discovered she was able to get dressed with little or no pain and even get her jacket over her still heavily bruised shoulders. However she did frown slightly at the turban like bandage around her head.

As she stepped out of her room she heard Zoe's voice, and walked into the lounge just as she finished a conversation with DI Tyler.

"…So he's still saying he didn't do anything… what about the other women he tried to attack... She's refusing to make a statement? Will that effect Sam's case?… Oh ok…will she have to come down and ID him? As soon as possible? ...yes that's fine … ok thank you... bye."

"I have to go back down there?" Sam asked, her good mood taking a slight downturn.

"Yes I'm sorry Sam but they need you to ID him since he's refusing to make a confession." Zoe replied as her look of concern returned.

Sam stood there for a moment, letting the prospect of seeing the one who hurt her sink in but felt something different along the tightrope walk to the end of the usual trail of fear and worry. It was the same feeling she'd felt a couple of times in the army, when forced to go into a dangerous situation she would turn to her sheer determination to pull her through and when that kicked in, nothing could stop her from getting to where she needed to be.

Sam rearranged her scared features into the same determined expression that usually helped her concentrate and felt the usually buzz of energy and power it gave her, albeit a little weaker than what she was used to.

"When do we have to leave?" Sam asked loudly in the hope that her voice didn't sound shaky.

"Well.. as soon as you've eaten something and taken your medication would be fine." Zoe replied, and grinned slightly as Sam rolled her eyebrows after the word medication.

After a short breakfast and a reluctant swing of water coupled with an array of tablets Sam found herself being led by the hand into Zoe's car.

The drive was short, too short for Sam's liking. She found her stomach returning to its usual knotted up formation as she neared the station. Zoe glanced over several times during the journey, before breaking the tension with the usual sentence.

"You ok?"

Sam rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, making it clear what the answer was.

"Sorry."

The minute or so of awkward silence that followed lasted them right up until they travelled through the gates which shielded the police car park.

As they parked Sam became aware of the tall blonde form of DI Tyler standing at the entrance, her eyes transfixed on the car. Sam jumped slightly as Zoe slammed the car door shut and kept her eyes trained on the DI as Zoe moved around the car to open the door nearest to her.

Sam tore her gaze away from the DI momentarily to ease her stiff legs out of the car and stand up, before returning her gaze to the woman who was now marching across the car park towards them both.

With every step she took Sam could feel the knot in her stomach tightening until the last moment where they were standing a mere metre away from her. Sam lowered her gaze at this point in an unsuccessful attempt to hide the pit of fear.

"Hi again." Di Tyler said softly after taking Zoe's proffered hand and giving it a firm shake. "You alright Sam?"

Sam raised her head stared at the women, terrified eyes meeting a concerned gaze. For a moment she felt like her legs had turned to nothing, as though she could collapse onto the floor and all that would be left of her legs was a puddle of water. But only for a moment.

For then after that moment had passed the strength she had been craving returned to her once more, and she felt the need to run through the police doors and throttle one particular inhabitant. Her watery eyes solidified into the sheer determination that burned within her and the knots on her stomach relaxed then twisted into something far different, the courage and confidence she craved so she could survive.

Confident her mind and body were not going to fail her, she answered.

"Let's do this."

The DI stared at her for a moment with confusion before smiling as she at last registered the expression that was on Sam's face as determination.

"Ok then, follow me." She said in both an impressed and surprised tone.

As they headed through the double doors and took yet another maze of corridors until they reached an unmarked white door and stepped over the threshold.

Sam stared around her in slight surprise for she had been expecting a line of men standing against a wall but instead found a room painted dark grey with a single glass window.

"We had tried to take his photo but so far he's proved less than cooperative, so we're forced to resort to older methods…" DI Tyler explained as Sam stared around the room. "If you look through the glass you'll see him now, but he can't see you."

Sam stared at the glass which was embedded in the wall opposite her as though it had betrayed her in some way. From the angle she was looking through she could not see his face, just his shoulder. But something was wrong.

She approached the window slowly, as if expecting him to jump out and grab her once more. She stared at the ragged features of the man before her, he clearly hadn't shaved in a couple of days and his piercing gaze almost appeared to penetrate the window. Though Sam could plainly see something the others couldn't she couldn't help but let out a terrified gasp.

Zoe instinctively moved to comfort her but was motioned back by DI Tyler with a look. Sam had to identify him unaided.

Sam sighed and took a deep calming breath and looked to the two people staring at her.

She could see DI Tyler's head running through court dates and statements, and a decent defence while Zoe appeared to want to rush to Sam's side and hold her in a tight embrace.

As Sam opened her mouth she became aware of her dry lips and ragged breathing, and took several deep breaths after licking her lips. She opened her mouth once more, and closed it again, cocking her head to one side and blinking her eyes rapidly.

She opened her mouth once more and allowed the three words no one wanted to hear to spill out.

"I-It's not him…."


	21. Chapter 21: Only explanation

Sam had been sitting on Zoe's sofa for hours now, barely moving. Zoe was busy bustling around her, telling everyone involved how the man they thought was Sam's rapist wasn't. She had no idea how the man that was in the black car, the man who had attacked another woman wasn't the man who had attacked her, but it simply wasn't.

She had been staring at the same patch of ceiling for ages now, though she wasn't really looking at it. She was watching the images of him run through her mind, her real attacker. He didn't look unlike the scruffy unshaven man that had stood before her but it definitely wasn't him. They had amazingly similar facial features for sure but still... Something was different about this man and the man that had attacked her.

For a start the man she had seen today looked scruffy, as though he hadn't seen a bath in days whereas the man that had hurt her looked like he lived in a posh house along with that fancy black car of his and his clicking shoes.

Unbeknownst to Sam, Zoe had finished talking on the phone with the final person on her calling list and had moved so she stood over Sam on the sofa. Sam was only roused from her dark daydreams by a gentle touch to the shoulder to which she still jerked away wildly.

"Sorry!" Zoe said as she took a seat beside her.

"It's fine." Muttered Sam clearly wishing to return to those dark thoughts.

"How about you go upstairs and get some sleep, at least you may feel a little fresher." Zoe suggested, placing a hand gently back on her shoulder.

Sam glanced over at the clock and sighed. It was 5:30pm.

She stood up quickly, causing Zoe to hastily withdraw her hand as she crossed the room in a few strides and walked over to her temporary bed before collapsing in it with al her clothes still on.

Sam stared at the ceiling once more and sighed. She allowed her mind to wind it's way back to the thoughts that had been troubling her for the last few hours and allowed herself to be once again taken back to before that night as her eyes slowly shut, forcing her into an uncomfortable dream.

_Sam ran down the corridor and burst through the recess doors, allowing them to swing back into place behind her. She stared for a moment at her next patient: a young girl who had to be about five. She may have come from the army and had seen countless children injured in bomb blasts and caught in the crossfire of the army and the Taliban but that never made it easier. _

_Zoe motioned her impatiently to the opposite side of the gurney to help pull over the injured child onto the hospital bed. On Dixie's count Sam leaned over and helped the others pull the child over before swiftly unbuckling the straps that held her onto the spinal board and sliding it out from beneath her tiny frame. _

_Sam moved quickly, shining a small torch into her eyes and sighing exasperatedly._

"_Left pupil's blown!" Sam shouted over the din of nurses bustling around equipment. _

"_Linda! Chest and head CT now!" Zoe barked at the blonde nurse. _

_Linda quickly ran past Jeff and Dixie who were standing at the end of the bed with matching worried expressions._

"_What happened?!" Sam asked them in a slightly higher voice than she normally used._

"_RTC... a cargo lorry travelled down a side street and had to swerve to avoid hitting a car that was coming out of a driveway and instead hit this girl, we've got no ID. No one seemed to know who she is" Jeff replied sadly. _

_Sam nodded looked over his shoulder at the smartly dressed man staring at her through the double doors with a peculiar expression. _

"_Who's that? The father?" Sam asked, nodding towards the door. _

_Zoe glanced over. "What? No one's there!" _

_Sam glanced over again and frowned at the empty window. "But…"_

"_Oh never mind! Sam see if you can find any ID in her clothes." Zoe snapped as she and Tess turned the girl over to look for back injuries. _

_Sam walked over quickly to the clothing that was in a pile at the end of her bed and began rifling through it just as the scene started to dissolve. She edges of her vision started to ebb away, disintegrating into a thick black fog which clouded her mind. Sam wanted t cry out as the very last speck of sight disappeared but instead found herself staring a another kaleidoscope of colours, which were beginning to form a new image. _

_At first sound returned to her, or more precisely the clinking of coffee cups as Sam sat in the living chair that resided in the staff room. Sam was resting her head in her hands and as the image of the living room slowly bled into her vision she became aware that someone was offering her coffee. Tom. _

"_Mm? Oh thanks." Sam replied, snapping herself out of the daydream she found herself in. _

"_Thinking about that girl?" Tom asked, staring at her with a concerned expression. _

_Sam nodded and stared at the black coffee she had accepted. _

"_How are you coping?" Asked Zoe from behind, pouring herself a coffee also. _

"_I've seen kids injured before... but no matter how many you see it never gets easier." Sam replied with a deep sigh. _

"_No, Sam I mean how are you coping now Dylan's gone?" Zoe asked, to which Sam responded with a roll of her eyes. _

"_Zoe we're divorced. Why would I care where he's gone?" Sam replied coldly, hoping they wouldn't catch how blatant a lie it was. _

"_Being divorced from someone doesn't mean you no longer care about them, or love them…" Tom countered. _

_Sam sighed angrily and downed her coffee in one drink, before standing up quickly. _

"_I have patients. You coming?" _

"_No I still have 20 minutes of my break." Replied Zoe. _

"_Same here." Added Tom. "And so do you." _

"_I'm fine; I need to wake up a bit anyway." Sam said after giving them an obviously forced smile and stepping out of the staffroom. _

_Except instead of heading towards the cubicles she headed outside and leaned against the wall, taking several deep breaths in an attempt to calm the seething anger that was writhing around her stomach. _

_When she next opened her eyes she saw two men standing directly in her eye line, one short with a load of stubble on his face, the other very smartly dressed. With a gasp Sam recognised him as the man from earlier, the same man who had been peering in on the little girl. _

_She made to step forward and talk to him, but felt an arm hook around on of her own and pull her back. _

"_Oi! What do you think your- Zoe leave me alone." Sam finished despondently. _

"_Not so fast. We need to talk." Zoe replied. "If Dylan not being here is getting in the way of you being able to do your job then-"_

"_That's not getting in the way of me doing my job, but you sure as hell are! You see those two men over there? Well one of them is the one I saw looking in on that girl this morning." _

"_Sam nice try but there's only one man there." Zoe replied triumphantly. "Now come back inside it's freezing out here-"_

_Sam wasn't listening. She pulled her arm out of Zoe's grip and strode over to the man that was left, ignoring his startled look at having a doctor march up to him in such a confrontational way. _

"_Where is the man that you were talking to just now?" Sam demanded angrily. _

"_What? I... I um... I don't know" The man replied, shuffling around and scratching his forehead. _

"_Sam don't be so rude! –I'm sorry sir- Come inside now!" Zoe shouted, grabbing Sam's upper arm and marching her inside. _

_Just as Sam got to the double doors to get inside she saw him. He was leaning against a nearby wall, watching her with that same unreadable expression. _

_Suddenly everything went black once more, but instead of the original image ebbing away it quickly faded out until Sam found herself staring at the inside of her own eyelids. _

Sam sat bolt upright in bed and let out a startled cry. The faces, _those men! _Suddenly everything made sense.

The man in police custody wasn't the man who attacked her, but he did know who did. The resemblance was undeniable. One rough looking with and unkempt look about him, the other clean with freshly shaved skin and a smart about him. But nothing short of plastic surgery could change the similar bone structure or face shape.

They were brothers.


	22. Chapter 22: Loitering foe

Sam pushed herself up off the bed and stood slowly, trying to ignore the fact the painkillers had long since worn off. Her legs shook like she was eighty as she turned to glance at the clock. Just gone midnight.

Sam allowed a whimper to escape her as she took her first step, waves of pain shooting up her legs and winding around her ribs and chest. At this rate she was going to collapse before she reached the door which was standing ajar about three paces away. She took another experimental step and this time held in any audible response, hoping to trick her mind into focussing on something other than the pain.

After taking the next two steps felt like crying out, but the pain appeared to have taken her voice. She could only just move her legs, and her arms were too stiff to move properly so she was forced to use her now screaming legs to kick the door further open and shuffle out.

Sam chanced raising her head and noticed the hunched form of Zoe sitting at a table in front of a window in the lounge and let out a shaky sigh. Zoe's bedroom was a lot closer, which was where Sam was hoping she was going to be to save her walking the equivalent of the marathon with her painful limbs.

As she walked Sam tried to put her mind to a different place, thinking of anything and everything except that night or him to keep her mind off of the pain, but even though she was distracted I was still agony.

By the time she reached the doorway to the lounge she was completely out of breath, and would be doubled up if that would not have caused her further pain. Luckily for her her breathing was heavy enough to rouse Zoe out of whatever late night daydream she was trapped in.

"Sam? _Sam!" _ Zoe shouted as she hurried over, her heels making their usual clicking sound.

Zoe grabbed her upper arm and together they made it to the couch just before Sam's knees gave way and she collapsed on the seat.

"Sam what's wrong?" Zoe asked as she peeled her eyelids back in turn and gazed into her eyes.

Sam's lips were pretty much stuck together and try as she might she couldn't seem to produce any sound other than a high pitch wheezing. So instead she communicated another way. She moved her head upwards as close as her stiff neck would allow to the clock and raised her eyes brows several times, signalling Zoe to look.

"Time… Oh your meds!" Zoe exclaimed as she caught on.

Sam listened to Zoe's clopping heels as she hurried of to grab the array of tablets along with a glass of water. When she returned she gently eased Sam's mouth open and placed the tablets on her tongue, before holding the glass up to her lips and pouring a little of the water down her gullet.

Sam swallowed on reflex and found the water instantly cured her of her inability to speak, the cool liquid running down her dry throat giving her more relief than the tablets were.

"Feeling better?" Zoe asked after several minutes.

"Yeah, thanks." Sam replied, giving her a weak smile.

"Sam... That was very dangerous. If you had collapsed and I hadn't known then who knows-"

"Zoe I remembered something." Sam interjected, a dark look forming on her face.

"What?" Zoe asked as she sat up on the chair, instantly alert.

Sam took a deep breath and stared at Zoe for a moment. That same odd sense of foreboding had crept up on her, and the voice in her head that kept taking control of her was ordering her to say quiet. For a brief second she listened to it, before turning it out of her mind and opening her mouth to speak.

"The man who attacked me… I think he might have been related to the man the police have for attacking that other girl. I- I think they might be brothers."

Zoe stared at her like she had gone mad.

"Sam... There was only one man at the hospital. And you said that he was the one who attacked you, and that man was the man that's in police custody for assaulting _another _woman." Zoe countered.

"No, there were two. The man in custody is the one you and everyone else saw, and the smartly dressed man was the one who attacked me." Sam replied, trying her utmost to get her point across.

"Sam you said the man who attacked you was wearing a hoodie and how comes only you saw him, it's a hospital for gods sakes, everyone seeing everyone else!"

"Look I'm telling you it's the same guy and I don't know how that's possible but it is! I tried pointing him out to you in recess but when you looked over no one was there! Plus his hoodie was big; he could have been wearing that suit under the hoodie!"

"Sam... This all sounds a little far-fetched to me. You're saying that there were two men who are possibly brothers, one of which attacked you and coincidently no one else saw him other than you and the other one who everyone saw didn't attack you. Do you realize how insane that sounds?"

"Insane or not it's what happened! Zoe please-"

"Wait a minute… What exactly was this smartly dressed guy wearing?"

"A black suit, light blue shirt and a black tie with dark brown shoes, why?" Sam replied, frowning slightly.

"What colour hair?"

"It was either dark brown or black… Zoe what's going on?"

"I _did _see him..." Zoe muttered.

As Sam watched Zoe went paler and paler, and yet again an odd sense of foreboding had crept down her spine.

"Zoe what is it?" Sam asked, though unsure of whether or not she wanted to hear the answer.

"The man you described fits the exact description of a man I told off for flirting with a couple of nurses about two or three days before you were attacked... he had a big bag with what I thought was a blue jacket in it and was asking me where to find a female doctor..." Zoe quickly ran through the description he had given her in her head. "He was asking me about you."

"So he knows me somehow…" Sam muttered as a shudder worked its way up her spine.


	23. Chapter 23: Defense

Sam and Zoe had been sitting on the sofa about half an hour, awaiting the arrival of DI Tyler who had agreed to come out on the basis that they had some "new information". The following silence as they waited was occasionally broken by a car being driven lazily down the street or Sam moving her legs across the ground to ward away cramp.

When at last the bell rang it was almost a relief to Sam, but the ever present reminder of what she was about to divulge was enough of an influence on her mind not to sigh in relief now that awkward silence had finally been broken.

She listened for a moment to the familiar clopping of Zoe's shoes across the wooden hallway floor, and the brief welcoming that was given before turning and facing the two people looking down on her from the doorway to the lunge.

Sam attempted a smile, but her lips were dry and cracked so in reality it looked more like a grimace. DI Tyler stepped forwards first and took a seat gently next to Sam and gave her a friendly smile, but she eyed her warily all the same.

"I understand some new information has come to light about your attack." DI Tyler said gently, swiping a lock of blonde hair out of her eyes with a finger.

"Y-yes." Squeaked Sam as the bubble of nerves in her stomach resurfaced.

Zoe moved and perched herself on the arm of the sofa next to Sam, and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Ok Sam, when you're ready just explain as much as you can to me."

Sam inhaled deeply, filling up every square inch of her lungs and released the breath slowly. She allowed the calming sensation this bought her to linger for a moment before snapping her mind back to the present.

"I um… we figured something about er... Him…" Sam stammered, wringing her suddenly sweaty hands.

"Ok, what did you figure out?" DI Tyler asked calmly as she pulled out her notepad and pen and began scribbling.

"The man who you have in custody… I think he's the brother of the man w-who…"

Sam closed her eyes and let out a frustrated moan. She still couldn't relinquish the power the word "rape" had on her.

"Brother?! How did you figure that out?" DI Tyler asked with raised eyebrows.

Sam took a shaky breath and shook her head, looking pleadingly in Zoe's direction to answer while she attempted to regain some of her bravado.

"Sam saw him and his brother standing outside earlier that day. Only thing is she was the only one who saw the guy who attacked her, all we saw was his brother."

"How's that possible? I mean aren't hospitals busy pretty much all the time?" DI Tyler asked with a frown.

"Yes they are, and I'm pretty _someone _must have saw him that day but we did have a lot of agency staff working around the hospital and I'm presuming most of them would be gone by now. Though if it helps, I did see him two days before." Zoe replied.

"You did? What happened?"

"I was on my way up to AAU to give hand a patient's notes over when I saw him flirting with two of the agency nurses, I told them off and rounded on him, but he kept apologizing and asked me where he could find a women of Sam's description."

"And did you tell him where Sam was at the time?"

"I wasn't working that day." Sam muttered as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.

"Did you see him at any other time before the attack?" the DI asked as she scribbled down this nugget of information.

"No, that was the only time I saw him." Zoe replied. "What are you thinking?"

"Well I'm willing to bet that there was some kind of pre meditation, Sam can you think of anyone at all who would want to hurt you?"

"I can't be sure." She muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"I was an army medic, it could have been someone who had a grudge on me from the army." Sam replied. "and I accidently broke Keith Parr's neck after he threatened another Doctor but I was cleared of any charges"

"Could Mr. Parr have had anything to do with it?" DI Tyler asked.

"I doubt it." Zoe said with a snort. "Last I heard he had lung cancer."

"What about any friends or family relatives he has?"

"Not sure…" Muttered Sam.

"Well, we'll look into this, thank you." DI Tyler replied as she stood up.

Sam stared at her legs as DI Tyler headed to the door with Zoe, not wanting to show the concoction of confusion and pain that was circulating her mind. With every breath she took the pain she was feeling grew until she felt like she was going to explode.

If she hadn't been looking down she may have noticed the look of anger that had been slowly forming on Zoe's face.

"That's it?" Zoe asked with a tinge of outrage.

"That's what?" DI Tyler replied with a confused expression.

"That's all you're going to do?" Zoe muttered with a death stare.

"That's all we can do for now." Replied the detective with a sympathetic smile.

"That's _all? _All you've done is file paper and arrested the wrong guy!" Zoe shouted as her temper rose.

"Zoe calm-" Began DI Tyler as she raised her hands as if to ward off a blow.

"No I will not _calm down! _Who do you think I am? One of the youths you lot spend the entire time arresting?"

"Zoe please! -"

"No! You didn't find her nearly frozen to death on the ground after someone had brutally attacked her! You didn't have to find her sitting on the top of the stairs about to throw herself down them because reality didn't quite have the same definition to her as it had to you and me! You didn't-"

"Zoe _stop_! Please!" Sam screeched.

Zoe and DI Tyler spun around, and came face to face with a Sam's tear strained face.


	24. Chapter 24: Erasing the past

_**I start school again on Tuesday and I don't know when I'll be updating again... it may be next weekend but I can't be certain. **_

_**I thought I'd do something different with this chapter, it's time we meet Sam's attacker. **_

…

"Sam I'm sorry... I didn't mean to upset you I was just trying to protect you…" Zoe said sadly, reaching a soothing hand forward but soon found it warned away with a look.

Zoe and DI Tyler had stared at Sam several seconds before answering, unsure of what to make of the sudden outburst. Sam was now staring at them wide eyed, fresh tears falling down the channels on her face.

She next shook her head from side to side, as if trying to dislodge something from insider her ear. After she was finished shaking she took a deep breath and a long swallow, before impatiently brushing the tears off of her face and facing them once more.

"I don't know what came over me…"

"Why don't we sit down?" DI Tyler suggested sweetly.

Sam nodded and allowed Zoe to lead her back to the couch along with the police officer, who took a seat next to her while Zoe stood watching.

"What happened?" Zoe asked as the hint of anger at the sight of DI Tyler slowly abated.

"I don't know… All I could feel was pain… in my head." Sam muttered with a haunted look.

"Pain... in your head?"

…

To anyone walking down the same street as him, he may look a little shifty. A hood was drawn up over his forehead, his hands thrust deep into the pockets of the jacket he was wearing. But in reality those passers-by had no idea.

He crossed the side street he had just turned down with very little difficulty, pausing only to give a particularly rude driver a hand gesture that summed up his reply. After listening to the particularly foul language that spilled out of the driver's mouth he took a theatrical bow and continued on down the street.

He was following his brother's directions, so knew to scan ever side turning for its road name to ensure that he was still going the right way. Everyone who knew his brother knew that his sense of direction was about as useful as the time that he had just wasted listening to the foul mouthed driver.

After several more turnings he found himself on Sandown Road, and quickly hurried towards the alleyway his brother was located in. It was starting to get dark now, but his brother still appeared to notice him roll his eyes at the sight of his fancy black car in plain view.

"Quit complaining, at least we have a getaway vehicle if the police come down here." He said in his usual husky tones.

"Whatever. Just show me the place." Came the reply.

His brother guided him further down the road until they were standing outside an alleyway surrounded by large plastic cones and yellow police tape. He took a moment to stare around in the gloom before stooping under the tape and staring at the blood on the wall.

"Nice." He commented as he pointed to it. "Where did she go from here?"

"I don't know. I left." Came the hoarse reply.

"Idiot. Get me the spray." He barked, his voice echoing around the alleyway.

He listened for a moment to the sound of his brother rummaging through the boot of his car, no doubt sifting through the years of dirt and junk that had accumulated in the car they inherited. During the wait they had, a streetlamp flickered to life for a moment before dying again.

For a moment he stared at the patch of ground and wondered if he'd done the right thing leading his brother to that doctor after all.

As his brother waddled over he noticed the change in his expression and sighed.

"You dog me in; I'll tell the police everything I know about that girl you tried it on with." He said in a more devious tone.

He sighed and grabbed the spray turning around to spray the wall and watch the patch of blood dissolve into nothingness.

"You were the one holding her arms down, moron." He replied as he turned back to him. "If you hadn't let go at the last second she wouldn't have stabbed me in the chest with that damn needle."

"Why did you go for her anyway? She wasn't nearly as hot as that doctor."

"She was an easy target, besides, that doctor was supposed to be mine." He countered slyly.

"You said she was up for it, and hell yeah she was!" He almost shouted giving him full view of his uneven teeth as his mouth peeled back into a grin.

"Ssh! Yeah maybe so but you shouldn't have been so rough!" He hissed as he pulled his brother further into the alleyway. "You should have got her drunk first, then she wouldn't have fought so much!"

"So she got a few broken bones… big deal! She'll be fine in a few weeks and she'll probably get her fella doting over her while she recovers. All you got to is get rid of the evidence then were both free as a bird!"

…

Sam had collapsed on the floor, clawing at her chest as her throat closed up yet again. She felt Zoe and DI Tyler's hands on her arms and back, desperately trying to calm her.

"Sam I'm sorry! I thought you'd be able to handle the truth!"

"What... do you mean.." Sam wheezed as she turned herself around to face the police officer.

"Hold her still while I get a paper bag!" Zoe shouted form the kitchen.

"Sam please try and take a deep breath!"

"What…. What do you mean you may not... find him?"


	25. Chapter 25: Internalizing

**Soo.. after doing a mountain of sociology homework I thought I'd kill my brain and write this… I hope it flows ok!**

…

Sam sat on the chair near the window in her room while Zoe had fussed over her. To Sam it felt like she had been bought enough water to fill a swimming pool and enough food to feed Africa for a year. To Zoe it felt like the only thing she could do to help, and for that reason Sam didn't turn away anything she was offered.

It had been several hours since she had had yet another panic attack and though the majority of the shock had gone through her system she still felt that knot of fear writhing around in her stomach.

As she watched the sun poke over the top of a nearby estate block she sighed and cringed as the light hit her eyes. She could still feel the black spot in her head every time she slept, and though Zoe had no idea about this she still didn't push the issue of sleep past mentioning it every now and then.

She stood up slowly and managed stumble her way towards the door, the pain medication relieving her of any pain she may or may not have been feeling otherwise.

Today was the day of the hospital check up, and Sam had several military style ideas of how she was planning to get into the hospital without running into any one she knew. Zoe had already assured her that she would take her through a back entrance over the other side of the hospital in the hope that no one from ED would see her, other than Tess who was going to help Zoe with the examination.

As Sam leaned on the doorway and watched Zoe busy herself with breakfast, a phone call and various items to clean the house with she began to wonder if life would ever go back to normal for her.

She had been ordered to focus on her own recovery instead of on where he might me by both Zoe and DI Tyler, but still felt deeply unnerved by this latest turn of events. She had decided to internalize that until a later date however, so Zoe didn't worry about her anymore than she was already.

Everything still felt unreal, as though the last three weeks had been a dream but the thin line of the knife scar acted as the only thing grounding her to the thin strip of reality she felt herself drifting in and out of.

"Morning." Zoe said as she looked up just as the phone call finished and motioned her to a seat.

Sam gave a nod in reply and took the proffered seat around the now de- cluttered breakfast table. She stared over at the kitchen where the smell of toast was wafting over to her from before resting her gaze on the phone in Zoe's hand.

"Who was that?"

"Nick, he wants to know how you're doing." Zoe replied as she placed it back in her pocket.

"And what did you say?" Sam asked, unable to keep the tinge of fear out of her voice.

"I said you were recovering." Zoe replied as she placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I'll give you breakfast in a moment then we better head up to the hospital"

Sam nodded again and watched as Zoe disappeared into the kitchen, and spent several moments listening to the sounds of plates bashing against each other and a knife scraping something on toasted bread.

Several moments later Zoe appeared with a plate and two pieces of toast with margarine in tow, and set them down in front of Sam, who ate ravenously, unaware up to that point how hungry she actually was.

"Seems like you have your appetite back! " Zoe observed as she sat across the table eating her own slices of toast with a mug of coffee.

Sam nodded a third time: not wanting to stop cramming food into her mouth until she had finished it all. When she finally had she set the plate back down and stared across the room at Zoe, who was staring back at her with concern in her eyes.

"You not going to eat?" Sam asked politely as she lowered her gaze.

"Lost my appetite... besides we need to get you to the hospital." Zoe replied as she drained the last of her coffee mug and took both the plates away.

The journey to the hospital was short, but again to Sam it felt like an eternity. She stared out of the window for the most part, but quickly glanced away if she caught any other car drivers staring back at her, or if she saw anyone that resembled him in the slightest possible way.

When they did at last reach the car park Sam stared around her and sighed, remembering the last couple of times she had seen this place. Zoe leaned over Sam and unlocked the door, before leaning back and staring at her with a reassuring smile.

"Right… we'll just get you in and- crap get down!" Zoe hissed the last part quickly and urgently motioned Sam to get below the window frame, just as someone knocked on the glass.

"Mornin'… where've you been?" Linda asked, staring at her with some confusion.

"Hi Linda... I've been busy er…family crisis." Zoe replied.

"I thought you said you didn't have a-"

"They got back in touch." Zoe interjected irritably.

"Zoe... is everything alrigh-"

"No! I'm busy! Get into work and I'll see you there!" Zoe replied angrily.

"Zoe... what's that?" Linda asked suddenly, pointing to theback of Sam's coat which was sticking up at her. "I think it moved!"

"Linda it's nothing now just-"

Too late.

Linda had pulled opened the car door and poked Sam in the back, causing her to let out a startled cry and raise her head reproachfully, only ot be bought face to face with Linda.

At first she said nothing, instead staring at her co worker's face as though she had never seen her before. After a while her mouth began to work once more, and it formed three words.

"Oh my god."

Then after a moment of staring she comprehended who it was, and more precisely the various cuts on her face, the turban- like bandage still wrapped around her head and the thin knife scar on her neck.

As she took a deep breath Sam and Zoe both noticed the surprise on her face turning to horror, and her finding it physically difficult to form the words that were on the tip of her tongue.

"W-w-what... happened?"

As Sam glanced at her broken fingers, and then raised a hand to touch the turban on her head and ran a finger along the knife scar. As she did this she suddenly became aware that no lie was going to cover this up, nothing ever could.

"Linda…"

Sam took a long swallow before completing the sentence, hoping that this may be the first time she uttered these words without a prominent shake in her voice.

"I was raped."


	26. Chapter 26: Day of reckoning

_**I'll try and update again a bit later in the week but I'm making no promises, Alevels are keeping me extremely busy.**_

…

Sam couldn't look up.

She had been sitting in a private room for about ten minutes now, Linda rubbing her back as Tess not so subtly attempted to get her out of the room. As much as she tried, she couldn't bring herself to care. Though to the people in the room it appeared she was staring at her lap, in reality she was running through a list of worse case scenarios. This day could spell the end of her career.

As soon as Tess had told her she felt like someone had dropped a pile of bricks on her head, and she was about to collapse into the hospital floor where she stood. She had to see a counsellor, who had to deem her fit for work if she was ever going to return. The appointment was in three hours.

She had had several panic attacks, nightmares, and felt like a black spot was eating away at the back of her head. She hadn't slept properly in weeks, and every time she looked at one of her injuries a cold shiver went down her spine. In her mind there was a 100% chance of her getting put on a permanent leave of absence.

As Tess stuck a needle into her arm full of painkillers for moving fingers which had been bound bandages for four weeks was going to be painful she didn't even flinch.

She was dimly aware of Zoe telling her she was going to take the bandages off, and gave a distant nod to this but still found herself trapped in another place.

"Sam can you move your fingers for me?" Tess's patient- nurse voice broke through the cloud of darkness that was beginning to shroud her head.

She nodded and began to flex her fingers, flinching slightly at the pain that was quickly quenched by the painkillers in her system.

"Ok well the X-ray results we took today have just come in and it looks like the breaks have healed sufficiently enough for you to be able to use them again, and your head CT has come back clear also." Zoe said as she glanced over the results. "Your ribs are fine as well, looks like we can take this mountain of bandages off of you at last.

Sam nodded and gave a weak smile to the gentle squeeze around the shoulder Linda gave her.

"See? You'll be back in no time." She said encouragingly.

"Somehow I doubt that. There's no way I'm going to be a clean bill of mental health." Sam muttered in reply.

"You don't need a clean bill of health; you need to be in recovery." Tess reminded her from across the room where she was taking a look at the scan results for herself.

Sam nodded once more and accepted the hug Linda agave her gratefully.

"Now we're just going to get this gown off and gently unwind the bandages around your ribs, ok?" Zoe said sweetly as she reached over and untied the top of her gown.

Sam tried to ignore the startled gasp that had escaped Linda when she saw the network of scars and almost faded bruises all over her colleague's body, but quickly covered her shock by helping Zoe loosen up the bandages and giving Sam and encouraging smile every once in a while.

Sam stared at her for a moment, knowing exactly what was going to be going through her head as she did so. The same questions that she had had to answer about twenty times down at the station: what happened, who he was, did she know him…

Her trail of thought was broken by a loud ringing. As she cast around to source the sound, she realized it was coming from Zoe's pocket. As she watched Zoe pick up and answer her stomach began to do somersaults all over again.

"Hello? DI Tyler hi… We're at the hospital.. you're here too… we're on Jameson ward why? You think they did _what?! _Ok sure great. See you in a minute."

"What's happened?" Tess and Linda asked in unison.

"Looks like your attacker and his brother has attempted to do away with the evidence of the attack, they've cleaned up the alleyway."

"What?! Dos that mean there's no chance of catching them?" Sam exclaimed as she stood up, fastening her gown back around her.

"Luckily not, we collected all the evidence we needed earlier in the day." DI Tyler replied from the doorway.

Everyone in the room let out a sigh of relief and Sam sat back down, head in her hands.

"We've also identified a link with your attack and several other crimes in the area, and unfortunately for them they left their DNA all over that alleyway when they went to clean it." Continued DI Tyler as she moved to stand in front of them all.

"So does that mean you know who they are?" Zoe asked as she took Sam's hand.

"Unfortunately not, as there's no Record of their DNA on out system, but we can confirm they are brothers, 70% of their DNA is the same." Replied the DI.

Sam raised her head and gave a small nod, before lowering it again and heaving a sigh in an attempt to calm herself down.

"Have you got anything else?" Linda asked.

"I'm sorry, you are..?"

"Co Worker." Muttered Sam. "Do you?"

"No I'm afraid we don't at this time. Can I offer you a lift home?"

"Sam has a counselling appointment." Zoe replied sharply, making it clear she still wasn't over the argument they had had.

"I'll call you if there's any more news." DI Tyler said before leaving the room.

There was a brief pause after her departure which was broken by Sam's suddenly dark voice.

"I can't do this." Muttered Sam. "I can't keep living every day wondering what the next is going to throw at me… I need closure."

"Go and see the counsellor, tell her how you're feeling and see what she says." Zoe said gently.

"She?" Sam questioned, feeling like a fool for even mentioning it.

"Yes Dr Wilson is a woman. Don't worry about it; I see why that would be important to you." Zoe added comfortingly.

Sam nodded and raised her head, staring at the clock.

Two and a half hours to go.


	27. Chapter 27: The beginning of the end

_**When I started writing this chapter I just felt the need to post it ASAP. I'll try and update in the week; if not I'll update next weekend so long as nothing comes up between then and now. **_

…

Sam felt like a child who had been sent to the headmaster's office as she sat in a chair opposite the counsellor's desk. Dr Wilson was staring at her occasionally, before once more returning her gaze to the computer screen and typing for several seconds.

She looked like she had to be in her forties; maybe early fifties to Sam but her hair had already gone a light grey. It was done up in a bun and she was wearing something that resembled a granny's cardigan along with a pair half moon glasses.

"So, Sam I hear you've been through quite an ordeal over the past few weeks." She said the usual detached doctor- style way.

Sam nodded and looked down at her lap for the umpteenth time, unsure of what to say. It was obvious she had spent the last five minutes reading her file on the computer, meaning she knew everything that had happened.

For a moment she wished that Dr. Wilson had allowed Zoe and Linda to stay with her instead of telling them in a sharp, cold voice that they had to wait outside. But then again, maybe she didn't.

"How are you feeling?" Dr Wilson asked a little more gently.

A shrug. She didn't feel like saying anything to anyone about this, she just wanted the pit of sickness in her stomach to disappear.

With a sigh Dr Wilson took her glasses off and began to slowly clean with the handkerchief that was placed completely flat on the left hand side of her desk.

"How long have you been a Doctor, Sam?" She asked kindly.

Sam blinked in confusion at the question, before the medical side of her brain registered this as an old counsellor's trick: get the patient to open up about other aspects of their life before getting to the problem. She blinked several times before deciding to answer, regardless of the obvious trap.

"I was an army medic for about five years before I joined the ED last year." Sam replied, still staring at her lap.

"So, you're from the army? Well then I'm guessing you've had to offer a fellow soldier counselling if you noticed they were struggling."

Sam blinked in confusion once more before nodding.

"And what would you say to them?"

Sam blew out some air and stared at the counsellor, a small smile playing about her lips. Another tactic.

"I would tell them to open up and speak, because that's the only way they could get help." Sam replied.

"And don't you think that would apply to you?"

This struck a chord. A flicker of anger passed across her face and she stood up before speaking.

"With all due respect, I know what you're trying to do. I'm a Doctor also, the tricks you use to get other patients won't get me to speak." Sam said and while doing so was clearly battling to keep her emotions in check.

"Sam, I'm not trying to trick you into doing or saying anything. I am simply here to help. Tell me, do you want to go back to work?"

Sam sat down and sighed.

"Yes and no."

"Yes _and _no?"

"I saw the man w-who…. And his brother around the hospital a fair few times that day before he actually… you know." Sam said shakily and once again she moved her gaze to the floor.

"So you're worried you're going to see the man who raped you again?"

"Yes... I mean no I know I won't, her wouldn't dare come back here but I'm still afraid." She admitted.

"Sam it's natural to be afraid after something this traumatizing happens. You know this, don't you?"

"Yes... but it's… it's not just that."

"Then what is it?"

"It's going to sound stupid." Sam muttered as she shuffled her feet.

"Sam, I'm a counsellor, how many 'stupid' things do you think I've heard over the last 15 years?" She countered. "Just tell me."

"Sometimes, well, every time I sleep I feel like there is this black spot in my head, where everything I'm bad feeling I get goes. Sometimes it gets bigger and it feels like it's taking over me."

"In what way?"

"A few days after it first happened, I hallucinated that Zoe was him when she tried to help me after I tried to escape from the hospital." Sam replied, still shuffling her feet in a two and thro motion.

"Has this happened since?" The counsellor replied as she scribbled something down on a nearby notepad.

"A couple of times…" She replied. "Mostly at night. I keep getting panic attacks as well."

"Sam when was the last time you slept through the night without waking early?"

"The last time they gave me a sedative in the hospital."

"Did it help relax you?"

"Yeah it did for a while" She replied.

"I'm presuming you've been dwelling at lot on what happened."

"It's hard not to…" Sam muttered.

"Ok Sam I've made a decision. I'm writing you a prescription for some sleeping tablets and I'm giving you this." She said, as she handed her a slip of paper and a book.

Sam stood as she took the book, and turned it over to read the front page. It had an image of a woman doing a yoga position and the title 'yoga for beginners'.

"Yoga?" Sam said, unable to contain her surprise.

"Yes. I think you need to learn how to relax a little. I'll book you another appointment to see me in two weeks. In the mean time I suggest you get back to work."

"You're letting me back?" Sam repeated incredulously.

"Yes Sam, I think you need to face this fear head on. The sooner you get back into a routine the better."

…

_**Hint: There is a reason I've called this chapter the beginning of the end….**_


	28. Chapter 28: Fear and threats

_**I now have a plan written out for the entirety of the story (I only had up to two chapters time planned before) and I can tell you it's not going to finish in quite a while, I hope you don't mind waiting to see if I kill her off or not! **_

…

Sam had been standing in front of the mirror for a full forty minutes now, attempting to sort her untameable hair. She had tried an array of brushes and a large helping of hairspray but nothing appeared to be helping. She had ten minutes before they were due to leave, and she was still in her pyjamas.

With a snarl she threw the seventh hairbrush and the second bottle of hairspray on the bed and stormed away from the mirror before letting out a roar as her hair flopped back into her eyes for the tenth time.

"Sam? You alright?" Zoe called from outside the door.

"Yeah fine, I'll be out in a minute." Sam replied flatly as she scrabbled around in the wardrobe for her usual work attire.

She was dimly aware of the 'ok' Zoe shouted in reply as she pulled a top over her head and done up a belt on a pair of jeans. She made a note that she needed to eat more, as her belt now fitted round her on the smallest hole with a small gap still present.

As she once again made her way over to the mirror Zoe knocked softly on the door once more. For some reason Sam found this more irritating than the normal sounding knock and failed ot keep the now creeping anger out of her voice.

"_What?" _

"Sam can I come in?" Zoe asked gently.

Sam sighed as she listened to the friendly tone in Zoe's voice and suddenly felt bad for her hostile one. She stared at her face properly for the first time all morning, focusing on the part of her face she had been ignoring for the most part of her mirror staring: her eyes.

There were large bags under them even though she had had a full night's sleep, her most obvious sign of stress. She couldn't feel the pit of nerves in her stomach because of her minutely dulled senses from the sleeping tablets still circulating in her system.

But worse than the bags was the dullness that sat in her eyes. Even as she stared she could feel the doubts circulating once more, and a voice warning her away from the job she had come to love before all hell had broke loose.

She physically shook herself to snap out of that mindset and sighed before turning to the door.

"Yeah, sure." She replied in the most even voice she could manage.

Zoe slowly opened the door that stood between them with a creek and entered slowly. She looked at Sam with a sigh pointed at her hair.

"Can I?" She said as she indicated on her own head what she wanted to do.

Sam nodded and turned to face the mirror, watching as Zoe expertly twisted and pulled her hair into a ponytail before tying it with the hair band on her wrist. She then placed her hands on Sam's shoulders and turned her around.

"Are you sure you want to do this today? I mean I can arrange for you to have some more time off if you don't think you can handle this."

"Zoe... If I don't go back now I'm scared I never will."

…

He glared at the television with a look of pure hate. A new bulletin had just blared out in his brother's living room telling them the last thing they wanted to hear.

"You have got to be kidding me." He said at last through gritted teeth.

His brother was sitting in the living chair next to him knawing his nails like there was no tomorrow. For a moment he stared at him and sighed. Those muscles bulging out of his arms did nothing to toughen the inside of his head.

With a slight growl he ran through the new report in his head, picturing the old women with the blouse on running through the morning news. It had said 'the crime scene of a rape in the Wyvern area has been completely cleaned by an unknown man, the police released a statement earlier this afternoon stating this will not affect their investigation as they had already sent forensic scientists to the scene earlier that day.' After that it had moved onto some other story about a man and a dog, at which point he had turned off the tv.

"What do we do?" His brother asked with a pathetic shake in his voice.

He sighed again and stood up, staring at his nail-knawing brother with a disgusted look on his face.

"What do you mean _we?" _He said with a smirk.

"You were the one who-"

"I think you'll find you're the one who raped that slut. I had nothing to do with this."

"You helped me cover it up."

"On the news report it said an unknown _man. _That means that you're the only one implicated, not me." He countered with a mischievous grin. "Besides, it was a pointless exercise anyway; they have your DNA on file."

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

"Use your own brain little brother, I'm not playing a part in this."

At that his brother snapped, standing up and producing a ferocious growl as he pinned his brother to the wall and put a chunky hand around his throat.

"You better help me or I'll snap your neck." He said threateningly.

He merely rolled his eyes and let out a third sigh.

"It's a pity those muscles didn't come with a brain. There is one very simple thing you can do."

"And what is that?"

"Make sure she keeps quiet."

He licked his salty lips and removed his hands from his brother's throat, considering this. After a brief pause he nodded.

"What should we do?"

"Well, we know where she works so how about we pay her a visit?"


	29. Chapter 29: The countdown begins

_**You can thank kle107 for reminding me I said I'd update this weekend… I have a goldfish brain at the moment.**_

_**Also once again I have changed my idea about how this story should end and by my plan there should be a good 25 or so more chapters coming after this one. (damn I never meant to make this story so long!) **_

…

As Sam slammed Zoe's car door shut and stared around her, a shiver went down her spine. She found herself staring at the exact spot he and his brother had been standing the day everyone thought she was going mad.

As she stood there, another shiver down her spine made her look over her shoulder as the feeling of being watched came over her. She frowned slightly when she looked back and saw not only was the carpark reassembly empty by there was no one around.

She was roused from her thoughts by a gentle touch on the shoulder from Zoe, who gave her an encouraging smile and nodded towards the doors. Sam gave a small smile and a nod back as they made their way through them and over towards reception.

As soon as the automatic doors peeled back to reveal reception Sam's heart almost skipped a beat. Nothing had changed here either. Same old Noel and reception, Charlie directing patients to cubicles, Tess writing up paperwork and Sam caught a glimpse of Jordan rushing through the double doors that lead to recess at the back along with Tom.

"Right, let's get changed in the staff room and…" Began Zoe

"Hey Sam you're back!" Shouted Noel from reception.

As soon as Sam's name was said everyone appeared and gathered around her and Zoe. Suddenly she was faced with a barrage of questions and found herself confused as to how they had come across the fake information they were stating.

"That cancer scare must have been terrifying!"

"So is the flu completely gone now?"

"You stayed at Zoe's right?"

"Welcome back, I mean… you are back now, right?"

The questions abruptly ended as Zoe shouted for calm as a slightly shell shocked Sam backed away a little.

"In answer to the 20 or so questions I heard you come out with just now... yes Sam has a bad case of the flu, yes her doctor was afraid is was something more sinister when the cough refused to go, yes she is _fine_ and yes she stayed with me throughout this."

The murmuring stared to cease as the crowd nodded in acknowledgement until it turned into a loud round of applause and everyone yelling 'welcome back!' After which the crowds dispersed.

As Sam was led by Zoe, Tess and Linda into the staff room she couldn't help the small smile that had appeared on her face at the sight of her co-workers welcoming her back. When Linda and Tess sat her down while Zoe shut the door her smile faded slightly.

"So anyone care to explain why they all think I'm recovering from a lung cancer scare?"

"Well people were asking questions and we needed something to tell them so I tried telling them you were off sick but they kept wanting to know more so Zoe and Linda came up with the idea of a bad case of a flu and a cancer scare." Tess replied with a slightly smile. "I hope you're alright with this."

Sam took a moment to digest this nugget of information before turning her frown into an even wider smile.

"Thanks, I don't think I could have handled too many questions today." She replied as cheerfully as she could manage.

Just as she said this there was a soft knock at the door and Nick Jordan's head appeared around the frame a second later.

"Mr Jordan." Sam said, a little surprised.

"Good morning everyone. I trust that you are well enough to be returning today?" he asked in his usual formal manner.

Sam gave a smile and a nod.

"Good. Then I look forwards to working with you." He said with a small smile and closed the door with a click.

"Well" Tess said barely a second after he had left. "We better get you in some scrubs. They're in your locker as usual."

Sam nodded, then stood up and walked towards her locker before placing her key in the lock and turning it. It opened with a click and just as Sam had said there was a neatly folded pile of fresh scrubs waiting for her.

"…Right I'm going to head out on the ward. When you've got changed come and find me, Sam." Tess said. "I'll give you your first patient."

Linda and Zoe followed her out, both giving her a cheerful wave which she returned as they left. As Sam turned back towards the locker and took her jacket off, she noticed how badly the scars on her neck stood out and let out a small sigh. She had nothing on her to cover then up so was going to have to walk around the hospital drawing a load of questions.

As she took her jeans off and pulled on her top and pants she noticed a small container that resembled a lipstick sitting at the bottom of her locker with a post-it note stuck to it. The note read:

'_It should save them asking too many questions... I hope I got your skin tone right. Linda x.'_

Sam couldn't help but smile as she covered up the scars on her neck and a couple of almost faded bruises on her chest with the concealing stick before placing it in her pocket and locking her locker. Next she strode purposefully over to the staffroom door and opened it, stepping out onto the chaos that makes up ED.

As she headed over to Tess who was still busy with paperwork she got several more welcomes back and a few smiles and waves as well. As she got near Tess she tapped her shoulder and smiled.

"Where do you want me?" She asked confidently.

"Cubicle 4." She said, pointing at the drawn curtains.

Sam nodded and headed over, pulling the curtains back to reveal a drunken old homeless man who was cradling a bottle of whiskey and sporting a gash to the head.

She sighed dramatically and looked back with an expression that summed up her pleasure at having to deal with that patient. She saw Tess and several others followed suit, making it all too clear how well she had been stitched up.

Sam sighed and smiled as she turned back around, today was going to be a good day, she could feel it.

…

"So we attack now, yeah?"

"No you idiot! By the way you described how they welcomed her this must have been her first day back after what _you _did to her, meaning everyone's going to be watching her every move!"

"So what do we do?"

"We wait a while."

"How long?"

He considered this for a moment, pacing up and down his brother's living room before giving and answer.

"Three weeks. We'll 'talk' to her in three weeks."

…

_**And so it begins…. **_

_**If anyone is interested in getting some very cryptic hints about what's going to happen in future chapters, PM me. **_


	30. Chapter 30: Sleep deprivation

_**Sorry if this doesn't flow… being ill really sucks.**_

…

"_Yes _Sam I was working on the same patient you know!" Zoe said in an exasperated but amused tone.

Sam had spent the entirety of dinner going on about her first recess case. Zoe had pretty much tuned out of the conversation after about five minutes, but all the same found herself pleased at how enthusiastic Sam has become after the first day. The only down side was Sam had barely eaten the food in front of her because of the steady expulsion of hot air from her mouth.

"…do you think they'll let me back in recess tomorrow?" Finished the fifth round of Sam's particularly long and excited monologue.

"Not if you're collapsing due to lack of energy." Zoe replied, raising her eyebrows at Sam's still full plate of mac and cheese.

"Right… sorry." Sam said, finally shutting up and beginning to eat.

As she did so she became aware of Zoe staring at her with a peculiar expression on her face. She looked up and gave her a bemused one back, to which Zoe replied with a shake of her head and continued eating her spaghetti.

"What?" Pressed Sam as she finished her third mouthful.

"Nothing… it's just I haven't seen you this happy since… well…"

"..Since I was raped." Finished Sam. "I know. I haven't felt like this in a very long time."

"It's good to see you more confident." Zoe added as she swallowed her last mouthful.

"I still feel weird." She admitted. "But I feel better than I did"

Zoe nodded in understanding and stood up, grabbing her bowl and walking over to the kitchen. After a moment the sounds of a sink filling up with water could be heard.

"You know," Zoe shouted from the kitchen. "No one is expecting you to be a hundred percent after everything you've been through, but you are getting better. Just give yourself the time you need.

Sam nodded a reply, fully aware that Zoe couldn't see the response. She knew what she was being told was true, but everything she had been through was still there at the back of her mind and the emotions that were coupled with that memory made it difficult for her to see a bright future. For the time being she decided to focus on the present and take one step at a time, and hope that nothing too sinister crept up and forced her two steps back.

As she finished the last of her food she noticed that Zoe was staring at her from the kitchen doorway once more and sighed. Her troubled thoughts must have been etched into her face, either that or Zoe had got very good at telling when she was lost in thought.

"I'm fine." Sam said with more certainty than she felt.

Zoe nodded with an unconvinced expression on her face before walking over and taking her plate. As she did so she took the liberty of glancing at Sam's eyes, and immediately became aware of the bags that were forming under them.

"Get to bed." She ordered, playfully whacking Sam's shoulder with the tea towel in her hand.

Sam sighed and nodded, raising herself off of the chair and taking a long theatrical stretch before walking out of the kitchen and into the spare room. She allowed as small sigh to escape her as she pulled on her pyjamas and snuggled up under the covers and closed her eyes.

For a while she thought about the events that had unfolded in ED, ands realized that she had gotten through the day just like she would have any other day, minus jumping about three foot in the air when a male patient grabbed her wrist to get her attention. She smiled slightly as she remembered the focus she had felt coursing through her system as she raced around treating one patient after another.

As sleep finally started to creep over her it was disrupted by the loud ringing of her mobile. While she rummaged around in her jacket which she had thrown under the bed she became aware that Zoe's home phone was also ringing.

"Sam? It's tom. We've got a Major rtc coming and we could really use all hands on deck."

"How big?" Sam replied as she yanked her pyjamas off and her jeans on.

"Two coaches full of people collided head on in a dual carriage motorway, and several cars jack-knifed to avoid it and ended up down a ditch. We're talking maybe 200 causalities and we're having to split the load with St James, even so it's going to be hard without a full team."

Just as Tom finished talking Sam heard a shout from Zoe in the living room.

"Sam? Get up, we're leaving in five minutes!"

"I'll be there soon." Sam replied to Tom and ended the call, and to Zoe she shouted. "Two minutes."

Before getting up off of her bed and heaving the rest of her clothes on she sighed and smiled.

No rest for the wicked.


	31. Chapter 31: Suspicions

Sam had been living on Coffee for the past day and a half, about to begin her third shift in a row as more and more casualties spilled in. Not only did they have yesterday nights coach crash survivors to treat and discharge, they have another RTC further down on the same motor way and a bar brawl that got out of hand.

When Sam finally found a quick 5 minutes to herself all she could do was run over to the vending machine and grab herself the most caffeine rich cup of coffee she could afford with the fiver in the pocket of her scrubs before she was latching onto the next patient being wheeled through ED doors.

"What've we got?" Sam said for the 50th time tonight.

"Michael Firth, 25, has a large shard of glass embedded in one of his eyes and another piece embedded in his ankle. No serious damage as far as we can see and SAT's are all fine apart from his blood pressure being up a little. Oh, and he's completely drunk." Dixie rattled off with a hint of tiredness in her voice.

"Lemme outta 'ere! Wanna go 'ome!" He shouted as if to reiterate that point.

Sam sighed and nodded. "Right, wheel him into cubicle 4, recess is full."

"Right you are boss!" Dixie replied with a smile and a wink.

As Sam and another porter wheeled the bed that was in the cubicle already out of the way their drunken patient attempted an ill thought out bid for freedom, attempting to stand on the ankle with the glass still sticking out.

Both Sam and Dixie grabbed his shoulders and hauled him back onto the bed before he could do any real damage, as Sam took out her pocket torch and attempted is to shine it in his good eye.

As she did this he suddenly lashed out, narrowly missing Dixie's face and almost catching Sam's who jumped back and hit a nearby nurse who was carrying a pile of folders.

"Sorry!" Sam almost shouted as she knelt down to help the nurse, grabbing the reaming folders and handing them to her with her face burning.

"Sam are you alright?" Dixie asked with a look of concern on her face.

"I'm fine. Dixie can you find another Doctor to take over please?"

"Sam are you sure-"

"Can you just do what I say?"

Dixie shut her half open mouth and nodded, quickly calling Tom over to assess the situation. Sam, however, was unaware of this as she had sped across the hospital floor and into the staff room as fast as she could manage.

Her heart rate was going mental and her breathing was getting faster and faster by the second. She touched the place on her arm that he was brushed against and shuddered, realizing that that had been the first time a man had touched her since the attack, and again it had been unwanted.

As she made her way to the sink and pulled a glass from a nearby cupboard she felt her breathing return to a normal state as quickly as it had changed. Watching the water pour out of the tap and into the glass also seemed to have a calming effect on her, to the point where as she sat down she was almost calm again.

Almost.

A gentle knock on the door and DI Tyler's head poking around the doorframe knocked her from her near cheerful mood.

"Sam? Can I have a word quickly?" She asked gently with Tess appearing at her side.

Sam got up quickly, shaking off the last of her cheerfulness and returning to work mode, aware that the entirety of the gossip squad in ED was around six metres away.

"I'm sorry but we really are run off our feet here at the moment, can we talk later?" Sam said in the most professional voice she could manage.

"Sam this won't take long. I just want to give you an update and ask you a couple of questions to clarify something." DI Tyler said as she moved into the room and sat in a living chair along with Tess.

Sam sighed and quickly pulled the blinds on the door to the staff room, becoming ever more aware of the stares she was receiving from Big Mac and Noel. When she turned back around she sat on the living chiair furthest away from them and stared at them with a look of hostility.

"Sam I need to clarify something. You said in your statement he stood over you after the rape and smiled, before leaning down and holding a knife to your throat."

"Yes." Sam replied while she subconsciously rubbed the part on the throat the knife had rested.

"Was he standing to the left or right of you when he looked down?" DI Tyler asked with a notepad and pen ready.

Sam frowned for a moment and then answered. "Right, why?"

"And the knife, can you remember which hand he held it in?"

"Left I think." Sam said slowly. "What's this about?"

"That exact position was used in five other unsolved rape and sexual assault cases."

Sam could have sworn her heart skipped a beat when she said this. And icy chill had settled on her, and she let an involuntary shiver run down her spine as Tess got up and placed a comforting hand over her own on her lap.

"So do you have any idea who he could be?" Tess asked as Sam shook herself and stood up.

"Look it doesn't matter. Are we done here?" She asked, her voice catching slightly.

"Sam I don't think-"

"I'll take that as a yes." She said before walking out of the room.

As she walked through the ED and over to the exit things didn't quite feel real to her. She stared up at the sky and took a deep breath not quite knowing how to deal with the fact she had been attacked by a serial rapist.

As she continued to look up, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"I-I can't do this…" Sam muttered under her breath.

"Sam? You alright?" Came a voice from behind her.

She spun around and came face to face with Tom.


	32. Chapter 32: Anger

_**If you want hints for the next three chapters PM me.**_

_**Sorry I know this chapter pretty badly written, I have THE biggest case of writer's block at the moment.**_

…

Sam stared at him for several moments like she had never met him before. Her face was a mixture of shock, fear and a little apprehension.

"Hi Tom." She said with a forced smile.

"Sam I came to ask if you can take over Michael Firth... Were you crying?" He asked, suddenly aware that there was a tear streak down the length of her face.

"What? Oh no, the cold air just my eye run that's all." Sam replied as she hurriedly rubbed the water off of her face and took a big sniff.

"Oh ok. Well can you do that for me then?"

"Do what?"

"Take back Michael Firth." Tom said with a slight edge to his voice.

Sam blinked rapidly before heading inside with Tom close on her heels. "Sorry Tom I'm snowed under as well."

"But you still have time enough to stand outside in the freezing cold after recovering from flu and crying- oh no- I meant let your eyes water?" He said in a jokey voice.

Sam didn't see the funny side.

"I'm so sorry taking a break from hell isn't allowed now. Look I'm busy can you just handle Firth, please?" Sam begged, turning back to him just as they reached reception.

"Sorry Sam you're on your own." He replied flatly as he passed her the patient file. "And next time, if you have a problem sort it out and don't ask Dixie to cover for you."

"I never-"

"_She's still feeling a bit under the weather…" _Tom said in a high pitched voice. "And you better go talk to Noel about the Police officer that wanted to talk to you before he has the whole place thinking you're some kind of mad criminal and the flu story was fake."

"Tom-"

"Sam I have work to do."

With that he stormed off, leaving Sam wondering exactly where the conversation went so sour. As she ran it through her head she walked over to Noel at reception and tapped on the desk to get his attention.

"Ah" He said as he looked up with an oddly smug expression on his face. "Been spending a few nights in the slammer have we, _doctor _Nichols?"

Sam almost exploded then and there.

"No, I have not _spent a few nights in the slammer_ as you so kindly put it. A couple of days before I was due back my bag was stolen and the police think they may have tracked down the thief."

"…oh..." Noel said quietly as his ego deflated a little. "Sorry."

"What's going on here?" Came the raised voice of Zoe from behind Sam.

Noel looked down at his desk and shuffled his feet while Sam looked away in an attempt to hide the anger that was written all over her face.

"Nothing." Sam said after a brief awkward pause.

"Sam-"

"Zoe I have patients." She replied angrily before heading over to a now slightly more sober Michael Firth.

As she walked over she took a long, deep breath attempting to calm her now frayed nerves. Part of her, the sane part, felt bad for snapping at Zoe so she made a mental note to apologize alter. She saw as she got closer he was still slightly drunken and there was a security guard keeping a watchful eye on him, or rather they were keeping a watchful eye on each other.

As she read his file he moved his mistrustful gaze to her.

"Mr Firth, the X-Ray results revealed that you haven't done any major damage to your leg however you will need to see a specialist about that eye. Understand?"

"I don't want you. Get a different Doctor."

Sam took another deep, calming breath and stared at her patient with as little aggression as possible. Michael Firth on the other hand stared at her with expression that said if eyes could kill she would be dead.

"Mr Firth. I can assure you that-"

"You've assured me that you're an incompetent bitch!" He snarled, "You left me with some other doctor and now you want me back 'coz he's to busy!"

With that he grabbed a nearby bedpan and threw it, hitting her squarely in the face.

As soon as it made contact with her she finally had had enough. As her face contorted with fury she motioned the nearby security guards to restrain him while she snapped at a nearby nurse to bring her a sedative.

The frightened nurse did what she was told, and moments later Sam was injecting a kicking and screaming Michael Firth before throwing the needle in the bin. As she watched the sedative creep into his veins several other nurses and Zoe had gathered nearby all too afraid of the death stare Sam was wearing to go any closer.

Sam herself was still wondering where all this anger had come from, but to overcome by it to stop herself from knocking a patient out.

"Sam..." Zoe managed to mutter as she stared at her like she had never met her before.

"What?" Sam snapped back immediately. "What are you all staring at? Have you forgotten you all have jobs to do?"

She grazed everyone's frightened expression with her death stare and watched as they all melted away by Zoe, before turning back to her now mumbling patient.

"You….Bitch…." He murmured softly through numb lips.

Sam's jaw worked.

"You're not... getting 'way with this…." He growled before at last the sedative overcome him.

"He's going to complain, Sam." Zoe stated. "What were you thinking?!"


	33. Chapter 33: Broken

_**Sorry about not updating in the week, I've just been really busy. I'll see if I can update again tomorrow if I get some time. **_

…

"Sam I'm not going to ask you again, _what were you thinking?!" _

Sam had been leaning against the end of Zoe's desk for about half an hour now, being lectured about how stupid her actions were and how she was in serious trouble. She had tuned herself out of most of the rant for fear of exploding with anger again, that and there were plenty distractions to be had in her head.

She was aware that she had a counselling appointment today, but had no intentions of going to it. She knew that she needed someone to talk to but being shouted at by someone who had helped her through everything made her feel wary of pouring her heart out of a near complete stranger. She was dimly aware of Zoe staring at her like she had lost her mind, or had started sprouting broccoli out of her ears. Or both.

She didn't care.

Something inside of her had switched off. She no longer felt anything but the negative emotions that were fighting against her and everyone she came into contact with. She felt anger at how that man had lashed out, and how she had behaved. She felt scared of the consequences and afraid of one day seeing the man she hated walking straight back into ED like nothing had ever happened.

"SAM!" Came Zoe's beyond furious shout, cutting through her thoughts.

"_What?"_ Sam said as if nothing was wrong.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD?!" Zoe screamed, making the shadow of Doctors and nurses listening in outside the door grow even larger.

To everyone's complete surprise Sam laughed.

It wasn't a warm hearted and jolly laugh, no, it was cold and mirthless. The kind of laugh that sends shivers down your spine, the kind you only hear in a scary movie or on Halloween coming from some creepy toy.

When Sam stood up straight and turned to face Zoe, she half expected her to have turned green and have suddenly sprouted fangs.

"You really want to know what was going through my head, Zoe? _Really?" _Sam said with such a force that Zoe actually stepped back away from her desk.

With that Sam glanced behind her, fully aware that if she said any more than that everyone would know about the rape within seconds. Her jaw worked for a moment as she worked out what to say.

"You know everything. You stood by me. _You_ know how hard this has been." Sam said, punctuating every sentence with a short breath.

"Sam-"

"No, Zoe! I'm sorry but _no!_ You know _everything! _You saw how much it hurt and how scared I was! So now you ask why I lashed out at a patient and you ownder what must have been going through my head when that guy threw that bed pan at me?! I Snapped. I just snapped. I'm truly sorry…" Suddenly the anger had vanished, to be replaced by something Sam despised. Weakness.

"I have never," Began Sam now fighting back tears. "_Ever _felt so weak and so-so _pathetic_ as I do now! I've seen people's heads blown off and been surrounded by machine gun fire while trying to save some poor villager's life! That never even so much as gave me the shivers! But now after all of this… everything that's happened in the last few weeks... I'm broken inside, Zoe. I-I'm just... broken."

"Sam. Go and see your counsellor. Now." Zoe said, turning away so she could attempt in vain to hide the obvious tears that were cascading down her cheeks.

Sam turned and stared at her tear strained reflection in the door. "No."

Zoe turned back around and stared at Sam's reflection also. "Excuse me?"

"I'm leaving." Sam said in a shaky voice.

"Well I think it would be best if you took the rest of the day off-"

"I mean I'm going back to my flat." She said with more force.

"Sam you're still recovering! What is something happens and no one's there to help you?" Zoe demanded.

"Zoe I'm leaving and that's that. Drop it." Sam said flatly and with that she walked towards the door and opened it, giving the people outside a fierce look. She watched as they melted away and began to head down straight through ED.

She paused once she got to the lift and stared at it, wondering if she should just go and talk to her counsellor. Her jaw worked for a moment as she decided, and after letting out a low growl she headed straight out of the ED doors, and onto the streets.

"Time to go home." She muttered under her breath before heading off down the road.


	34. Chapter 34: Confusion

_**Next update will be either Thursday/Friday or next weekend. **_

…

_She tried not to think about his body on top of hers, or him inside of her but it was impossible. She felt his ragged breathing on one side of her neck and a freezing cold hand on the other. It didn't feel real, it couldn't be real… it just couldn't. _

_Then it was over. _

_She laid in the alleyway staring up at his face and that cold, cruel smile. She could feel emotion bubbling up under the expression of pain and fear which had taken over her. She pushed it back down, not wanting to give him another victory over her. _

_She kept her eyes trained on his face as he knelt down, and somehow manage to resist the overwhelming temptation to squeeze her eyes shut as he touched her cheek. Instead she took in every detail of his face and allowed her eyes to widen has recognition dawned upon her. _

_He appeared to notice the change in her expression, and allowed himself a small smile as he moved his hands up to her forehead. She saw the change in him before his face contorted and twisted into pure malice, and found herself giving the man who had just raped her a look of pleading. She was disgusted by the very thought. _

_Her disgust was quickly banished however as she felt the cold metal of the blade in his hand pressing up against her throat and his teeth on her earlobe. _

"_You tell anyone about tonight, and I __**will **__kill you. Understand?"_

_It took barely a second for her to reply with a pathetic attpempt at a nod, but he still appeared pleased with this and quickly got up and withdrew from the alleyway…_

Sam awoke with a terrified scream.

She was greeted by daylight pouring through her bedroom windows, and for a moment thought she was laying in Zoe's spare room before she placed a hand on her forehead and started to remember the events of last night. She was home again.

As she pulled the covers off of herself and walked over to the wardrobe she realized how little it felt like home to her now. She had been raped walking home, and for that reason she no longer cut through Sandown road, instead opting for the longer route around.

For it took her a moment to remember that she had set her alarm and just after she was finished pulling a top over her head she look around fearfully at it it. She almost screamed when it told her she was 2 hours late for work.

…

She rushed through the double doors into ED as fast as her legs would carry her, and nearly ran Tess over in her bid to reach the staff room before she was reprimanded in the middle of the corridor by Jordan.

As she quickly wrenched open her locker door and ripped her top off before pulling her scrubs over her head she heard A tut from behind her and came face to face with Tess, who was looking at her with a disdainful expression.

"Sorry, Tess." Sam managed to say as she straightened her scrubs up and tried to perfect a look of apology.

"Sam... You look awful. Go home and get some sleep." Tess said, in the least disappointed voice she could muster.

Sam frowned in confusion before turning to face the mirror at the opposite end of the room. She had large bags under her eyes and a pale complexion, not out of place on a horror movie. Her hair was ruffled where she had forgot to brush it show she hurriedly flattened it and attempted to smooth out the lines under her eyes with her fingers.

"I'm fine." She said after a moment.

"Sam-" Began Tess, and argument against this statement ready on her lips.

"Where do you want me?" Sam said forcefully.

Tess sighed and studied her determined expression before deciding she meant it.

"Well Tom's handling cubicles and by all accounts he's not too pleased with you so I think you should go and help Jordan in recess. He's dealing with A teenager who fell off of his bike and has a query fractured collar bone and a broken wrist."

"I'm on it." Sam said before heading out of the doors and down the recess.

The sight she was greeted with when she opened the doors was not a pretty one, A boy screaming and writhing around in pain with Jordan and several other nurses attempting to get a look at his injuries.

"Hold still and I can… Sam! Great! I need a hand over her, hold his god arm down so I can get a look at this wrist, would you?" He asked as he dodged an attack from the flailing limb.

Sam immediately rushed forwards and gently took the boys good arm and held it down onto the trolley. Jordan then began examining his wrist and called for Linda who was too busy staring at Sam to notice, to call the X-Ray team.

"Linda! Now!" Barked Jordan when he realized he didn't have her attention.

Sam felt her face slowly turning red. Clearly the events of yesterday were fresh in everyone's minds. Sam was bought out of her brief brood by a yell coming for the teenager as the pain in his wrist intensified. Jordan once again found himself struggling to control the boy as the pain started to control his actions.

"Sam! Ten milligrams of morphine now!"

Sam blinked rapidly before heading over to a nearby medicine cabinet and filling up a syringe. When she returned she found Linda holding boy's good arm still she could inject him, but immediately she noticed something was wrong.

"Sam stop!" Linda shouted grabbing her arm to stop her form injecting the boy.

"_What?" _Sam said in the most irritated tone she could muster, "Do you this boy to writhe around in pain forever?"

Jordan briefly looked at the syringe in her hand. "Sam look at the contents of that syringe."

Sam looked down in confusion and as soon as she did she felt a chill run down her spine. She had a syringe full of diazepam.

"I-I don't understand…" Sam muttered, still staring at the syringe in shock.

"Linda takes over from Sam. Sam, you head up to my office. Now." Jordan said sternly as Linda injected the boy with the right medication.

Sam gave a brief nod and headed out of recess, her expression mystified.


	35. Chapter 35: Understanding

_**Well I was supposed to be revising but I can't concentrate so here we go!**_

…

Sam felt the draft from the door as Jordan closed it quietly behind Sam who couldn't help but jump a little. She had been sitting on a chair facing his desk for about half an hour now, waiting for the moment she feared she was going to get struck off for.

She had pictured Jordan going off on a rant like Zoe had, and she had pictured herself cowering down. She couldn't take much more, though this time instead of yelling she felt like running out of the door and leaving the automatic doors hissing shut behind her for the last time.

To her surprise when Jordan came to sit down in front of her he didn't seem angry, in fact he had an extremely worried look on his face and her patient file on the desk in front of him. She eyed it warily, fully aware that her counselling notes and some details of the rape would be contained within the bluish colour folder.

For a moment he simply sat in front of her, analysing every detail of her face. She felt slightly unnerved by this but let him do it nonetheless. She saw his worried expression double in intensity as he studied the bags under her eyes covered up by a thin layer of makeup.

"Sam, I'm not annoyed at you. Mostly I just called you in here to see how you're coping, but I see by the bags under your eyes asking is a little redundant."

For a moment Sam felt hostility towards the comment, but that drained away as quickly as it came. She felt drained by the nightmare, drained by the argument with Zoe and sick of the mental battle she had been a reluctant participant in for over 2 months. Everything reminded her of the rape, including someone wearing the same colour jacket her attacker wore that day, and she always found herself doing a double take just to make sure that her eyes were really deceiving her.

Jordan watched quietly as Sam went through several thought processes before coming out with an answer. He appeared to sink slightly in his chair as he watched her expression, and for a moment Sam wondered if this was through sheer relief that the tension Sam felt seemed to be directed inwardly rather than at him.

"I'm...struggling." Sam admitted, more to herself than to Jordan.

"I see. Are you sure that you came back at the right time? I heard about the confrontation you had with Zoe over Firth." Jordan asked gently.

This time Sam found no opposition forming within her mind over someone questioning whether she should be at work, mostly because after everything she had just thought about had opened her eyes to how out of touch with reality she was becoming.

"I… I don't want to leave, I'm afraid I won't be able to face coming back again." Sam said slowly. "But…"

"But?" Jordan repeated, sitting up in his chair slightly.

"But I don't know if this is a good fit for me anymore." Sam finished, breathing as though she had just run a marathon after finishing the sentence.

"Sam. I heard from Zoe that you hadn't attended your counselling session this week. Why is that?" He asked.

"I-I just didn't feel like talking to anyone…" Sam muttered quietly.

"I think you should go along to her now. I'll place a call and tell her you're going down and you need to talk to her about what's happened over the last few days. Is that alright?"

Sam took a moment to consider her options, and though part of her still didn't like admitting Zoe was right after all she had said she still gave a stiff nod.

Jordan smiled a nodded back, and after a brief phone conversation with her counsellor he turned back to her and gave her the warmest smile he could muster.

"Sam, after the session take the rest of the day off. I want to see your bright and early tomorrow morning, understood?"

Sam blinked confusedly and stared up at him as he stood up like he had just fallen out of the sky in a rocket.

"Y-you're letting me back in after I screwed up today?" She said incredulously. "A-Are you sure I'm ready?"

"If I wasn't sure you wouldn't be going anywhere near a cubicle, trust me. But, as it stands you've been honest with me and I appreciate that. If you go and see your counsellor and talk about how you've been feeling in the last few days we'll let this rest. I'm sure I can speak to Linda eh… 'Persuade' her not to spread any rumours or she may find a large quantity of money missing from her pay check." Jordan said with a oddly mischievous smile.

"Er..Right." Said Sam, once again blinking rapidly.

Jordan was also blinking, apparently running the conversation back through his head and how exactly he had got from telling his doctor to go see someone about something very serious to cracking terrible jokes.


	36. Chapter 36: Breathe easy

_**I was planning on updating sooner but I had stress induced writer's block yesterday… sorry! **_

…

With every step Sam took towards the counsellor's office the knot in her stomach tightened to a point where she thought she was going to pass out. Standing in the lift turned out to be worse than walking, as she found herself waiting at every single floor of the hospital before she finally was able to get out at her own floor.

As she walked down the corridor she noticed Dr Wilson standing outside her office looking as foreboding as ever. In spite of her initially sour expression as Sam approached she broke out into a small but friendly smile and welcomed her into her office.

Sam returned the smile before walking in and sitting down, not meeting Dr Wilson's eyes. To her relief Dr Wilson shut the door with a gentle click and made no comment on this.

"I heard some fascinating stories, something involving a blazing row with a Dr Hannah and anesthetizing a patient without his permission after he threw a bedpan at you. How are you feeling?"

Sam felt her face turning a deeper shade of red with every word that came out of her mouth. It took her a moment to answer, for words seemed to have temporarily failed her.

"I-Um I'm better than I was when all of that happened…" She muttered as she entwined her fingers.

"Good to hear. Can I ask what bought all of that on?" Dr Wilson asked, leaning in.

Sam went redder still. "Which part….?"

"Well what made the patient hit you with a bed pan?"

"Earlier he lashed out and I jumped back… I got another doctor to deal with him while I cooled off and that doctor and him both got annoyed at me for dumping him on someone else so he lashed out again… and so did I."

"So you couldn't take it anymore, Sam you know that's not your fault don't you?"

"I think it is. Well, if that isn't then what happened next was." Sam said sourly.

"And what happened next?"

"I blew up again at Zoe and moved back into my house, which turned out to be the stupidest thing I've done in a while."

"Why?"

"I-"

Sam was about to respond but stopped abruptly. The conversation could have been with anyone up to this point, anyone with a few mental problems. What she was about to say would take her right over that line, straight over a boundary she didn't want to cross. She was going back to the rape.

"Sam?" Dr Wilson asked cautiously.

She had been watching Sam with a concerned expression, apparently trying to guess her trail of thought.

"I... I had a nightmare. About the rape." Sam said quietly.

"May I asked what happened in the dream?"

"It was… as it happened and... and after when he ran away. I was distracted all day and I almost gave a patient the wrong medication." Sam replied with a slight shake to her voice.

"Sam. I need to you to something for me." She said as she leaned back in her chair.

"What?" Sam asked with a slight edge to her voice.

"Lean back in the chair and close your eyes. I'm going to show you a breathing technique that should help you calm down."

Sam blinked several times and leant back cautiously before slowly closing her eyes.

"Ok, first things first. Drop your shoulders and slacken that big frown line you have going on there." She said as gently as her slightly sharp voice would allow.

Sam did as she was told, but felt the urge to reverse this in an instant.

"Now take a deep breath in and hold it to the count of four, and release it t the count of seven."

Sam did as she was told, but felt no more relaxed that when she had started. She could feel her counsellor's gaze and her eyes longed to open but instead she repeated the action several times until her senses of the world outside her eyelids began to fail.

She thought about everything that had been bothering her but strangely enough nothing seemed to scare her anymore. The object of her nightmare felt more like a mere fact of her life instead of the thing that had been haunted her for over a month. As the deep breathing took her deeper into her mind she felt the bulk of her worries for the last few days, and became aware of her shoulders dropping a few more inches. She took a couple of slightly harder breaths to shake herself out of this state and back into the real world.

As she opened her eyes she was greeted by a rare smile form her counsellor, who had her eyebrows raised expectantly.

"How do you feel?"

"Relaxed… for the first time in months." Sam replied as a smile naturally formed on her mouth.

It faded slightly as her mind formed a conclusion she had been oblivious to for the past couple of minutes. There must be a catch.

"Do I have to go home now or something?"

"Well" Said the counsellor, "For the rest of today yes, but tomorrow I want you back in the ED bright and early."

"I thought I'd have to leave…" Sam said with a confused expression on her face.

"Sam if you don't learn how to cope with the challenges that life will throw at you now then when are you going to?"


	37. Chapter 37: Apologies

Sam stared up at the ED for a moment before walking in with a cautious air to her demeanour. She was heading in half an hour before her shift, hoping that Zoe was going to be in her office, and in a talking mood.

She had spent most of the night running the future conversation through her head, exploring every twist and turn it could take until she exhausted herself and fell off to sleep on her sofa. When she awoke she spent all of thirty minutes dressing, eating and then heading out into the world half an hour early.

As she walked through the usual hustle and bustle of Friday night's party goers spilling into the ED on a cold Saturday morning complaining of every possible symptom of a hangover you could think of, she felt a twang of nerves in her stomach which almost made her do a double take.

Unfortunately for her, her brain had decided on this double take directly in front of Tess who immediately rushed forwards and gave Sam her usual nurse-to-patient look of concern.

"Sam? What's wrong?" Tess said as she placed her hands gently on Sam's upper arms.

Sam sighed and gave her a small smile. "Nothing. I'm good."

"Sam, you do realize who you're talking to I presume" Came the reply with a stern look.

"Tess I'm _fine._" Sam implored as she composed her features to match Tess's.

"Hmm." Tess replied in an unconvinced tone. "Now tell me what's going on."

Sam looked up to the ceiling for a moment and sighed exasperatedly. The ever increasing knot in her stomach was making her do several double takes in her head until the point where she was half expecting her legs to start carrying her straight out of the ED.

"I'm…" Sam muttered before taking another deep sigh. "I'm going to see Zoe, to see if I can sort this out."

"Oh, well I best warn you that she's not in the best of moods… She just lost a patient." Tess said with a tinge of sympathy in her voice.

Sam's jaw worked for a moment as she once again fought the urge to turn tail and run, but this time she overpowered it and gave Tess a more confident smile.

"It's fine. I'll go and see her." Sam said as a more confident smile formed on her lips.

Tess gave her an expression full of misgivings but allowed her to pass regardless, though Sam could still feel her gaze burning a hole in the back of her head as she walked over to Zoe's office. She knocked a couple of times before poking her head around the door, and was greeted with the sight of Zoe looking like she was about to break the phone at her ear.

"Zoe can I-"

"…Yes Mr Rogers, I understand that but… No, Yes Mr Rogers.. Bringing a lawsuit down on this hospital will not bring your wife back! Hello? _Hello?_ Great, just great."

Zoe slammed the receiver down and stared at it as though it had just insulted her mother. Sam knocked on the door cautiously again and couldn't suppress the startled double take she did at the livid expression she received when Zoe looked up.

"Dr Nicholls… I didn't see you there. Come in." Zoe said, hastily re-arranging her features.

Sam gave a wary smile and complied, taking a seat slowly in front of Zoe's desk.

"What can I do for you?" Zoe said as kindly as she could.

"I-I… I wanted to apologize for my behaviour." Sam stammered, aware that the tension in the room could be cut with a knife.

"Oh." Zoe said with an unreadable expression.

"So… I-I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to cause all of this drama with you or with Firth."

Zoe sighed and looked down for a moment, and in that moment Sam wondered if Zoe was going to accept her apology or not. When Zoe rose her head again the lines of tension that had been stretched over her forehead were far less pronounced and a small smile had formed upon her lips.

"Sam, I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to be so hard on you. I know more than anyone how much you've been through. But unfortunately it's going to take more than an apology to smooth over this thing with Firth. He's already filed a complaint and he appears intent on following it through."

Sam's smile faded slightly as a new source of worry started to gnaw at her insides.

"So... what do we do?"

"We fight it. It's the only thing we can do. He has made two complaints against you, one for incompetence-"

"What the hell?!"

"And another for assault."

"_Assault? _Are you kidding me? He threw the damn bed pan at me! What did –"

"…You apparently 'rammed' and needle into his arm full of sedative with excessive force, and before then you abandoned him"

"I needed some fresh air… and I hardly _abandoned _him, I gave the case to Tom." Sam said stubbornly as she stood up and glared at Zoe from across the table.

"And the needle? Did you use excessive force?"

"Zoe I can't believe you would even ask me that!" Sam blurted. "I thought you of all people-"

"Sam please! I'm just trying to gather all the facts so I can mount a strong defence should this end up in a hearing. I saw you were upset. Please just tell me if you may have used more force than necessary."

Sam took a couple of short breaths before answering, hoping to stop herself from blowing up once more.

"I _may _have used more force than I should have, yes." Sam muttered.

Zoe sighed and rested her head in her hands. "Ok thanks Sam. You can go and continue your shift. We'll have to have a meeting at a later date."

"Fine." Sam said with a colder voice than she intended.

"Oh and Sam?" Zoe said, looking up just as Sam was about to open the door.

"What?"

"_Do not _under any circumstances go to Firth's house, understood?"

Sam gave no answer, and simply walked out of the door as an idea began forming in her mind.

…

_**Sorry for the lack of updates! Hopefully I should be able to update a few more times this week.**_


	38. Chapter 38: Escalation

After copying down Michael Firth's address from his patient file Sam hurried out of the ED, aware that she only had about 15 minutes until her shift started. Luckily for her his home was only a couple of streets away, and was in the exact opposite direction to Sandown Road.

As she walked up the street his house was located on she slowed her hurried pace a little as she realized she hadn't got a clue what she was going to say. Her mind briefly went back to her failed apology back when she had unintentionally broke Keith Parr's neck, and she wondered of Zoe was right.

Sam snapped her mind back to the present with a deep breath. No time for doubts now.

She was able to knock on the door twice before she heard loud footsteps and the door swung open to reveal a totally different person to the one she had met in the hospital. Sam had been expecting someone off his head on alcohol but instead a man with a clean shaven face and a suit was stood before her.

It appeared to take him a moment to recognise her, but when he did the almost pleasant look on his face turned into something that was making her doubt her decision to try and apologize even more than Zoe's stern warning against this course of action.

"What exactly do _you _want?" He said coldly.

Sam's jaw worked as a shudder went down her spine but she still stood her ground.

"Good Morning Mr Firth, I was wondering if we could-" Sam began in the most cheerful voice she could muster.

"You were wondering if you could sweet talk me into dropping the charges. Well you've had a wasted journey. Go back under whatever rock you crawled out from and leave me the hell alone."

Sam's jaw worked once more, she didn't want to appear rude but the phrase 'sweet talk' instantly got under her skin. Sweet talk wasn't her thing, she didn't get where she was in the army by sweet talking her way up to the top.

"Mr Firth I assure you that I have no intention of _sweet talkin_g you or anyone else." Sam replied, struggling to keep her voice level.

"Look, I don't have time for this and I'm sure too busy dumping patients on other people to see that some of us actually have work to do."

"Mr Firth-"

"For gods sakes women give it up! And for your information it isn't 'Mr' it's lieutenant."

Sam's eyes widened. "Lieutenant?"

"Yes, or it was. I was discharged after my PTSD got too bad for me to function properly as a soldier." He said before shaking his head. "Why am I telling all of this to you? Get out of here!"

"Is that why you were drinking?"

"What?"

"I knew many soldiers who turned to drink because of what they saw out there. I was lucky enough not to be one of them." Sam replied, meeting his stern gaze.

"Yeah right girly. You really expect me to believe that they let some women-"

"You better watch the sexism. Yes, they let _some women _into the Army. I was an army medic." Sam replied, keeping her voice as level as she could.

"_You _were an army doctor?!"

Sam sighed and smiled. "Yes, I was."

"Why are you not back out there?"

"I- that's a long story." Sam replied, realizing as she spoke that everything that had happened that led her to staying at Holby.

For a moment Sam thought about what it would have been like have returned to the army and continued her life as though her time at Holby had never existed, or if she had stayed away from the army and worked at the different hospital.

"Are you... alright?" Firth asked, looking at her awkwardly as she became lost in her thoughts.

"What? Oh, Oh yes I-I'm fine." Sam stuttered. "What about you?"

"What?"  
"Are you still drinking?"

"I'm not an alcoholic, you know. No I'm not still drinking." He said in an affronted tone.

"Look I'm sorry. I had to ask, if you were then I could get you some help and-"

"Since we've already established that I am not an alcoholic there is no need to continue this line of conversation." Firth said flatly.

"Right, of course. Sorry."

"You say sorry an awful lot."

Sam's lip curled. "I don't normally."

"Yes I had a feeling you would say that."

Sam was surprised to see a small smile forming on the man's lips as he said this.

"Bah!" The man shouted suddenly, making several passers by jump in surprise. "

Sam stared at him in confusion and waited.

"Before you came here I was intent on making sure you lost your licence. But now I see that there's something about you Dr Nicholls that makes me feel fortunate that we have people in our own country that are like you. I was the one in the wrong that day and for that I am truly sorry. I will phone up your Dr Hannah and drop the complaint."

…

He stared out of the window for the longest time, waiting the return of his brother. If he ever found out the line of thought that was going through his mind at that precise moment he would have probably killed him.

He was having doubts about this while situation. He had only agreed to be involved in this because the man who had raped Dr Nicholls was his brother, but now he realized the true implication this could have on him if they were caught.

For a moment he did consider walking out of the nearest door and never looking back, but then he realized that his brother would not rest until he had hunted him down and he was more than capable of framing the entire attack on him, or whatever other crime came to mind.

A slamming of the front door and the usual clopping sound his brother's leather heels made on the wooden floors announced his presence.

"So, did you get it?" He asked as he fixed his expression to its usual emotionless state.

"Yes. I got the damn notepaper and no I didn't touch it with my bare hands. No DNA, no fingerprints. Happy?" He said in an irritated tone.

"Well as happy as I can be with this. Just make sure that you don't get caught getting the address."

"And where do you suppose I get that from?"

"From the hospital patient files, idiot."

"Ok you're mad."

"Sneak in there, note down her address and post the note. If she still doesn't drop the charges then we'll have to step things up a notch."

"Fine."


	39. Chapter 39: Chaos

As Sam walked towards the hospital car park she became aware that she had had the same sheepish grin plastered on her face since Zoe had rung her up last night and told her ecstatically that all the charges Firth had made against her had been dropped.

She quickly re arranged her features to her usual doctor-to-patient look of professionalism but that didn't change the burst of energy she felt on the inside. She felt like running the distance of the London marathon and probably would have if the temperature wasn't below zero on that particular morning.

Instead she had to suffice for stuffing her hands even deeper into her beige jacket pockets as another gust of icy wind swept around the hospital grounds. She stopped for a moment and tensed her muscles against the icy bite the wind had acquired, but even this could do nothing to dampen her spirits.

When the gust had finally subsided she simply glared up at the sky in a challenging manor, daring it to try anything to dampen her spirits. As she waited for the automatic doors to swoosh open and allow her entrance into the warmth of the ED she heard footsteps running up behind her and a familiar voice shouting her name over a gust of whistling wind.

She turned and smiled at Tom, who gave her a wide grin back.

"Morning." She said with a bounce to her voiced that was rarely heard.

"Good morning." Came the pleasant reply, however just as he said this he glanced at the sky. "Or... maybe not."

Sam couldn't quite figure out why but that statement boosted her happiness to euphoric levels, and she allowed a rare giggle to escape her lips.

Tom stared at her for a moment in confusion. "You alright there Sam? Not like you to be this eh... happy."

"No, no I'm fine. Tom I wanted to apologize about dumping Firth on you and then acting so strange when you wanted me to take him back, I don't know what got into me."

"Hey it's fine, all forgotten. How about we head in before we freeze to death out here?" Tom said cheerfully.

Sam became aware that they had been standing outside the open automatic doors for about thirty seconds now, inches away form being in the warm yet still standing in the bitter cold.

"Good idea." Sam replied, but just as she made to move Tom touched her arm and pointed to a man some distance away.

"You know that guy?"

It took less than a second for Sam to register the face of the man across the road from her, and she felt her blood run cold at the sight of him. For a moment time appeared to stand still, all she could see was him, and the smirk he was wearing along with a black jacket and blue jeans. She could see Tom looking at her with confusion out of the corner of her eye but she couldn't react.

As she stared he raised his hand as though about to wave but before he got the chance a lorry drove by, blocking Sam's vision. By the time the lorry had passed he was gone and Sam was left to stare at the piece of pavement he had only just inhabited like she had just lost it.

"You alright?" Tom asked, making Sam aware that time was still moving around her.

"I Uh... yeah I'm fine." Sam said with an edge to her voice.

"Who was that guy?" Tom asked. "You're as white as a sheet!"

"I don't know and it's just the wind... I-I'm cold." Sam replied. "Let's go inside. I have to talk with Zoe before we…"

The sound died in her throat. Both she had Tom stared at the ED as though they had never seen it before, for they may as well not have.

There were people everywhere, some with gaping cuts on their heads, other clutching sprained or broken wrists and ankles. Sam and Tom could see Charlie and Tess attempting the shepherd patients around the ED, trying to bring order to the chaos that had descended.

Most of the people were dressed in what appeared to be their finest eveningwear, men with their hair combed back ad women with their hair done up as though they were in the presence of royalty. Tom caught Linda's gaze and motioned her over.

"What the hell happened?" He shouted over the hubbub.

"Wedding gone wrong." Linda replied. "Bride found out the groom had been cheating on her, and a massive fight broke out between the two families."

"Sam, we better get started." Tom said, turning to a nearby man on the floor with a injured foot and a cut to his head.

Sam instead headed in the direction of Zoe's voice, and as soon as Zoe caught sight of her she let out a massive sigh of relief.

"Oh thank god. Is Tom here too?" Zoe asked, placing a hand on her shoulder and shepherding her into the staff room.

"Yes he's already started. Zoe I really need to talk to-"

Just as Sam was about to finish her sentence a couple of men nearby decided to continue the brawl, causing a nearby Lloyd to run into the thick of it and split them up.

"Sam we're really snowed under, can it wait?" Zoe said as she watched Lloyd cautioning the two men.

Sam stared around her and sighed. She knew she should really speak up but she couldn't bare to put any more pressure on Zoe as the ED looked like it was about to fall apart.

"No, it's fine. It can wait." Sam replied.

"Good. See you out there."

With that Zoe ran off into the thick of it and began once again attempting to treat patients. Sam's gaze lingered on her for a while, before she turned and quickly shrugged off her jacket and clothes and pulled her scrubs over her head.

The next hour went by like it was attempting to last the next ten years out. Sam spent most of the time breaking up fights and treating minor head injuries, not to mention calling ever porter in sight to help ferry patients to various floors for X-Rays.

After a couple more hours had passed the hubbub had finally settled down enough for at least some of the reception floor to be visible, but Noel still looked like he was about to explode because of the sheer mass of patients surrounding him all demanding to be admitted.

But once again Sam found herself distracted; she could see a man wearing blue jeans and a black jacket walking away form the reception desk with a post-it not in his hand. But this time there was so much going on Sam barely had time to comprehend the fac that her rapist was walking through the hospital as though he owned the place before getting swept back into the crowds of patients all shouting for some assistance.


	40. Chapter 40: The letter

_**Happy Halloween everyone! **_

…

The rest of her shift went by as though time had been slowed down to the point of nearly stopping. By the time she had pulled open the door to her home and stumbled around in the dark until she had located her bed, she was beyond exhausted. If she wasn't, she may have noticed the piece of A5 paper that had been posted through her letterbox in the middle of the night, the flap on her letterbox making a loud clanging sound as it slammed shut.

Her night was pretty much undisturbed, her sheer exhaustion dragging her back down into the very depths of sleep every time her disturbed thoughts surfaced. There were several moments during the night when her thoughts almost seemed to rouse her form unconsciousness, but the sheer lack of energy in her body made it impossible for anything to fully awaken her.

By the time her body had recovered enough to allow her to move a wintry sun was already creeping over the rooftops. She moved her hand around on the mattress for a moment, enjoying that moment of bliss where she didn't have a car in the world for a few seconds until her brain woke up enough to inform her of the day's events.

However it was only when she opened her eyes she realized that the sunlight entering her room, filtered enough not to hurt her eyes by the curtains, meant that she was at least a couple of hours late.

As soon as she realized this she shot out of bed as though someone had sent a jolt of electricity coursing through the sheets. Though her body was near enough fully functioning her head was still in a dream state, making it impossible for her to figure out exactly where she her clothes for the morning.

After a couple of minutes of opening draws and cabinets searching for something to wear, she realized that she had left her clean clothes on the kitchen table last night because she was just too exhausted to find a draw to stuff them in.

As she headed downstairs, nearly tripping over a kink in pale blue mat outside her door, she realized that she had left her shoes by the front gate and after a brief struggle to pull and top over her head and a fresh pair of jeans on she began walking towards the front door while she stuffed her mobile in the pocket.

She halted in her tracks as soon as she saw it.

There was always a pile of letters on her floor every morning but this time there was just one, and it wasn't in an envelope. Whoever had sent it had come up and posted it personally.

Sam walked towards the letter with an odd sense of foreboding creeping up on her, as though she already knew that the letter contained something that was about to scare her witless. She stood over it for a moment, staring as though it was covered in blood. She could see the handwriting of the person who wrote it: neat and joined up.

As she stooped to pick it up she felt her stomach begin to do somersaults, and found herself only willing to pick it up by the tiniest amount of the corner that she could manage with thumb and forefinger.

She gently began to lift it up, and as she did so she already began reading the A5 piece of paper.

_Dr Nicholls, _

_This is your first and only warning. _

_Drop the charges you are holding against me or I will be forced to carry out the threat which I am sure you remember back on the freezing night in the alleyway. If your mind is not fully functioning at the point of reading this letter then please continue to read as I spell out the current situation for your benefit. _

_You, as I am sure you remember, had some fun with me back in the alleyway nearly two months ago now. I showed you with a knife what would happen if you were to talk to those lovely cops about what we did and yet you still went ahead and told them everything about our night of passion. _

_I have already taken steps to ensure that you will not continue to pursue these charges against me and I am sure you will find these steps most persuasive. You do not have to write an answer, for we will be keeping an eye on you and if any cop cars show up then we will have your reply. _

_Wishing you well, _

_Your friend. _

Sam nearly choked on the tears that were cascading down her cheeks as she read the letter, and found herself sinking down the wall onto the ground as soon as she dropped it. For a moment she sat there, overcome by the shock and scared by the new source of power her fears now had to feed on.

After a brief moment of wondering what to do she pulled out her phone and stared at the contacts. She paused for a moment on DI Tyler's name before scrolling down and selecting Zoe's landline number. The phone must have rung for all of two seconds before Zoe picked up the phone and her angry voice became apparent over the receiver.

"Look, if this is another bloody journalist wanting a quote for _The Holby Gazette _then please ask your colleagues what I said I'd do if I got another damn phone call from you!"

It took a moment for Sam to reply, as another sense of foreboding had crept up on her.

"Zoe?"

"Oh god Sam? Is that you?" Came Zoe's immediately concerned reply. "I am so sorry I have been trying to call you but there was no answer!"

"Zoe what's going on?" Sam asked as her stomach started doing somersaults all over again.

"I… DI Tyler is coming around to see you, she'll explain everything."

"Zoe please just tell me." Sam said as she struggled to her feet as the doorbell rung.

"Sam, the press have hold of your identity." Said DI Tyler to her face as she opened to door and Zoe in her ear.

Sam's jaw worked for a moment. Some part of her was relieved, at least she knew what he meant now about taking steps to make sure the charges were dropped.

"That isn't all." Sam said sadly, pointing at the letter.


	41. Chapter 41: The day before

_**100 reviews! Thanks a lot to everyone who has reviewed and a big thanks to those who keep coming back **___

…

"What is this?" DI Tyler asked as she picked up the letter.

As she stooped down she noticed a copy of a newspaper under her arm, or more precisely she noticed a photo of herself on the cover.

"Sam? I'm coming over. I'll be there in about ten minutes." Zoe said into her ear before hanging up.

Sam listened to the dialling tone for a moment before hanging up also as her brain caught up to what was going on. She stared for a moment at DI Tyler's expression, going from shock to anger and then back to shock again as she read further down the letter.

As she finished reading the letter Sam walked into the living room and sat down, placing her head in her hands. Once again her life was being blown apart, and there was nothing she could do to stop it from happening.

"Sam I really am so sorry-"

"Save it. What can we do about all of this?" Sam said more sharply than she had originally intended.

"Well we can place to you and Dr Hannah in police protection away from here and we are attempting to persuade the local press to stop reporting the story as they are interfering with an official investigation."

"What about the papers that have already sold?"

"I'm afraid there isn't really anything we can do about that, once they've been sold, they're sold."

Sam sighed and stood up."I'm sorry. I lost my temper. Can I see the article at least?"

"Sam I don't think that's a very good idea-"

"Look, I don't think there's anything in that article that can upset me: I lived through it after all. Please, I want to see what they're writing about me."

DI Tyler sighed and stared at her for a moment, watching her expression change from someone that was appearing tough on the outside to something that resembled pleading. She slowly took out the newspaper from under her arm and placed it in her outstretched hand. Sam gave a smile in thanks before sitting down to read.

She stared at the newspaper headline in shock. _The Holby Gazette _had been told her name and a photo of her from her army days was the caption of the photo. As Sam stared at the picture of her smiling in her army medic uniform next to a photo of Sandown road she felt like tearing the paper up. Instead she exercised her restraint and forced herself to read the first few sentences of the article beneath.

It read:

_ED DOCTOR VICTIM OF BRUTAL ATTACK_

_Dr Samantha Nicholls was reportedly found by a friend, Dr Zoe Hannah, after being brutally beaten and raped. The police have been calling for any witnesses to the incident for some time but have been so far unable to locate the perpetrator. Dr Nicholls is said to be 'frightened but recovering' by an inside source and now, two months after the attack, is reported to have returned to work and her 'normal life'. _

Sam couldn't bring herself to read any further. Her eyes had glazed over, as though her mind was attempting to shield her from having to read anything that would cause her more pain. She found unable to move, and unable to speak. A shiver worked it's way up her spine, making her feel unnaturally cold.

"Sam?"

The sound of Zoe's voice seemed to break the spell that reading the article had on her and her mind returned to the present. She stared around the room as fear started to churn around in her stomach. Everyone knew. Her friends and colleagues and every passer by on the street that walked past a newspaper stand.

"Sam I'm so sorry, if there is anything I can do then please, tell me. I've already got the rest of today off arranged with Jordan." Zoe said as she played her bag down on the couch and sat bedside her.

Sam gave a curt nod as a thank you and turned her attention to the letter on the table.

"Zoe, you should read this."

…

He watched with a snarl on his face as the black haired women, now known to him as Dr. Hannah, walked by the police car and into Sam's house. He had is answer. She was going ahead with the charges.

He needed something to take out his pent up frustration on and so kicked a nearby gate, which done his foot more damage than it done the steel. He stared around the street for a moment, conveniently for him no one was around, save for the odd stray cat chasing a pigeon.

Once more he glanced over at Sam's house before heading down the road. He had barely turned off of the road her house was situated on when he noticed his black Lamborghini parked a few metres away from his position. As he neared it the tinted window was bought down to reveal his brother's face.

"So, she called the cops. Looks like we have our answer." He said in a cold voice.

His brother merely nodded in response.

"I have something to do. Meet you back at home."

"What are you up to?"

"I'm going to put the last part of this plan into action."


	42. Chapter 42: Locked in

_**Sorry about not updating through the week, I had way too many tests…**_

_**I'll try and update again either later in the week if I have time or next weekend.**_

…

It took him mere minutes to walk the distance between Sam's home and the hospital, and he found himself wondering exactly why he hadn't decided upon this course of action sooner. It was simple: when he had entered the hospital and hunted down her contact details he had memorised the layout of the hospital, or more specifically where the staff room was.

His plan was to sneak in and pick the lock on her locker, taking out it's contents and leaving her a _very _polite note, kindly warning her not to continue threatening him with the police or more trouble would soon follow.

It was simple in theory, and it would near enough assure him that the charges that could be brought against him imminently would disappear. Unfortunately for him, things hardly ever work out the way they're expected to, especially when your mind is as corrupt as his.

The first problem he encountered was accessing the hospital carpark on foot, for he was forced to dive over a wooden fence opposite the blue gates as an ambulance pulled out with it's siren's roaring.

After struggling back onto his feet he scrambled back over the fence and walked through the gate he yanked the hood of his jacket over his head and walked through, hands deep in his pockets. He was begging to near the doors into reception, and could plainly see that there was barely a soul inside, save for a sleepy looking receptionist talking to a tall male doctor.

The automatic doors opened with a hiss as he approached them and he quickly entered and hid behind one of the many yellow pillars that held up the ceiling. He pressed his back against it and listened hard to the conversation between the men at reception.

"I can't believe this…" A man with a deep voice muttered. "How could that happen to her?"

"I don't know mate. No wonder she was looking a little flighty on her first day back." Replied the voice of the man behind the reception desk.

There was a brief pause in which the sounds of a rustling newspaper could be heard. A small smile spread across his face as he realized that they had been reading the article based on the information his had tipped off the press with.

"If I ever get my hands on the guy who did this I swear I won't be responsible for my actions." The doctor said darkly.

"I hear you."

He slowly realized after a brief silence that the doctor had moved off, and confirmed this with a quick glance around the pillar. The receptionist was too bust shuffling the newspaper he was reading to notice.

With that he sank down the pillar onto the ground, wincing slightly as he bought his knees down too hard on the solid yellow flooring. After placing his hands down also he began crawling over to to the reception desk.

When he got to about half way between the pillar and his destination, he was forced to slide across the floor and stop mere inches away form the receptionist's feet behind the desk as a nurse came by.

"Hey did you hear about Sam?" The receptionist said above him.

"Yeah I did..." Replied the blonde haired women. "I hope they find the bastard who did it now there's media attention."

"Why am I getting the feeling you know more than this newspaper?"

"Because…" She stopped paused briefly before answering. "I do. Sam told before her first day back."

"How was she?"

"Shaken up mostly. I'd never seen her like that before."

He decided now was a good idea to move, as the nurse and receptionist seemed to be deeply involved in the conversation about their friend. He slid his head away from the shoe of the receptionist and continued on his journey towards the staff room, this time going around the back of reception so he wasn't seen.

The door to the staff room opened with a gentle push, and he crawled inside. As soon as he had closed the door silently behind him, he stood up to his full height and closed the blinds that covered the window on the door, first making sure that the nurse and the man at reception were still engrossed in conversation.

Next he turned around and faced the small row of lockers in the corner of the room, ignoring the living chairs and the kitchen area completely. As he scanned the names of her colleagues he immediately picked out 'Dr Zoe Hannah' and took out the paperclip he had in his pocket and bent part of it straight before scratching a line across her name.

As he did so a small part of his mind found satisfaction in this and forced a smile to playt about his lips for the remainder of the time it took him to locate Sam's locker. It turned out to be only a couple of names away from Zoe's, and had clearly not been used in a while as there was a coating of dust inside the lock.

He gently inserted the unravelled paperclip into the lower pert of the lock and pulled out a uniball pen form his pocket. From this he took the lid off and removed the metal strip which was used to hold the pen onto someone's shirt and bent the part of it that held it into the lid into a right angle.

He inserted this into the top part of the lock and put his thumb on one side of it to add a small amount of pressure. After this he jiggled the paperclip around in the lock until he heard a soft click and the door swung open to reveal its contents.

He paused for a brief moment to stare at her scrubs and a coat that was hung on a hood before pulling some paper form his pocket and using the uniball pen to write the note. However just as he placed the very tip of the pen on the paper someone came into the room, forcing him to dive into the locker and pull the door two.

The person in question revealed herself to be the same nurse from the reception desk a few moments earlier, and upon noticing Sam's locker she immediately went over and closed it.

He was trapped in a locker, and only one person had the key…


	43. Chapter 43: Unleashed

Sam rested her head against the car window and watched the streets pass by her in a blur. She was being moved to a safe house for the next few days until the press settled down, or rather until the press at least stopped pounding on the door to her home every five minutes wanting a quote or a full fledged interview. So far she had been offered three contracts, one of which was for someone to write her biography.

She felt sick to her stomach, and the comforting hand Zoe had had on her leg for the last ten minutes wasn't helping. She still had the last few minutes she was going to be spending in her house for a while playing through her mind: throwing random items of clothing into a suitcase and rushing down the stairs and out into an awaiting car.

Something about the way she had left her house upset her, mostly because she was in the process of running away from her life instead of facing up to it.

Part of her wanted to walk into work and face all the sympathetic stares, while the other side of her was gagging at the very thought. Sympathy. The army trained rock hard solder in her was shining through loud and clear in her mind, and telling her that accepting heartfelt apologies from people who had nothing to do with the attack was a definite sign of weakness.

She shifted until she was sitting up straight as an idea suddenly popped into her mind. She had to get back to the hospital and prove she wasn't afraid. However she knew that Zoe and DI Tyler weren't exactly going to turn around the car for her pride: she needed an excuse.

"Sam are you alright?" Zoe asked with more than a hint of concern in her voice.

As Zoe said this Sam became aware that DI Tyler was looking at her through the rear view mirror with a similar expression pasted on her face.

"I need to go back to the hospital." Sam said with an unreadable expression.

"Sam why?" Zoe asked quickly "You'll have to see everyone…"

"Sam I don't think that's wise, Sam the press know where you work and are probably already camped out there." Chimed in DI Tyler.

"I need to get something from my locker. It's important." Sam said in a flat tone.

Part of her felt bad for the blatant lie she was telling people who were trying to help her, but the other side of her felt that is was a necessary sacrifice for her own piece of mind.

"Sam-"

"Please, Zoe I have to do this!" Sam almost shouted.

Zoe studied her face for a moment before opening her mouth. She could see something behind the pleading expression that had formed on Sam's features, though she couldn't tell what it was.

"You'll have five minutes once we get in there." She said after the pause.

…

Sam unlocked her seatbelt with a single click and shuffled out of the car as quickly as she could, but found herself more fazed by the hospital building than she had expected. It felt as though the very sight of it had taken the air out of lungs, and it took her a moment to realize she wasn't breathing.

Once she did she sucked in a breath as quietly as she could so she wouldn't rouse the suspicions of the people watching any higher than they were currently. She then shot a smile in the direction of Zoe, who was giving her a concerned look that was becoming a characteristic of her facial expressions.

"Let's go." Said DI Tyler from the other side of the car. "Doesn't look like the press have got here yet."

Sam nodded and began walking towards reception along with Zoe, who quickened her pace to walk alongside her, an obvious effort to show her support to which Sam responded to by speeding up and overtaking her almost instantly.

She walked straight through the reception doors and stared around her for a moment. Several pairs of eyes fell on her almost at once, while others took a little longer to catch what everyone was staring at.

She saw Tom giving her a nervous smile along with Linda, and several nurses she had never seen staring at her with their mouths half open. She also saw Tess trying her best to usher everyone back to work, before her gaze fell upon the objects of everyone's attention.

She ground her jaw for several seconds until two pairs of clopping heels announced the presence of her company.

"Oi!" Zoe shouted making about 30 pairs of eyes snap to her. "Get back to work all of you! She's been through enough without being gawped at like she's some fascinating science experiment!"

Sam stared around at the embarrassed expressions and watched as a collective mutter spread through the crowd and several areas of the group began to disband. The rest, however, continued to stare.

"Look I know you've heard about what happened to Dr Nicholls and I'm sure you can appreciate the fact that right now she needs our support, and not to be treated like and alien…"

Unable to take it anymore, Sam strode straight through the crowd and into the staff room, slamming the door shut. She took a few deeps breaths with her eyes closed before rummaging around in her jacket pocket for her keys and pulling them out.

She stared at them for several moments, her eyes glazed over. She had the images of everyone staring at her with those shocked expressions and the awkward smiles imprinted in the back of her mind.

She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and then blinked heard, trying to rid herself of these images before heading over to her locker and placing the key in the lock.

As soon as she turned it she realized something was wrong, but it was too late.

He stepped out in front of her and smiled before muttering her name under his breath.

"_Samantha…"_

…

_**I'll update again tomorrow!**_

_**Enjoy the cliffhanger…**_


	44. Chapter 44: Wrong answer

_**Warning: This chapter is pretty dark. **_

…

The next few seconds passed like a blur for Sam.

She was dimly aware of him placing his hands on the top of her arms and spinning her around none to gently. She felt him push her towards to the door and only just registered him gruffly ordering her to lock it. When she didn't move he pressed something small and sharp into her back.

Sam could see Zoe still giving some kind of speech through the open blinds which covered the window; however everyone was so captivated by what she was saying they were totally unaware of her predicament. Sam stared at her for a few seconds willing her to look over, but unfortunately nothing came of it as he quickly took his remaining hand off of her arms and shut the blinds, digging the pointed thing further into her back so she didn't move.

"_Now lock it." _He said in a venomous whisper.

Sam did as she was told without input from her brain, which had all but shut down. She couldn't think and she couldn't move unless he moved her. As he spun her around and stepped back behind her she tried not to imagine what he was going to do to her.

He shoved her just hard enough to knock her off of her feet, and she landed as a sprawled out mess on the ground. It took her a few seconds for the sudden stabbing pain in her newly healed ribs to abate enough for her to attempt the stand, only to find a foot on her back pinning her down.

"Oh sweet Sam. Why couldn't you have just kept your big mouth shut? Hmm?" He said in a sickly sweet tone.

Sam thought it best not to reply now that her mind was starting to catch up and realized the predicament she was in. Wrong choice.

A kick to the ribs send her rolling across the laminated floor in agony. Miraculously her ribs had stood up to this second attack reasonably well save for the colourful bruising that was going to be appearing in the next few hours.

She coughed a couple of times and sat up, glaring at him with a mixture of fear and hate. Unfortunately for her the fear in her features blighted the hate and made her resemble a scared puppy.

The proceeding laugh that came from him was enough to make the dead turn in their graves, and more than enough to send a shiver down her spine. She stared at his ruthless expression and for a moment lost contact with reality.

In her mind's eye she was back in the alleyway, and he was standing over her with a similar expression to his present one with a knife at his fingertips. She watched in complete terror as he pressed the knife to her throat and said the words that had haunted her for the last 2 months.

"You tell anyone about tonight, and I _will _kill you. Understand?"

Except this wasn't a memory, he had said the exact words the same time as the memory of him had.

"What was so difficult Sam? Why couldn't you have just patched yourself up and just lived your fucking life again? What the hell possessed you to try and take my life away from me?"

"You raped me."

The words fell out of Sam's mouth before her brain had had the time it needed to fully process what he had just said.

"_You raped me" _He said in a crude impression of her. "You seemed to be enjoying yourself enough in the alleyway, with all those sounds you were making."

"I was crying out for help!" Sam said quietly, unable to meet his gaze.

"Oh please. What you were saying was barely audible."

"_Because you had your hand over my mouth!" _Sam hissed.

"Details, details. Sam I really don't understand it! Why did you have to go scurrying to the police? I thought army doctors were supposed to be made of tougher stuff. "

"What was a supposed to do? Let an animal like you walk around out there free?" She countered, glaring up at him.

Despite her best efforts to sound calm, the strength of her convictions were really being tested. His cockiness had thrown her considerably and she found herself trying her best not to provoke him, but the army doctor in her had had it's patience tried long enough.

"An _animal?_ This coming from someone who killed people for a living?"

"I was an army _medic. _I healed people, not killed them."

"But you still carried a gun."

"You have no idea what you're talking about." Sam muttered as she lowered her gaze to the floor so she didn't have to stare at his nauseating face a second longer.

Then something clicked. She still didn't know how he found out so much about her, but with every second that past her instincts were becoming surer of what they were telling her.

"It was you. You leaked my name to the press."

With that he laughed and clapped as though this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Finally got there, did you? Well done you're not quite as slow as I thought you were." He said in a snide voice.

"Why would you do that?"

"…because it would humiliate you maybe? Like you're trying to humiliate me?"

"And it would make the police twice as determined to catch you."

"Ah you see that's where you're wrong."

Sam looked back up at him with confusion written all over her face. He was towering above her, and the steely glint he had in his eye unnerved her more than she thought possible. Her body was wracked by another shiver which forced her eyes shut, and when she opened them she nearly screamed. He was bending down in front of her so he was at eye level.

"You see, Sam, you're going to drop the charges and I'm going to let you out of here and we're going to pretend this little altercation never happened. Understand?"

Sam stared at him for several moments before answering. She could feel his breath on her face, not unlike it was in the alleyway. She felt her resolve slip, and almost considered saying yes. Almost.

"What, so you can go out and do this to someone else?"

He sighed and stood up, turning away form her and pretending to be looking out of the window despite the blinds being drawn. Sam took this opportunity to shuffle away from him slightly, but unfortunately for her there wasn't really anywhere to go apart from towards the lockers.

Her shuffling caught his attention but still he didn't turn around, which only served to unnerve Sam further.

"I am going to give you one last chance to say yes." He said in a voice of deathly calm.

Sam stopped shuffling and looked up at him.

"And what if I say no?"

"Say yes. _Now."_

Sam took a deep breath. She knew what was about to happen, and she knew that she could stop it from happening but letting him walk away in her eyes that wasn't an option. So she did the only thing she could.

"No."

The second the word came out of her mouth he turned around with a venomous look in his eye. Sam felt her blood turn cold and tried desperately to protect herself, curling into a ball.

No use.

He grabbed the arms she had up over her head and pushed them to the ground, forcing her to lay down.

She tried to scream but he ripped a section of her jacket off and stuffed it in her mouth.

She tried fighting back but he pinned her legs down with his own and held both her wrists in one hand.

She tried not to watch him unbuttoning his shirt and then her jacket, but it was impossible for every time she closed her eyes they sprang back open.

He sat her up and pulled her jacket off of her arms before ripping her top off. She tried to struggle once more but her strength was failing rapidly and she was finding it increasingly difficult to stay conscious.

Her eyes still wouldn't close but her mind was, as though it was shutting down to prevent her from more harm however a slap to the face bought her straight back to the present, and she was forced to watch as he unbuttoned his jeans.

The piece of her jacket in her mouth was rough against her tongue and she decided to focus on that for the next few minutes but unfortunately it wasn't enough to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks as soon as he started scrabbling at the fastening on her own jeans.

She looked around desperately for an escape route but of course there wasn't one. She was trapped under her rapist.

The next few seconds however bought her new hope.

"Sam? You alright?"

Linda's voice made him freeze and look towards the door just as Sam did the same. Linda was attempting to turn the handle.

"Sam?"

Sam looked at the back of his neck for a moment, watching how it moved as he breathed heavily.

She knew that the consequences of this were going to be severe and she could already feel the pain that he was about to inflict on her but she no longer cared.

Sam placed her head back on the ground and screamed with every last bit of strength she had.

…

_**Well I hope you enjoy cliffhanger #2...**_

_**That'll probably be it until next weekend. Feel free to PM me with any questions :)**_


	45. Chapter 45: Domination

"Sam what's going on in there? Zoe get over here!"

"What's wrong?!"

"It's Sam! The door is locked and she just screamed."

"Sam if you can hear me say something!"

"What's up?"

"Sam's in there and it's locked!"

"Try and see through the blinds!"

"They're shut… wait I can make out something…"

"What is it?"

"Let me see… oh my god. Someone's in there with her!"

"Are they… on_ top _of her?!"

"Get the police, now!"

Sam could hear their voices but could no longer make a sound because of the hand clamped over her mouth. His rotten breath was making her eyes water as he leaned in close and stared at her with the most ferocious look he could muster.

A part of her was relieved to hear the familiar voices camped outside the door; another part of her was terrified. She had crossed the line and now she was going to pay for that decision.

While one of his hands was busy silencing her the other was exploring places it shouldn't and making her flinch at every movement. His face twisted into a vicious grin as he noticed her obvious discomfort, making her squeeze her eyes shut.

As his hand continued exploring tears began leaking from the corners of his eyes once more which he wiped away with a forefinger, placing as much pressure on her face as he could.

A bang on the door by Zoe bought them both back to the present, and to their predicament.

"The police are on the way!" She shouted at the door.

Sam closed her eyes in relief but as it turned out this was to be short lived, for the next few minutes would prove to be the making or the breaking of the situation.

For a moment he stayed still, pressing down on her with both his mind and his body. Her instincts were telling her to move but there was nowhere to go. He was obvious thinking about what to do next, but still didn't appear to have much of an idea as he laid on top of her.

His body was beginning to prove to heavy for Sam, as she began to find it difficult to breathe through her nose with the hand still clamped on her mouth. Just as it got to a point where Sam thought she was going to be choked to death he took back control of his bodyweight and hauled himself up off of her.

He stared down at her for a moment with a curious expression on his face, his hand still grasping her face tightly. For a moment he looked like a lost child, innocent and almost a little scared but this expression soon changed.

"You better keep your mouth shut, got it?"

Sam stared at him in defiance, but the grip he was on her face was throbbing at this point so she gave a stiff nod, hoping that this meant he was going to take his hand off of her mouth.

A few seconds later and her prayers were answered, she took a large breath through her mouth and several more to get rid of the slight dizzy sensation that had been creeping up on her for that last few minutes.

Her relief was short lived.

The next thing she knew she was struggling to breathe once more as she placed a hand round her throat and hauled her up onto her feet with the other. He stood behind her, forcing her to face the door.

Her arms hung limply by her sides, her hands tingling slightly through lack of oxygen. She did try and raise them to meet his hand on her throat in a vain attempt to prise his fingers off of her but she was weakening fast. All her strength had been spent in the initial struggle.

Sam forced a few weak breaths down her airway, but they helped very little. She could feel his mouth close to her ear, his rotten breath once again circulating around her nose.

"You're going to tell them not to come in here, or I will you."

Sam nodded once more, willing to do anything to get his hand off of her throat. She felt the fingers relax as soon as she nodded, and soon found herself free to take in as much air as she needed. A jab to the ribs with a couple of stiff fingers reminded her of her of her task, and the arm wound around her waist was more than strong enough to trap her where she was.

Her ears finally tuned into the fact that Zoe was banging on the door hard enough to knock it down and hollering her name. Sam's voice to several moments warm up enough to make a single sound, for the hand around her throat had pressed on her voice box slightly.

"Zoe." Sam rasped too quietly for anyone to hear.

In her ear he let out a soft snarl and gave her another jab to the ribs, warning her of his impatience.

"Zoe." Sam said slightly louder than her normal speaking voice.

"Sam, is that you? What's going on in there?"

"Zoe don't come in here, or h-he'll kill me." Sam said as fast as she could.

As soon as she did so the hand was back on her throat almost immediately. She coughed and spluttered for a moment before adjusted to the lack of air once more.

"No one's going to come in." Zoe said in the most reassuring voice she could muster.

"Zoe! The police are here!" Called Linda from some distance away.

Still he and Sam heard it, and almost as soon as the word 'police' was mentioned Sam felt the hand around her throat slowly begin to tighten…

…

_**Since you guys couldn't seem to wait for next weekend, I got up an hour early this morning so I could leave you with a third cliffhanger… Enjoy!**_


	46. Chapter 46: Decisions

For a moment Sam felt as if he was about to strangle her. His hand kept on tightening to the point where it almost cut off of her oxygen supply entirely, leaving her to force as much air as she could down into her lungs.

However, something about the way he was breathing in her ear told her that he was in a different place in his mind. The raggedness of it suggested to her that he wasn't concentrating on the scene around him; instead he was trying to think up a plan now that he was caught like a rat in a trap.

It took him nearly two minutes to think of something to say or do, and those two minutes ended up being the longest of her life, as her head had begun to cloud over through oxygen deprivation.

One second Sam had found herself unintentionally leaning against him for support after his fingers had slackened enough for her to take a breath, the next she was shunted across the room and straight into the door of one of the lockers. It shook alarmingly and for a moment Sam thought she was going to be crushed, but thankfully it managed to right itself.

Her heart was racing, her chest heaving as she took in as much air as she possibly could. To her it felt as if she had just ran the London marathon, and she would have given anything at this moment for that to be true, but instead she found her ears tuning into what her rapist was yelling at the closed door.

"…and I swear to god I will kill that dumb bitch if you don't get the police out of here now!" He finished, taking several huge breaths in a fruitless effort to calm himself.

"Please just try and stay calm, we are only here to ensure no one gets hurt" Shouted a voice that Sam recognised as DI Tyler after several seconds.

"Well then back the hell off, or I will kill her!" He shouted as he turned around and stared at her.

The fierceness of his gaze made Sam instinctively shuffle backwards and she could not suppress the whimper that escaped her lips.

As she became more aware of her predicament she realized that her clothes were ripped and torn to the point where most of them were dropping off of her. She hastily tried to pull sleeves and sections of fabric over herself to cover up, and received a mirthless laugh form the direction of the doorway as she did so.

"You want my demands yet?" He shouted as he looked at Sam with disgust.

There was a brief pause in which both he and Sam were sure they were debating whether or not to answer.

"What are your demands?" Shouted Zoe. Her voice was loud, she was standing right outside the door.

"I want a car waiting for me outside the entrance of the hospital, me and this bitch are leaving here unchallenged or I snap her damn neck."

Sam again found an involuntary whimper escaping her lips.

There was another pause in which several people could be heard muttering, just low enough not to be heard by her or by her captor. Sam knew that they wouldn't agree, how could they? It was there job to get the hostage out alive, after all…

"Fine." DI Tyler shouted back.

Sam suddenly felt her blood run cold. The smile that had faded from his lips now returned, colder than ever. Her mind had already begun reeling. Were they actually going to let her leave with this man?

"I'm coming out in 2 minutes." He said as he advanced on her.

He loomed over her and peered into her wide, fearful eyes. Sam didn't move, frozen out of fear once again. She didn't so much as flinch when he hauled her up off the ground forced her to stand on her shaking legs. She was wrapped up inside her own head.

As he headed towards the door he grabbed her wrist and she felt her legs automatically start to move along with him without input from her brain. He stood there for a moment, staring at the doo with his back turned to her.

"I'm coming out in one minute." He said loudly and clearly, snapping Sam from her stupor.

Just as she was about to wrench her wrist free from his grasp he quickly spun around and faced her, removing his hand from her wrist and placing it once again around her throat, except this time he did cut her oxygen supply off.

He leaned in until their noses were touching, grinning as she made startled choking sounds.

"Don't." He said in gruff tones "Mess me around when we get out of here. Got it?"

Sam could barely move her neck thanks to his hand but despite this she still managed a single stiff nod as she felt her face start to flush.

He smiled once more and his hand began to relax, allowing a small amount of air into her lungs.

At the exact Sam moment the door cam flying off of its hinges and everything went black.

…

_**Well another cliffhanger… **_

_**Except you only have to wait 1 day to see what happens next this time. **_


	47. Chapter 47: Burst

In truth, the world hadn't gone black from her passing out but from him and the door falling on her. His hand had slid from her throat down to her chest, where it rested in his unconscious state. The combined weight of him and the door wasn't as much as she was expecting, mostly because his body formed a cage around her, the top part of the door balancing precariously on the top of his head which prevented it from colliding with Sam's face.

Also luckily for her was the fact that she didn't have to stay in this position for very long, as barely a minute later the door was hauled off of her and him along with it. Zoe and Linda immediately rushed in and in seconds Sam found herself under the warmth and security of a blanket while her hair was stroked by a terrified looking Zoe.

She managed to give her a small smile despite her situation, and in response to this she received a Cheshire cat sized grin. She could feel cold air wherever the blanket and her clothes didn't cover, and started to become aware of how weak she must be looking.

"Have you got any pain anywhere?" Zoe asked as sweetly as she could.

"My ribs hurt a bit." Sam replied in the most even voice she could muster.

Sam felt a rush of cold air as Linda lifted up the blanket and prodded her ribs one by one, making her wince a little.

"You're lucky. They're only bruised. A couple of weeks and you'll be fine." Linda said with a smile.

Sam nodded and stared over at the figure they were hoisting onto a trolley. He was still unconscious, his arms dangling off of the trolley. In that position he almost resembled a helpless child, which Sam found bizarre. She had painted him to be some kind of monster in her mind but now with his head lolling about as they wheeled him away he looked no more threatening than any other patient she had ever seen, in fact many of them looked more threatening than he did.

"What's going to happen to him?"

"The police are escorting him St James; they don't think we can treat him properly after everything that's happened." Zoe replied with a cold edge to her voice. "He's going straight down the station after that."

Sam let a sigh of relief escape her as she nodded.

"As for you... The police are going to want to talk to you about everything that's happened."

"I know. I'll talk to them." Sam replied quietly.

"We'll get you into a private room first, and make sure that there are no other injuries." Linda said as she stretched the blanket over her.

"Sam I have a question for you." Zoe said in an awkward tone.

Sam shuffled round so she was facing her, giving her a look that could have mean anything while she patient waited for the mystery question.

"So I know the answer to this is probably obvious but… That is him isn't it?" Zoe said quietly.

Sam merely stared up at the ceiling and nodded once more.

Zoe ceased the stroking of her hair and glanced over to Tess, who was standing a couple of paces away with a trolley. Sam followed her glance and sighed deeply. She now had to spend a load of time staring up at some ceiling while she twiddled her thumbs waiting to be discharged.

…

Three hours later and she was doing exactly that after talking for about half an hour with the police who squeezed every last minute detail out of her. Zoe was now snoring peacefully at her bedside, clearly worn out from the day's events. She had tried to keep the steady flow running down her face accompanied with gentle sobs as quiet as she could, not wanting anyone to see her weakened once again.

Unfortunately for her Zoe chose that exact moment to wake up and was greeted by Sam's tear stained face.

Zoe immediately reached over and placed a hand on her cheek, wiping the newest stream of tears before reaching over and handing her a tissue.

"Sam…" She murmured softly, placing a hand gingerly on her shoulder.

Sam immediately shrugged her off and blinked rapidly, attempting to stem the flood of tears without the aid of the tissue.

"Zoe... Um C-Can you give me a few minutes to myself please?" Sam said, forcing a smile.

"Sam I don't think-"

"Please Zoe, just give me a moment." Sam said more forcefully than the first time.

Zoe let out a long sigh and nodded, clopping out of the room and shutting the door gently behind her.

As soon as she left the tears began to fall thick and fast, cascading down her cheeks until her eyes stung and then sheets around her were soaked. She kept the gentle sobbing sounds to a minimum in the hope that if Zoe was standing nearby she would not be able to hear her, but unfortunately it appeared she was out of luck.

Sam refused to look up and meet Zoe with her tear strained expression, and so stared at her soaked lap.

The door was opened quietly, just loud enough for Sam to hear a slight creak but nothing more. She heard someone enter the room, and shut the door quietly behind them.

They walked slowly up to her seated position on the bed and placed a hand on her back, rubbing it gently. Sam gave a nod of thanks and looked up.

She nearly screamed.

…

_**I may update again a bit later tonight since there is a point I really want to finish on this weekend, but it'll probably be a shorter chapter. **_


	48. Chapter 48: History repeats

Sam stumbled out of the door, her eyes bloodshot and her vision blurry. She headed in the direction of the distorted outline of the lift and pulled her jacket back over shoulders, covering her exposed chest as the gown slipped down further.

His laugh was playing around in her mind like a broken record, and as she bashed on the lift button and threw herself in once the door had shut she found herself on all fours as she threw up.

Nothing made sense anymore. She didn't want to live, she didn't want to die. He had touched her the same way his brother had, except he was driven by pure hatred of the person who had landed his brother a police escort to jail after a hospital stay.

The words he had spoken during the ordeal he put her through played through her mind over the top of his laugh, making her squeeze her eyes shut and curl into a ball.

"_Why didn't you just listen to him? Why cause all of this trouble…"_

"_The media already have your sob story, if you're wondering how I found out"_

"_You know you deserve this…"_

"_You like it! Say you like it or you will regret it!"_

"_SAY IT!"_

Sam felt her last nerve snap as the last thing he had said to her before he finished and ran from the room played through her mind. She struggled to her feet, jamming the button on the panel which would bring her out a few feet away from the entrance.

As soon as the lift started to move she began to feel ill again, and when the doors opened she was forced to push back the waves of sickness and stumble out of the lift and the entrance.

She stared up at the hospital for a moment, more lost than she had felt in the last two months. Once again she had been a victim of a crime.

Once again she had been raped.

With that thought she ran into the night.


	49. Chapter 49: Gone

The ambulance was moving dangerously fast in the gale force winds that were sweeping over the country, fast enough to be knocked over like a bowling pin. The inhabitants didn't care. Tess, Zoe, Dixie and DI Tyler were all inside, while Linda, Tom, Jeff and Mr. Jordan were all in Jordan's car attempting to keep up behind.

Luckily for all of them Sam had grabbed her jacket and her phone was still on, giving the Police a way to track her. It was clear that she was on foot, and that she had left several hours earlier than them, for she was still several miles away from their currant position, standing on some beach.

At one point it appeared she was on a vehicle, possibly a bus for she seemed to moving fairly fast to wherever her destination was.

Zoe was replaying the moment she realized Sam was gone in her mind. She had walked into the room which had been ransacked and shouted for help, before noticing that her jacket was gone from the pile of clothes and there was a blood trail leading out of the room.

Zoe and Tess had fearfully followed this, expecting the worst but came up with nothing as whoever it belonged to had grabbed a few bandages from the storage room and wrapped them around whatever was bleeding, ending the trail.

After about two or three hours of frantically searching the hospital the DNA test they ran on the blood trail came back and it was revealed that the blood wasn't Sam's, forcing them to accept that she was not on hospital grounds. As it turned out while they were searching the hospital DI Tyler had been working on getting her phone traced, to which they responded by jumping in the nearest ambulance and heading out as quickly as they could.

…

Half an hour later they were wrapping their jackets tightly around themselves and heading out of the vehicles. Zoe and Tess leaped out of the ambulance and begun gazing around the beach, desperately looking for any trace of her.

"Sam!" Zoe shouted, but her voice was immediately whipped away by the wind.

"Sam can you hear me?" Tess shouted.

Pretty soon everyone was hollering her name into the wind from where they stood in a group, none of them looking forwards to the point where they all had to move out, for the wind was beginning to howl and shriek around them.

"Stick close together and follow me!" Bellowed Jordan as he pulled a torch out of his pocket.

And so they set off, meandering around the beach yelling her name and looking for anything that remotely resembled her. The wind confused their senses, making them think Sam had called back when in reality it was only the whistling wind a few times, and they often though the odd statue that looked as if it was getting it's ankles bathed in freezing water every few minutes was Sam.

"It's no use!" Shouted DI Tyler, "the GPS isn't working in this weather and the tide is coming in, not to mention this beach is massive!"

"You can turn back if you want! We're staying until we find her!" Zoe shouted in reply.

"You have about three minutes until we're all underwater!" Yelled DI Tyler over another bout of shrieking wind.

"Then we stay as long as we can!" Replied Tess.

The searched continued in silence save for the wind and several more fruitless cries, which eventually petered out. It was then they noticed something odd about the 'statue' on the beach.

"Is that _moving?" _ Zoe shouted, staring at it at first in disbelief and then in realization. "SAM!"

"Sam stop!"

"Sam don't!

"SAM!"

They watched in horror as she kept walking towards the increasingly high tide, to the point where only he head and chest were visible. Zoe and Jordan ordered everyone else to stay back while they pushed forwards at an infuriatingly slow pace thanks to the icy water that was around their waists.

The only part of Sam visible now was her head, and that soon began to disappear also as she pushed herself further and further towards the sea. Zoe and Nick began swimming towards her now, desperately trying to reach her before she was submerged entirely.

They were too late, and were forced to watch in horror as the crown of her head disappeared below the toiling waves as they were pushed backwards by the sheer force of the water.

Sam was gone.

…

_**After nearly 50 chapters I finally get back around to where I started. **_

_**Funny thing is I originally intended this to be about 10 chapters long… Hmm.**_

_**Quick question for everyone: Do you want Dylan to make an appearance or not?**_

_**I'll go with the majority vote on that one. **_


	50. Chapter 50: Boxed in

_Sam tore through the streets as fast as her legs would allow her to, turning this way and that with no clear direction in mind. She could hear their voices yelling her name as she became further and further out of their reach. _

_She had ended everything. The remembered walking into the water and waking up in this dream world, where by some miracle she had complete control of her movements instead of feeling as though she was watching her life play out before her on a screen. She also remembered something pulling her from the water just before she lost consciousness completely, but she could no more reach that outside world than she could stop running. _

_She glanced over her shoulder for a couple of seconds and noticed that they were falling further and further behind her, as though they were giving up the chase. In reality it wasn't just them she was running from, but what was behind them. _

_It was a sheet of nothingness that obliterated everything in its path: buildings, people, entire countries or continents if it so desired. It was killing every single spark of life in her mind, and so she turned and continued to run with the last piece of sanity she had left. _

_She could not control it on her own, even though she knew that it was part of her just as everything else here was. She had glanced through a few of the windows she had passed and seen quite a few old memories staring back at her as though they were happening as she was running. She'd seen a day at the beach with her parents before they had left, she'd seen the endless war stories her grandfather used to tell her acted out in front of her exactly how she had imagined them to be, and worst of all she had seen the first brother in the alleyway, and the second in the private hospital room. _

_She turned back once more and immediately noticed that she sheet was much closer than it was before, or more specifically it was much closer to the brothers. Sam turned back and stared in amazement as it rippled around them just as it did everything else before landing on them and destroying them completely. _

_She almost felt like smiling, and probably would have if she wasn't so terrified. As she turned back around to continue her journey one more she begun to settle on the conclusion that this was a fruitless attempt to escape what was in her own mind. _

_She could not outrun it, out think it or out smart it because it was a part of her, just as this place was. Whatever was causing her to be trapped in this seemingly endless nightmare was living in her mind just as she was, and because of that she could not stop it. _

_So instead she did the only thing she could do, she turned around and embraced the rippling folds of this thing. _

_It swallowed her in seconds, and for a moment she felt nothing except sheer cold. It was unrelenting, she tried to move but it had frozen every bone in her body, tried to scream but sound failed her._

_The feeling was quickly banished by another, a jolting feeling. It was as though she was be struck by lightning over and over again, except she couldn't see the lightning only feel it on her chest. _

_This feeling in turn ebbed away, and Sam felt as though she was being forced back into another pocket of her mind. Once she reached her destination the darkness around her began to take shape and form something altogether a lot more colourful. _

_Sam had always heard the stories about how people put negative emotions and bad memories in a box in the back of their minds, but never really thought that the box could have materialised into a physical form. She stared around her at the machine gun fire whizzing over her head and look over at the alleyway, hanging there suspended with the exact appearance it had had just before she was attacked. _

_As she continued to watch she saw herself being shoved into it by him, and saw him push her onto the ground. She turned away at the point and covered her ears, not wanting to hear her cries or the machine gun fire a second longer. _

_Suddenly a new sound joined the midst, loud enough to blight any of the other sounds; or rather they seemed to fade away as soon as it had started. _

_Sam felt her eyes snap open at this sound and she wheeled around to see where it was coming from. She could see herself as a child running around in a playground, and a few of her old friends crossed in and out of the memory before everything changed once more. _

_The brothers were standing some distance away, staring at the memory also. They weren't a part of it; they were simply observing along with her. They seemed to be laughing along with the children, though no sound came out of her mouths. _

_Sam frowned a little. Why could a positive memory be wrapped up in all the negative ones that exist here?_

_Suddenly more memories started to appear around her. She recognised many and some she had not called upon in a long time. They were both positive and negative, and the box they were filling as being forced to expand as it struggled to fit them all. _

_Sam found herself standing in the playground watching as the children ran around in front of her when another shock took hold of her and forced her to the ground._

_Again she could feel it in her chest, like a million lightning bolts were being threaded around her body. _

_The box began to disappear and its contents was fading along with it. Sam was alone once more. _

_Another electric shock took hold of her and she felt unconscious in her mind, as well as her body. _

…

"Charge to 360!"

"Clear!"

Sam's body jerked upwards before falling onto the trolley in the ambulance for the seventh time. Tom quickly felt her neck for a pulse while Tess pumped more air into her lungs.

"We have output!" Tom shouted triumphantly. "It's very weak but we still have output!"

There was a cheer in the crowded ambulance as they raced to the nearest hospital, several with red blankets wrapped around them.

"We're not out of the woods yet people" Jordan warned as her heart rate began to falter.

"We won't give up on her, Zoe." Linda said to the ashen figure cradling Sam's hand while Dixie held a blanket around her. "I promise."

…

_**Massive thanks to everyone who's reading this story and thank you so much for the kind words… Seriously you guys are the best :) **_

_**Your ideas about what's going to happen next are really interesting… Please keep those coming they're giving me a good idea of how well I'm writing the mass off jumbled up ideas that's called my 'plan'. **_

_**Ok So I've read everyone's comments about the Dylan situation and I just want to clarify: this isn't going to turn into a Sam/Dylan romance thing, I think there are enough of those at the moment. It will probably be a fairly minor part but he will be included at a later date thanks to the majority of you wanting him to make an appearance. **_

_**Retardedfish97: The 'Sam was gone' thing was just to end the chapter and I meant gone as in out of their sight line not gone as in dead…Well maybe not yet anyway… Sorry if that was a little unclear :)**_


	51. Chapter 51: Hopelessness

As Zoe stared at her friend's pale complexion she began to allow her mind to drift backwards to the events of two days ago.

Two minutes. It had taken one hundred and twenty seconds for everyone to get a strong enough grip on Sam to wrench her out of the waves and carry her as quickly as possible back to the ambulance.

By the time they had pulled up at the ED Sam was barely breathing, forcing them to put her on a ventilator as soon as they had rushed her into recess. The rest of that day had been touch and go, it involved wheeling her from ED to intensive care and to numerous rooms for tests and scans all the while a defibrillator was carted around behind them by Tom, just in case.

None of them had slept for the fear of missing something important or Sam taking a turn for the worse if they did. Everyone couple of hours someone would nip into the private room Sam was in along with Zoe and make sure that they were both still breathing, for Zoe hadn't moved since she had sat down on the chair beside Sam's bed and taken hold of her hand.

Everyone else was camped out in the staff room just down the end of the same corridor, Linda doing coffee rounds now and then to keep everyone awake, albeit looking like Zombies.

They were all anxiously awaiting the second half of the test results after the blood work and X-Rays had come back clear with bated breath and praying that she woke up soon, but deep down several of them had begun to lose hope. It had only been two days, but they had the fact that Sam had willingly walked into that icy water without as much as a look back playing on their minds. She wanted everything to end.

There was cause to argue that she would never awake, simply because she didn't want to exist any longer. Though it wasn't scientific, it was on the minds of everyone including Zoe who sat holding her had as though it was made of glass.

No one had bothered to tell Zoe how bleak Sam's prognosis was looking in her eyes, for it was clear by her haunted expression that she already knew.

"Come on Sam, you're tougher than that…" Zoe muttered to herself as she ran through the moment Sam had walked into the waves in her mind once more.

There was a quiet knock on the door and Zoe jerked her head up and came face to face with Jordan and Tess, who were holding several sheets of paper in her hand.

"Is that…?" Zoe said, not daring to say the phrase 'test results' out loud.

"Yes. It's bad new I'm afraid." Jordan replied, giving her the same look she had seen him give bereaved relatives countless times.

Zoe took a deep breath and nodded. "What's wrong with her?"

…

Tess walked out of the room as soon as Jordan started to talk Zoe through everything they had found out and their options for what could be the end of her life, unable to hear it again. She walked towards the staff room but didn't go inside, instead standing next to the wooden door and listening to everyone's reactions.

"I- I can't get my head around this." Tom muttered after a long silence.

"Me neither." Linda said in a dulcet tone.

"I can't believe that she's never going to walk into ED again…" Tess heard Dixie mutter from some distance away.

"Don't say that. There's still hope, however slim." Jeff countered.

"Slim? There's no hope Jeff." Tom said dully. "She's not going to get better; we may as well just accept that."

"Oi!" Barked Tess from the doorway. "You want to give up on her? Fine. You do that, but you keep it out of this hospital and more importantly away from the people who still have faith in Sam. There isn't anything we can do but pray for her to wake up and for the man who bought her to the choice she made that night to be brought to justice."

Tom made a noise and looked at the ground. "What good is praying? It's not going to do a damn thing, Tess"

"No, maybe you're right. But it can't do anything to harm Sam and what would you rather do, camp out in this room feeling sorry for yourself until we find out what the end to this chapter in our lives is?" Tess said as forcefully as she could. "Come on! All of you… you can't just give up on her! She's your friend and colleague and you know she wouldn't give up on any of you so why are you giving up on her?"

"Tess is right." Jeff said, standing up and crossing the room in a few strides to stand beside her. "She may be in a bad way now, but there's no guarantee that she won't wake up tomorrow and be right as reign."

"Jeff she's in a coma!" Tom sad angrily, standing up. "It's not like she just had a bit too much to drink and hasn't woken up from some hangover!"

Tess was about to reply but was cut off by a piercing scream coming from the direction of Sam's room.

"Nick must have told Zoe…" Tess muttered sadly.

No one replied.

…

_**So first I tease you for 50 chapters with the whole 'is she going to die?!' thing, and now you have to wait and see if she wakes up or dies now. Hehe… sorry!**_

_**All I can say is this won't be dragged out for nearly as long. **_


	52. Chapter 52: Professionalism

DI Tyler had been staring at the name of Sam's rapist for the last three hours. She was supposed to be sorting through the mountain of paperwork that had accumulated on her desk but found herself unable to get her mind off of the woman who was lying in a hospital bed because she had failed her.

It was her job to protect Sam and now she was lying on some hospital bed with tubes down her throat.

She should have known, should have guessed that he wouldn't have given up so easily. At least now he was sitting in a cell waiting for justice to be done. The only issue left was his accomplice, the one who had left a partial fingerprint at the scene of the first rape when they had removed all other DNA evidence.

In twenty minutes they were all heading to where it was suspected that they both lived, and arresting the second man if he was stupid enough to still be there. That was the only thing that made DI Tyler want to get up in the morning: justice for Sam.

She raised her head for the first time in nearly an hour and felt waves of cramp emanate from her back right up to her neck, warning her that she wasn't a teenager anymore and couldn't recover as quickly from stiffness. She didn't care.

She stood up slowly and tucked her high back leather chair behind her desk before heading out of the office and into the corridor.

The usual traffic of cops and criminals was winding it's way around the station, and for a moment DI Tyler felt a little less like the entire world and just ended. Well, for a moment at least.

She saw the woman running up to her out of the corner of her eye, and chose to ignore her for a few seconds in the hope that she was wrong. But alas, the familiar round-faced officer marched straight u tp her and tapped her shoulder gently.

"DI Tyler." She said formally.

"PC Rowan. What can I do for you?"

"Everyone is gathered down in reception, we're ready to go on your command." The woman replied, staring up at her unreadable expression.

"Thank you, PC Rowan. Tell them I'll be down in a minute."

"DI Tyler?"

"Is there something else?"

"How are you feeling?"

"Meet me downstairs, that will be all."

…

They pulled up outside the house in a matter of minutes, eight officers crammed into a minibus with a police car following on behind. DI Tyler was the last to step out, and took a moment to stare up at the mansion they were going to have to search every inch of.

PC Rowan's voice snapped her out of her momentary daydream in which she pictured Sam lying in a hospital bed with all her co workers around her.

"Ma'am? Are we going in or not?" Asked an officer nearby.

"Yes. Proceed." DI Tyler replied as she continued staring up at the house.

The next few minutes involved the word 'police' being shouted several times and people black in bullet proof jackets flitting around a large home shouting 'clear' once they reached a new room.

DI Tyler walked in slowly behind them, following the sounds of scuffling and shouting until she came across the room to which the sounds belonged. She was greeted with the site of an unshaven an thrashing around in a drunken rage while two officers attempted to pin him down long enough to place the handcuffs around his wrists.

She didn't exactly know what to feel as she stared at the man, for she knew immediately that he had some kind of close relation to the man in custody. She felt cold inside, the type of cold that numbs all of your senses and makes you do things that you would never normally have the nerve for.

She thought for a moment what it would be like to drop her guard and exact the kind of revenge that Sam deserved. She watched him writhing around for a few moments more, before shaking the feeling form her system.

She was a police officer, not a hooligan.

She knelt down close to his face, but not close enough to come into contact with the blows he was aiming at her.

"Stop moving. _Now._" She said with terrifying calm.

Something in his voice got through to her even in his drunken state, and he lay still which allowed the officers behind him to finally get the cuffs around his skinny wrists.

"I know what you did. We _all _know. You found her lying in a hospital bed after your brother had hurt her once again and you finished the job, didn't you? You raped her. Now I don't know what kind of sick bastard does something like that but I intend to pick apart every brain cell in your head until I have my answer and until Sam get's justice" DI Tyler said with an expression that could have turned the most hardened criminal's legs to jelly.

"You won't get nothin' outta me." He said, giving her a taste of his foul breath.

She stood up and turned away as his rights were read to him, before turning back and giving him a mysterious smile.

It was going to be a long night.

…

_**Ok so I have another question: Do you want Sam to get into a relationship in this story and if so, who? If not, why? (Though I already said I don't want this turning into a Sam/Dylan thing, if that's who you want give me a reason and I'll consider it) **_


	53. Chapter 53: What if

"_She's going to be fine." Zoe said a short distance away to the man who was the parent of the child she had been looking after. _

_The five year old girl had been involved in a major RTC, and was supposed to have been Sam's patient but she got into work late and was being forced to pick up another shift as more filed in from the same crash._

_Sam smiled in spite of the fact she had another 9 hours to go and she needed a coffee break before she couldn't function any longer. As filed several patents notes back into their appropriate places she turned around and came face to face with Tom, who gave her a smile. _

"_You look like you could use a break." He said light heartedly. _

"_You got that right." Sam replied, smiling back. _

"_Look I can cover you for 10 minutes if you want."_

"_Thanks a lot" Sam said as she nodded. _

_Tom nodded back grabbed a file off of the desk, turning around to treat the nearest patient. _

"_Michael Rayner!" Sam heard him call as she walked towards the exit. _

"_Sam!" Zoe barked, making her freeze in her tracks. _

_Sam spun around and came face to face with yet another patient on a trolley from the RTC, who appeared to have had his leg cut wide open by a large shard of glass. _

_So much for that coffee break then. _

_The next few hours went by in the same manner, Sam attempting to sneak away for 5 minutes to get a coffee break but always getting pulled back by someone or another to treat a black eye or a broken arm. Or rather things did go by like this until Tess approached her at reception. _

"_Have you seen Zoe?" She asked quietly, grabbing her arm and bringing her over to one side. _

"_No, why?" Sam asked, confused by the dark look on her face. _

"_She's been saying that there are two men following her, but neither I nor Tom have seen them, have you seen any scruffy looking men in hoodies around?"_

"_Can't say that I have. Want me to go and look for her?" Sam asked, a look of concern appearing on her face. _

"_Well if you could quickly have a look outside I'd be grateful." _

"_No problem and Tess I'm sure she's fine. This is Zoe we're talking about."_

_Tess smiled as Sam headed out of the ED doors, looking for Zoe's favourite parking spot. Instead she found her harassing a patient.. _

"_..where's that other man gone? Tell me!"_

"_Zoe! What's going on?" Sam said as she ran over to the man she was harassing. _

"_Tell me!" Zoe shouted grabbing the startled man by the shoulders. _

"_I don't know what you're-" _

"_Zoe get off of him!" Sam shouted as she grabbed her arm and pulled her away. _

"_What the hell are you doing?" She hissed when they were a few metres away._

"_None of your business." Zoe said flatly as she wrenched her arm free and headed back in the direction of the man. _

"_Zoe get back inside!"_

"_Why are you following me?" She yelled, grabbing at his shoulders once more. _

"_ZOE!" Nick Jordan bellowed from behind them both._

_Zoe's arm immediately dropped to her sides as she headed towards him. He nodded at Sam and then at the door, making it clear she was not to stick around. She gave him a small smile and headed back in, trying to block the shouting from her mind as she did so. _

…

_Following the rest of the gruelling double shift Sam opened the door to her locker and slipped her coat over her shoulders. She listened for a moment to the laughter and banter form everyone in the staff room before heading to the door. _

_She was just about to grab the handle when Tess opened the door in front of her and yanked her out and over to a cubicle. _

"_Tess what-"_

"_Brace yourself. She only wants you to treat her." Tess warned. _

_Sam threw back the curtain and stepped inside and found herself face to face with Zoe. Most of her clothes were off save for her bra and she had a blanket wrapped around her. There were bruises and cuts all over her body and she was rocking back and forth. _

"_What happened?" Sam asked as she threw of her coat and began to look at the cuts on her face. _

"_She was raped. I found her in an alleyway."_

…

_**So I felt the need to do a 'what if?' dream for Sam… hope it reads ok. **_

_**I've been reading your comments and views on the whole relationship status thing and I'd really like it if you kept those coming... I'm still trying to decide. **_


	54. Chapter 54: Assumed identity

DI Tyler sat across the table from the man she finally had a name for after nearly a week of searching. She stared at his expression for a few moments, trying in vain to unravel all she could from his cold look. All she could decipher was that he looked rather bored with the proceedings.

He was leaning back in the chair as far as he could without tipping it onto its back legs, and his arms were waving around at the back of the chair.

"I'm showing the suspect item 233D. Recognise these trainers?" She asked, shunting a clear plastic bag that contained a pair of badly burnt trainers which were covered in mud forward.

He glanced at them for barely a second before settling his cold gaze upon her.

"I'm not sure anyone would recognise those."

"Hmm. Funny, I thought you might considering they were found buried in your back garden, and by the soil analysis we ran on all that mud I can tell they were buried approximately 2 months ago. Ringing any bells?"

He leaned forwards and placed his hands on the desk, interlocking his fingers as he did so.

"No, and I don't see how that's relevant."

"Well, before Dr Nicholls, or shall I say the woman you held hostage and attempted to rape in the locker room fell into a coma she named you as her attacker 2 months ago in an alleyway. Funny thing is the footprints we got out of the alleyway before _someone _cleaned it up matches the piece of sole we were able to salvage from these trainers."

"Sam's in a coma? Oh _poor thing! _Do remind me to send some flowers." He said in a sickly sweet tone.

DI Tyler's jaw worked. The trap was obvious: show some amount of emotion towards the case and he would have a field day. It was time for some quick thinking.

"I'm showing the suspect item 234D." DI Tyler said once again for the benefit of the tape. "Recognise this?"

DI Tyler shunted another bag across the table containing the jacket Sam was wearing the day she entered the locker room and was attacked. He stared at it for a moment with his eyebrows raised.

"You know I recognise it." He said slowly. "This was the jacket she was wearing in the locker room... though she wasn't wearing it for very long"

"So you admit to attempting to rape Samantha Nicholls?" DI Tyler said, choosing to ignore his latest attempt to bait her.

"Yes, yes whatever you say." He said waving as hand as though attempting to brush the matter aside. "Now please get to the _point _detective. I'm sure you didn't go to the trouble of dragging me out of those god forsaken cells just to dredge up what you already know."

"Given the overwhelming evidence against you for the rape of Samantha Nicholls two months ago I was hoping for a second confession." She replied, shunting the trainers toward once more.

"I'd hardly call a pair of burnt up old trainers _'overwhelming evidence'" _He snorted, using his fingers to sketch quotation marks in mid air.

"You want overwhelming evidence? Fine. How about the fact that we have the telephone call _you _made to the press telling them the identity of the rape victim, and we've been comparing your voice to the caller's since this interview started? How about the fact that you were seen by several witnesses around the hospital the day of the victim's attack? Or maybe the fact that we picked up the track marks of _your _car outside the alleyway after you left her there that night? The only thing that doesn't add up in this entire case is that as far as we can tell you are a complete stranger to the victim."

It took him until the last comment to make any kind of movement and all he did was sit back and glare at her triumphantly, as though daring her to ask what he knew that she didn't.

"I can see that you think you have one over me, and I can also see that you think that you in all your holier-than-thou demeanour and arrogance think that you can get off these charges without a lawyer present. So tell me, what is it that I don't know about you?"

The overconfident smile that had formed upon his lips grew wider and wider by the moment.

"You may know me by my altered name and assumed identity, but what you don't know is what could hurt you. I know Sam Nichols and I'm sure if she could cast her mind back a decade she would remember me too, and she would now that she deserved every ounce of pain I have ever caused her."

…

_**I'm updating now because I probably won't be able to update on Friday. **_

_**I've been thinking quite a lot about this relationship thing and I agree with Sam2012Nicholls, it may be a little out of character and I'm not entirely sure who I'd put her with. That's not to say I won't put her in a relationship… it's just at this present moment in time I'm not really focussing on that part of the story. **_

_**Just to clarify Dylan will make an appearance but I don't want to say what role he would play just yet… but I will say he won't be around for a while. **_


	55. Chapter 55: Morse code

DI Tyler stared at him in complete confusion. She had expected that on some level he knew her but by the way he was talking and the cold expression on her face it looked as though he knew her very well.

"Care to elaborate?" She asked after a lengthy silence.

He leaned back on his chair and gave her a cold smile, something that was very quickly becoming his signature expression. It was a good minute or so before he opened his mouth and a few seconds after that before any sound came out.

"No comment." He said simply, daring her to push him further with a penetrating gaze.

Instead DI Tyler merely shook her head and sighed. "Well that's fine. You can stew in the cells until you're ready to divulge this _great secret._ Interview suspended."

With that she stood up and walked slowly over to the door before opening it. She nodded to the two policemen who were standing nearby and they immediately walked n and grabbed him by his upper arms and moved him back down the maze of corridors into the cells.

For a moment she stood just outside the interview room and watched him go, his cold eyes still fixated on her own before he disappeared around the corner of the corridor. As she stood and stared at the spot he had recently vacated a shudder worked its way up her spine. She had been doing this jobs for a while now and it took some kind of crazy to get under her skin, unfortunately for him he was exactly this kind of person.

It was unfortunate for him rather than her because seeing someone so void of humanity made her push her team further and further until she obtained a result, which generally meant a conviction. However a couple of times it had been too late as the victim of whatever crime had been committed had already taken matters into their own hands and ended the life of the sick individual.

She knew it was her job to abide by the law, but sometimes she wondered if throwing sick freaks like that in jail was enough. Death did seem a far worthier punishment, especially for someone who stalks and rapes someone.

DI Tyler sighed and started to walk down the corridor to her office already running through plans in her head to ensure the evidence she had against this man was airtight.

It was going to be a long night.

…

After being shoved none too kindly into the cells and launching a verbal complaint about police brutality he settled down on the cold wooden bench in his cell and started to formulate a plan in his mind.

Whatever the cost was, he had to get out of here.

When he said cost, he didn't mean the money it would take to pay for his bail; he meant the cost it would have on his dear brother, who was currently presiding in a cell beside his.

Every now and then they would communicate via tapping Morse code on the surprisingly thin walls. For the last couple of nights his brother had been silent, clearly too wrapped up in his own melodrama. Tonight however turned out to be different.

The tapping started about two hours after he was been shunted into his cell, and was so faint despite everything being silent he barely heard it.

'_What did they want with you?' _His brother tapped through the wall.

As soon as the message had finished he slid his legs off of the bench and walked over to the adjacent wall.

'_Me to confess to raping Sam' _He tapped in reply.

'_Did you?'_

'_Pretty much' _

There was a long pause by which he assumed that his brother must have been seething on the other side of the wall.

'_Why?' _

'_Because I have absolutely no intention of getting sent down for this. That bitch got what she deserved' _

'_We can't prove that without revealing who we are.' _

'_Then we reveal ourselves, but only when the time is right.'_

'_No.' _isHis_his _ His brother tapped noticeably louder than the rest of the conversation. '_We can't reveal who we are, not after everything we did to get into this position.' _

'_I'm sorry but there's no other choice.'_

'_Don't do it.' _

'_I'm sorry.'_

He waited several moments for a reply, and after receiving nothing settled back down on the bench. He was painfully aware that regardless of the ties they had to Sam he had still committed two crimes on her, and basically terrorized her for two months. At least this way his actions may be understood, however messed up the revenge he got appeared to everyone else.

…

_**Haha I love the idea of Tom hitting one or both of them in the face Retardedfish97!**_

_**So the mystery of what Sam did to those two is still a mystery and I might as well tell you it's going to stay that way for quite a while longer… **_


	56. Chapter 56: Last chance

Zoe stood in the staff room facing everyone who had been there the night Sam decided to walk into the waves with a sullen expression on her face. She took a deep breath in front of the silent crowd before opening her mouth to speak.

"As you all know Sam has been laying in that bed for the past two weeks with no change to her condition." She began with an unusual croak to her voice. "All we've been able to do is run test after test in the hope that there might be one minute positive change, and there has been nothing. Her vitals are strong despite the fact she is on a ventilator but still she won't regain consciousness."

"We know all that." Tom interjected despondently. "What's your point?"

"My point, Tom, is that the reason could be she may not want to wake up. I know this isn't exactly scientific but there are many psychological theories out there suggesting that many patients with similar traumas to Sam's in their lives simply do not want to go on living because they fear what could happen next or are tired of the constant struggle."

"So you're telling us that we might as well let her die?" Tom asked irritably.

"You shut your mouth!" Jeff said angrily, standing up and facing Tom with a look of disgust. "I know you've had a tough few weeks, we all have, but there is no need to say stuff like that!"

Tom opened his mouth to respond but was beaten to the punch by Zoe, who had her arms raised for silence.

"Stop it, both of you! This isn't the time to be arguing with one and other while our friend's a vegetable in a hospital bed!"

"Your right... I'm sorry. I-I just miss her…" Tom said, looking down at the floor.

"It's fine mate. I didn't mean to snap." Jeff said kindly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Tom smiled and nodded before returning his gaze to Zoe. "So what's the plan."

"Well... I'm not sure if it will work but…"

"Zoe it's better to have a plan than have nothing at all like us." Tess said with a reassuring smile on her face. "Please, just tell us your idea."

"I think we should all go into Sam's room and say one thing, the memory that sticks out most in our minds about her or something we loved about her personality." Zoe said with a nervous look, as though she was attempting to judge how they would react.

"So you want us all to give her reasons to keep on living?" Dixie asked with a smile on her ace. "I think we can do that."

There were several nods in agreement and Tess stood up and nodded at the door.

"No time like the present." Tess said with a smile on her face.

"Wait... You don't think I'm going crazy?" Zoe asked with a sheepish grin on her face.

"Zoe I think you're a friend looking out for a friend. We all want Sam to get better and even if this does nothing... it's worth a shot." Linda said with a smile on her face.

Zoe nodded and smiled as everyone stood up and headed towards the door. She watched everyone leave one by one, first Jordan then Tom, Tess, Dixie, Linda, Jeff and finally Zoe herself headed out into the corridor and marched down into Sam's room.

They formed an arch around the pale woman's bed and stared at her expression with looks of fear and in some a little apprehension. It was several moments before anyone moved or spoke.

"So… Shall I go first?" Tom asked with an awkward expression on his face as he looked around at the nods of approval. "I loved- love- how in control you are all the time, Sam. Whether it comes from your army days or from pure guts you always knew how to keep everything and everyone under control when things look bleak for the hundreds of patients we've seen through recess together."

"I loved how even in light of everything you've been through you still found the courage to get back on your feet and keep going with your life." Jordan added, staring at her face with a look of sympathy.

"You were serious when you needed to be, but that didn't stop you from having a laugh with me and the girls in the pub when we all let our hair down." Linda said with a smile as she ran through a few fond memories in her head.

"Whenever we see you always have this big smile on your face, me and Jeff used to think it was glued there!" Dixie said fondly as she squeezed Jeff's hand.

"Yeah you brighten this place up, Sam. You really do princess." Jeff said as he returned the smile Dixie was giving him.

"You have respect, not just for my nurses and the patients, but for all your friends here and trust me Sam: you have plenty more than all of us." Tess said with a sad look on her face.

There was a long pause before everyone started to look to Zoe and see the silent sobs escaping her. Tom moved and placed a hand on her shoulder and she nodded in thanks before turning back and facing Sam.

"Sam… I've been with you from the start of this ordeal and I can honestly say that I haven't met anyone with the amount of bravery you've had to show to get through this. W-when I first found you in that alleyway, you looked so lost and alone and when I look at how you still fought your way back from those days where the nightmares of what happened haunted you and how you prepared yourself both physically and mentally to return to one of those most stressful jobs on earth, all I can say is that I'm in awe of you, and I'm telling you this as a friend and a doctor, you can't give up! You've made it this far so please, _please _just open your eyes and come back to us!"

"Wake up Sam… Please!" Linda pleaded, taking hold of one of her hands.

"Sam, come back to us." Jordan said as he took hold of the other.

"We all love you, please wake up and know that you're safe!" Tom said as he grasped her shoulder.

They all stayed in this position for a while, but how long exactly none of them could tell you. They were all too busy staring at their friend for the slightest movement, be it a slight twitch of her fingers or a shifting of an eyelid. Nothing came.

Slowly they all tuned into the sound of the heart rate monitor beeping steadily beside her bed and gradually began to let go of her hands and shoulders.

"It... didn't work…" Tom muttered as a heavy silence fell on them all.

"Let's…. Let's go." Linda said as she took Tess's shaking hand in her own and led the crying woman out.

Slowly but surely they all began to pull walk out of the room until Zoe was the last person in the room.

"Sam... We love you." She said as she finally succumbed to the sobs that were welling up inside of her.

…

It may have felt like seconds, minutes or hours ago that the soft click the door made as Zoe closed it echoed around the room but to Sam time didn't really have meaning. The sounds of her friends begging her to wake up were still ringing in her ears.

She slowly opened her eyes and smiled as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

…

_**And that is where I leave you until next weekend! Hope you enjoyed the chapter and thank you for continuing to review :)**_


	57. Chapter 57: Fresh air

For a moment Sam just stared at the ceiling trying to figure out exactly how she had come to be lying in a hospital bed. She moved her arm up and attempted to wipe the tear off of her face but her hand came into contact with something else before she was able to. She felt around plastic thing going into her mouth and down her throat until she was able to work what it was called: a ventilator.

She laid there for a few seconds wondering what exactly she was supposed to do, before remembering that she already knew how to take a ventilator out of someone's mouth. Except there was one problem: She'd never really thought about how difficult it would be to ease a tube out of her own throat.

After laying there for a few minutes more she decided that risking it was better than laying there with a plastic tube resting on her gag reflex. She slowly moved her hands up to the part protruding out of her mouth and began to lift it out at an angle so it made the bend from the back of her mouth to her throat with little difficulty. Well, in theory anyway.

Her eyes streamed as she resisted the temptation to cough, which would make her body move involuntarily and could spell an end to her bid for 'fresh' air. Her hands started to shake with the effort of holding the tube up not to mention the ache that was accumulating around her forearms through lack of use.

Somehow, after several tense minutes Sam managed to remove the ventilator from her throat and place it on the bed beside her before erupting into a coughing fit. She was sure that with all the noise she was making someone would run in and find her, and was shocked to find that no one did as she laid there taking in deep breaths.

Next she slid her legs gently off of the bed and onto the floor, enjoying how cold it was. Her legs ached a little as she moved towards the door and opened it, but that wasn't going to stop her from breaking out of the room she was in.

Once she made it into the corridor she placed a hand on the wall to ease the aches and pains caused by the unknown amount of time she had spent in a bed, and started to look around her.

She recognised the corridor; she had been up and down here many times. It was about five floors away from her destination, the only place she could think of to get of to get fresh air: the roof.

The fact that no one was around did not appear to bother her as she made her way slowly up the corridor and into the lift, but the fact that she was moving at about the same pace as someone 50 years her senior did.

As she finally nudged the correct lift button and watched the doors slide shut with a hiss she felt the desire to collapse onto the ground and rest her legs for a few minutes. Before she got the chance however the lift doors glided open and she stepped out onto the corridor once more.

There was no lift going directly up to the roof, and so she was forced to navigate a relatively short flight of stairs. Despite their small number to Sam there may well have been hundreds of them.

She navigated the first three with little difficulty, but when it came to the forth and fifth the strain on her legs simply became too much and she was forced to sit down and shuffle upwards. By the time she had made it to the top it wasn't just her legs that were aching, her arms had now joined in with the savage throbbing. But still, she kept going.

She crawled down the corridor and was forced to head butt the door open, luckily for her it wasn't particularly heavy.

The rush of cold air that hit her felt surprisingly good, and she found herself shuffling out into the wind and allowing her gown to flap around in the gust like a kite. She took in several deep lungfuls of air, before slowly standing up and hobbling over to the wall that lined the edge of the roof.

She ignored the ache in her legs and placed her arms on the ledge and leaned over, watching the ant-sized people go about their daily lives below her.

She recognised the fluorescent jackets of the ambulance view and the men and women running out of ED every so often in scrubs to help unload people from ambulances. For a moment she thought back to the day when she had awoken in that hospital bed after the rape and been so cold with everyone that she knew.

A painful feeling of regret crept up on her suddenly as she remembered how cold she had been to Zoe, the person who had opened her home to her and helped her recover enough to feel like a functioning part of society again.

She moved her hands gently over the dust and tiny stones that littered the top of the wall. For a moment she allowed her mind to drift away form here troubles and let her eyes and thoughts drift up to the sky.

The dust was made of particles that had fallen into the gravitational field of the earth, yanking them down until they came into contact with some solid object and there they rested until they were blown around by the wind or battered by the rain. Sam wondered for a moment what it would be like to be one of those dust particles in space, floating around endlessly until you are pulled in some alien direction by a distant planet which could suck you towards them until you are unable to escape their clutches, eternally blown around by the storms that occur until the planet itself ceases to be which could take millions and millions of years. Trapped for all that time in one hellish nightmare, stuck dreaming of the life you led before your direction changed…

Sam sighed as another single tear rolled down her cheek. These two brothers had even crept into her imaginings.

As she stood there she felt her knees began to shake and a weak sensation start to blossom at her ankles. She grabbed the ledge and hauled herself up onto it, taking the ever increasing weighty sensation off of her legs and pointedly ignoring the long drop behind her.

Sam felt as though up here, where she could see the start and end of everything she couldn't hide from her troubles.

The memory of the night she decided that her last act was going to be to die was still very hazy, and she couldn't remember how exactly she had come to be running onto a sandy beach in the dead of night. She could remember part of a dream where she felt as though her mind was cramming every last thought or memory she had ever had into a tiny box, and could remember another dream that put Zoe in place of her in this ever present nightmare.

Sam took a deep breath and allowed another sigh to escape her lips. The truth was even the scariest dream didn't hold a candle to the horrors of the memories that still plagued her mind. But something more was niggling at the back her of mind and had been ever since she had awoken less than an hour ago.

She knew something about those brothers, though whatever it was still evaded her as she searched through realms of memories. She had come to wonder if it had had anything to do with someone she knew or her life in the army, but every possible idea she had had concerning her previous occupations had drawn a blank. She kept wondering whether or not there was some deeper connection between her assailants and herself but whatever it was was either a hell of a long time ago or far too complicated…. Or both…

Suddenly a piercing cry cut across her thoughts.

"Sam! Don't jump!"

…

_**I was planning on updating yesterday but I didn't have time… sorry about that. **_


	58. Chapter 58: Laughing through pain

Sam looked over to where the rusting door she had come through was to see Linda and Zoe standing there, their faces ashen. She didn't quite know what to say as she was unsure of if she had heard them right.

"Wha?" Sam exclaimed.

"Sam please, I know you've been through a lot but this isn't going to sort your problems out!" Linsa said forcefully as she took a step forwards.

"Sam just get down and we can talk about this." Zoe said as she rushed forwards.

Sam stared at them both for a long moment. Her expression was apparently confusing them more than their actions were confusing her, for she was looking at them as though they had just lost the plot.

It took her a few seconds more to realize why they must have thought she was going to jump, for she had been so wrapped up in her trail of thought that she forgot she had taken the weight off of her legs by sitting on the wall with the sheer drop straight off the hospital roof behind.

After a few seconds later a smile appeared on her face as she felt laughter welling up inside of her at the scared looks on their faces. At first a small giggle escaped her lips, the next second she was gripping onto the wall for support as great waves of laughter shook her whole body and threatened to throw her off the roof.

"You…You think I was going to _kill…_Myself?" Sam said through snorts of laughter after she has finally calmed down enough to speak.

"Sam you do know where you are... don't you?" Linda said with concern in her tone.

"Of course I do!" Sam snapped in a tone that would have been perceived as hostile if there were not giggles still spilling out of her mouth. "It's the hospital roof."

"Ok good. And can you tell me what year it is?"

Sam did and they both instantly looked more relieved and relaxed, causing her to erupt into another fit of giggles.

"Sam what's… what's so funny?" Linda asked, a confused smile playing about her lips.

"You think I'm going to kill myself!" Sam said as another bout of laughter took hold.

"What's funny about that?" Zoe asked with a worried expression on her face.

"It's funny because I came up here for some fresh air, and my legs got too tired so I had to sit up here.. and now I can't get down…" Sam said with a sheepish grin on her face.

Suddenly Sam felt all the happiness and joy that was threatening to burst out of her evaporate, leaving her with a strange empty feeling. The smile on her face looked frozen as whatever had made her so happy seemed to be causing anguish.

She stayed still as an image of her wading into the icy cold tidal water flashed before her eyes.

"Oh god…" She muttered. "Why… why did I do that…"

"Sam?"

"Why did I try and kill myself? I'm not that person... I'm stronger than that…" Sam muttered as she looked down in despair.

"Sam will you let me help you down?" Zoe asked, moving forwards ever so slightly.

Sam looked up and stared at her face for a moment. She trusted these people wit her life, for she owed it to them that she survived everything so far at all. She gave Zoe a brief smile and nodded, allowing herself to be taken from her perch and with her arms round Zoe and Linda's shoulders, back to the room she had came from.

As she was walked towards the old rusted door a single tear rolled down her cheek once more.

…

_**Sorry short chapter today…. Next update will be later this week or next weekend. **_


	59. Chapter 59: Dangerous and moving

Sam watched as the people around her busied themselves with checking her vitals and shining lights in her eyes with a slight smile on her face. Her presence appeared to be lighting up everyone's expressions to the point where they seemed to be glowing.

Linda had hold of her wrist and was staring at the pink watch attached to her pocket as she took her pulse, making sure that the strong healthy heartbeat the heart rate monitor was reading was actually true. Tess was shining a light in her eyes and Tom was staring at the numerous scans they had taken of her body over the last few hours.

"Well Sam... Miraculously you seem to be fine!" Tom announced after conferring with Tess and Linda.

Sam nodded distractedly and sighed, the memory of the second brother attacking her still playing around in her head like a broken record.

"_Don't..Don't!" She heard herself scream._

"_Shut up!" He roared as he clamped a hand over her mouth…_

Sam sighed and tried to block out the rest of the memory as it circulated around her head, hunching her shoulders and squeezing her eyes shut with the effort.

"Sam? Hello?" Zoe said from the doorway. "Did you hear us? You're fine!"

"On the outside maybe…" Tess muttered as she watched Sam begin to rock back and forth.

"Sam?" Tom said gently as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

He was relieved to find that she didn't shake him off but was still concerned when she did not react in any other way either except continuing the steady rocking motion.

"Sam what's wrong?" Zoe asked as she clopped over to join everyone at her bedside.

"The room you put me in after he held me hostage…" She said slowly after pausing her rocking motion.

"The second brother came in and attacked you." Zoe finished.

Sam jerked her head up and stared at her with a look that could have meant anything.

"We all saw how ransacked that room was before we rushed out and found you… and we ran a few tests on you when you were in the coma... they all came back clear." Zoe said as gently as she could.

Sam nodded and looked back down again. "I-I feel weird."

"How to do you mean? Do you have a headache?" Tess said as she stared over at the heart rate monitor looking for the smallest abnormality.

"No not physically. I mean... I don't even know how long I've been unconscious" Sam muttered as she stared at the floor once again.

"It's been about a month and half." Tom replied with a hint of worry in his voice.

"Over a month… it's been over a month since everything with those brothers and weirdly enough it feels like it's been that long to me too even though I've been in this bed for what feels like forever" Sam said with frown.

"Well maybe you have, maybe it's just been one long sleep that's helped you gain perspective." Tess suggested.

"Is that even possible?"

"We don't know all that much about what people in comas dream about and the reactions to waking up again vary from person to person. I guess it's possible." Zoe said with a shrug.

Sam considered this for a moment. She felt different from the messed up mindset she had been in when she walked into the water, it was as though her mind had recovered while she was unconscious. She was about to ask more questions when a very familiar voice called form the hallway.

"Hey Zoe I need to tell y—Sam? You're awake?!" DI Tyler shouted.

Sam jerked her head up and gave her a small smile. "So it seems."

"Then I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but we've had to release the man who held you hostage on bail."

Sam stared at her for a moment like she had gone completely mad.

"What?! That's it. I'm discharging myself."

…

He rose from the bench in the reception of the police department with a large grin on his face as an officer walked over and removed the cuffs from around his wrists. The officer on the other hand looked none too pleased.

"Right. You're free to go by some miracle. Just stay away form Samantha Nicholls. Got it?" The officer told him in a gruff voice.

"Oh it was no miracle that I got free…_Money _my friend is the answer to all my problems. And rest assured I will be staying well away from the comatose form of Samantha Nicholls." He said in his usual sly voice.

The officer grunted as he turned and walked straight through the double doors and onto the street, staring at the passers-by before starting to head down the road himself. Or rather he would have if he didn't feel a pair of eyes on him as soon as he stepped onto the pavement.

He was standing some distance away, staring at him with an expression that was difficult to read past anger. His short ginger hair was blowing slightly in the breeze, and the beard that covered his chin and the lower part of his face made him look even more menacing.

The long jacket he was wearing was buttoned up to the top, his hands thrust deep into its pockets. They stayed still and stared at each other from about ten feet apart for several minutes before he finally decided to turn his back on this strange ginger man and continue up the road.

However he hadn't moved at that exact time in vein, he waited until he had memorized every last detail of the man's face.

Whoever he was, he was dangerous.

…

_**So who do you think the mystery guy is…?**_

_**I'll update again tomorrow. **_


	60. Chapter 60: The knife

"Sam? Are you with me?"

"Huh?"

Sam found herself sitting in Zoe's all too familiar living room following an hour long argument where everyone attempted to persuade her that leaving the safety of the hospital was a bad idea. Tom, Linda, Tess and Zoe had all argued that Sam was leaving a place of safety however Sam completely destroyed that argument by none too politely reminding them of the circumstances that had led her to attempt suicide and the only compromise they could come to was that Sam stayed with Zoe for a few weeks until she was feeling better.

The only down side of this was that DI Tyler had accompanied them back to Zoe's house and was perched on the sofa next to Sam, who was now staring at her with apprehension.

"So what's this big news?" Sam asked with an edge to her voice.

"Well like I said in the car we apprehended both of the brothers and had them in custody and we now know who they are." DI Tyler said.

"So what are their names?" Zoe asked as she perched herself on the arm of the sofa with a cup of coffee.

Sam felt an odd sense of recollection when she said their surnames, but could not trace where this feeling had come from.

"They looked English. They can't have been born with those surnames." Zoe said with a frown on her face as the glanced over at the piles of newspapers that were living on her coffee table with their faces on.

"No we don't think they were, it looks like they got their names changed to match a foreign country like India or-"

"Or Afghanistan." Finished Sam with a deep frown.

"Sam? Do you know something we don't?" Zoe asked as she leaned over to stare at her friend.

"I- I don't know…" Sam said after a brief pause. "They just sound familiar."

There was a moment of silence after she spoke which was broken by DI Tyler clearing her throat softly.

"There's something else I should tell you."

"What is it?" Zoe asked immediately.

"There is a court hearing in two weeks. That'll decide if there's enough evidence for this case to go to trial in a few months."

Sam felt her blood run cold as soon as she mentioned the words 'court hearing'. Zoe, noticing her discomfort dismounted her perch and walked over to rest a hand on Sam's shoulder to which She gave a grateful nod for.

"So will she have to see them at the hearing?" Zoe asked, asking one of the many questions that were buzzing around Sam's head.

"Oh, no there will be a screen up so you can't see them and they can't see you, and we can record what you are saying and play it live into the court room if you'd prefer. " DI Tyler said gently.

Sam nodded in thanks and rested her head on her knees as a wave of thoughts washed over her not unlike the icy could water had done a few weeks before.

"I'll go and make us all some sandwiches." Zoe said as she stood up and walked into the kitchen.

"How are you feeling?" DI Tyler asked as she placed a hand on Sam's back.

Sam sat up and shrugged her shoulders, which pretty much summed up how she felt. She felt like she was watching a tv program inside her mind where each side was debating whether or not the next few weeks of her life were going to be hell or finally give her the closure she needed. The only downside was that she couldn't seem to tune herself out this bizarre program.

"Here we go." Zoe said as the placed a plate of four sandwiches with what resembled a salad crammed into each onto the only free spot on the coffee table.

DI nodded gratefully and took one, munching into it happily along with Zoe. Sam on the other hand merely sat there and stared at them feasting. When DI Tyler got to about half was through her sandwich her phone suddenly started blaring out Britney, to which both Sam and Zoe both reacted to by moaning loudly.

DI Tyler smiled and went slightly red as she stood up and walked out of the living room to take the call.

The call must have lasted all of thirty seconds, but that thirty seconds changed the room from slightly tense to downright unbearable. Despite Sam and Zoe's best eavesdropping efforts the only word they managed to pick up out of that entire conversation was DI Tyler shouting 'WHAT?' before she returned o the living room with a furious expression on her face.

"What's happened?" Zoe asked as DI Tyler sat down beside Sam once again.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your first attacker had been released form police custody after his bail was paid." DI Tyler said in a monotone as she tried to process the information herself.

"WHAT?" Zoe and Sam yelled In Unison as Sam jumped to her feet.

"THAT'S IT!" Sam roared as she stormed over to where the kitchen was.

"Sam what are you doing?" Zoe shouted as she stood up and followed her.

"Going for a walk." Sam said stubbornly as she hoisted the jacket she had left on the kitchen counter over her shoulders and zipped it up.

"Sam at least let me come-"

"No. I need to clear my head." Sam said as she turned to face Zoe.

However something else had caught her attention. The knife Zoe had used to cut up the sandwiches was sitting on the counter beside where Zoe was standing.

"Sam please! Just give me a moment and we can go"

"No way. And don't you even think about following me." Sam said stubbornly as she pushed past Zoe and surreptitiously placed the knife in her pocket.

With that she stepped out into the night air and slammed the door behind her…

…

_**Pre warning: the next chapter is going to be a BIT gory…**_

_**I have an exam coming up that I need to revise for so I'm going to post tomorrow and Monday then I probably won't be posting again until early-mid Jan but I'll still be around so if you have any questions (other than what's going to happen next!) feel free to PM me. **_


	61. Chapter 61: Death

_**I think I went a bit too far… **_

_**Seriously if you've just eaten or don't like gore... Don't read. **_

…

It took mere seconds to pick the lock with the knife and gently push open the door, wincing slightly as a creek echoed down the long hallway. The next few seconds of standing as still as a statue and listening for the slightest sound which would tell the intruder that their target was awake was inevitably tense but was soon followed with relief after listening for over a minute with not so much as a whisper being heard.

Now came the fun part of searching every single room of this large house until they found their target and made their reason for being in the vicinity of this man clear.

The first room they came across was to the left of the hallway, and turned out to be a kitchen complete with Victorian looking range and black and white tiles. It was clear however no one resided in this room and so they turned their attention back to the hallway.

The moonlight seeping through the window at the end of the hallway was casting an eerie light over everything and setting them on guard; the night always did. For a moment they stopped and decided to apply logic to the problem at hand. It must been around midnight and so the most logical place for him to reside was the bedroom, and bedrooms are usually upstairs.

Finding the stairs in this dim light proved to be no easy task, and more than once they felt sure that they had made enough noise to awaken half the house, if there was anyone in but _him._ When they had finally found the stairs after going through five rooms with exactly the same decoration, they headed up them as quietly as possible.

Luckily for them this floor proved to be far less of a maze, with a corridor running straight down the middle of all the doors that were on the floor. Again, many of the rooms seemed identical and somewhat redundant. This thought however was pushed the door open and found themselves in the very room of the man they had been searching for.

It was ornate, with a large four posted bed complete with drapes and thick velvet curtains that were a midnight blue. The carpet was at least three or four inches thick and light green colour. There was a sideboard painted gold running around the base of the room and around the tops of the light blue walls, and in the middle of everything lay him on that bed.

He had not bothered to sink into the memory foam mattress and wrap the king sized duvet around himself, instead he had fallen onto the bed fully clothed and laying face down on the top of the covers.

They glared at his pathetic form for a minute, before allowing their feet to sink into the carpet as they crossed the room and stood over him. The knife had not vacated their grip since they broke in, and standing over him now was making their hand shake with anticipation of what they were planning on doing.

Unable to hold in the tension that was threatening to burst out of them they plunged the knife into his back and he awoke with a startled gasp. As he struggled to turn over on the bed and face his attacker crimson blood began to leak from the hole that had been created.

It took him several moments to find enough strength to turn over and stare at them with complete confusion. His attacker gave him a cold smile and raised the knife above their head, this time plunging it into his chest.

He flopped back again the bed, clawing at his throat as air came in shallow gasps. They simply watched for a moment as his movements became more and more erratic before plunging the knife into his stomach.

There was no way out. A trickle of blood began to leak from the corner of his mouth as he slowly gave up the effort it was taking to breathe. A first his breath was a gentle hiss and his body began to spasm and jerk. His breath then slowly abated until he was taking in less air than a mouse and he finally grew still.

His attacker wasn't done.

They began ripping and ragging him with the knife, cutting large chunks of flesh out of his torso and exposing warm slimy organs which they also destroyed. They next moved to his face, cutting and slashing until he was unrecognisable through the mask of dried blood and exposed flesh. Finally his legs and arms were cut into ribbons until he was lying in a pool of his own blood, the mixture of organs and muscles spilling out of his body and onto the bed.

Finally after a brief pause in which they simply stared at his desecrated body with no remorse or feeling his attacker came to their senses. They let out a startled cry at the devastation they had caused and fled the room, taking the slimy knife with them.

…

_**Thank you to all of you who have reviewed so far, I really do love reading everything you guys write :) Keep it coming! **_

_**So tomorrow is where I leave you for a bit... I may be able to update in 2 weeks instead of 3 but I guess we'll see. **_


	62. Chapter 62: Arrested

Sam stared up at the familiar cracks on the ceiling in Zoe's spare room with a sheepish grin that had been plastered there for the last two hours. She knew she shouldn't really be smiling since someone else was in so much pain but she did it, she actually managed to stand up to someone.

She was certain this euphoric sensation would not last long however, as soon as she told Zoe would undoubtedly be knee deep in counselling and police interviews, possibly even a court appearance. But for now at least she could enjoy the relaxed sensation spreading throughout her body.

For the first time in months she felt safe, for now she knew she could defend herself even if it was against someone like _him. _Though she did acknowledge the fact that it would probably be a good idea to leave the knife at home next time, after all it was better than being picked up by the police.

After a couple more minutes of relaxation, Sam sat up on the bed and swung her legs off onto the floor. She was still fully clothed, having come straight through the door to Zoe's house after the night's events and ran up to her room. She had briefly stared at Zoe who had been sitting on the sofa cradling a mug of coffee but gave her no inclination to where she had been or what had happened as she strode through to the spare room where she was supposed to be sleeping.

Zoe had come around about ten minutes after she had come back to check on her but instead of speaking she pretended she was asleep, unable to speak for the trembling that was rattling it's way through her body.

Now, after processing the night's events she felt ecstatic and freer than she had been in ages. She was strong again. Maybe not as strong as she was before he had raped her, but strong enough to say that she could handle getting on with her life once more hopefully without looking over her shoulder.

Finally, after a couple more minutes of contemplation she stood up slowly and headed towards the door. Zoe was still perched on the sofa in exactly the same position she had been before, however this time her mug of coffee was empty. She was staring into space, her mind clearly on other things and for that reason it took her a moment to notice Sam standing there and watching her awkwardly.

"Hey." Zoe said as she patted the space on the sofa next to her. "Sit down."

Sam took the fact her tone wasn't at all hostile as a good sign, and sat on the indicated spot on the sofa more confidently than she would have otherwise.

"Zoe I need to talk to-"

"Hey I'm sorry about-"

Zoe and Sam both stared at each other with embarrassed smiles for a moment before Zoe nodded at her.

"You go first."

"No it's fine. What were you going to say?" Sam said with a slight smile.

"Only that I'm sorry about him being released." Zoe said gently. "And I was wondering where you went."

"I um… I went walking and…." Sam stammered, unable to think of a way to tell her about what had actually happened. Instead she sighed and settle for something a little easier. "Zoe I need to tell you something."

Just as she said this there was a ring and a knock at the door followed by someone shouting 'Police!' through the letterbox. Sam felt her body tense up as Zoe placed the coffee mug on the table and clopped over to the door.

Sam listened intently as Zoe opened the door and asked the police officers what they wanted.

"Yes?"

"Is Samantha Nicholls in?"

"Yes why?"

"Can we see her please?"

Sam heard two sets of heavy footprints clomp into the living room and found herself ace to face with two burly police officers as she stood up.

"Samantha Nicholls you are under arrest."

Sam stared at them both like they had just gone mad.

"For what?!" Sam shouted as one of them stepped behind her and started reading her rights.

The man standing next to Zoe narrowed his eyes and gave her a look that said 'as if you don't know' before the police officer behind spoke.

"Murder."

"WHAT?!" Zoe boomed.

"Who?" Sam shouted a moment later.

The police officer said his name. Sam felt a twinge of guilty relief in her stomach.

"H-he's _dead?" _

…

_**I hope you all have a great Christmas and I'll probably update again around the 5th/6th of Jan. **_

_**Enjoy the cliff hanger! **_

_**One question: Who do you think killed him now?**_


	63. Chapter 63: Secrets and lies

It was the smell that got to her first.

Sam had grown well accustomed to the distinctive 'hospital smell' that patients constantly complain about , what with laying in a hospital bed for hours on end and working in one for over a year. However, as she discovered sitting in her cell, police departments also possess a distinctive scent.

It was difficult for her to pick out what exactly made this smell so different from every other building she had entered, but there was definitely something. It could have been the thousands of computers and other gadgets that she knew to exist within these walls, but this smelt nothing like the last office building she had entered. It could also have been the perspiration of the officers who sat about desks drilling holes into computer screens with their eyes as they ran back CCTV images of Sam with the knife, but this wasn't the first time Sam had been in a building where almost everyone in the building had thin beads of sweat on their foreheads either, all she had to do was walk into the ED on a Friday evening.

No, this was something entirely different. This smell accompanied the many etchings former prisoners had made into the walls, usually their initials and the date. It was the smell of fear from many prisoners, and denial from others. The scent of anger and frustration from the officers desperately trying to crack cases was also intertwined with this already potent concoction, along with the sheer terror of the victims, like Sam, who were forcing themselves to relive the most terrifying moment in their lives all for the sake of catching person who had hurt them.

Sam removed her hands from her head and sat up, staring once more at the many etchings. One person had tried to play noughts and crosses by himself, while another had decided to inscribe lurid sexual remarks. Sam cringed slightly as she read these and shifted herself around the on the wooden bench she was sitting on, turning to face the door that, for the last seven hours, had remained shut.

Every now and then she heard the cry of another inmate being forced into a cell around her, or an officer yelling at a particularly vocal inmate to pipe down. This combined with the creaking sounds many of the cell doors made when they were opened and the smell was enough to drive anyone mad after a few hours if sitting hunched over in a cell like Sam had been, but Sam was too preoccupied to go mad.

They now knew she wasn't the murderer. She was too busy threatening to kill someone else with that knife if they didn't leave her friend alone. After running the events in alleyway through her mind she sighed and stood up, trying to rid herself of the worry that had formed a cloud in her head.

This cloud obscured every thought she had of anything unrelated to the reason she was standing in a 6 by 6 foot box with a door on, which the police had aptly called a 'cell'. As soon as she had entered Sam was reminded of a bee hive, and the hundreds of cells within that stored all that sweet honey. Except there was one difference, the people trapped within these cells were anything but sweet.

They were robbers, fraudsters, drug dealers and on occasion murderers and rapists. An involuntary shudder ran down Sam's spine as she realized she could have been sitting on the exact spot a rapist had, perhaps not so long ago. With that idea running rabid around her mind she began to pace anxiously and gnaw at her already masticated fingernails.

The pacing continued for another half an hour, before the wood that covered the porthole on the cell door was slid back with a hiss and a pair of brown eyes stared in at her. Sam paused for a moment to give a defiant stare back, before continuing to pace trenches in the dusty laminated floor.

"You alright?" The male officer called in a deep voice.

"Fine." Sam replied a moment later.

"We're going to be taking you back up to the interview room in a moment; I'm just waiting for conformation." He said, choosing to ignore her hostile tone.

"Great." Sam said in the most sarcastic tone she could muster.

Her last stint in the interview room had been bad enough, having to explain why five witnesses had seen her heading in the direction of _his _house with a knife and yet having a plausible enough alibi without bringing Linda into what had happened was more that enough of a challenge for her.

Yet naturally her misgivings meant nothing, and a couple of minutes later she found herself being led around the maze of corridors by the male officer, who turned out to be called PC Kent much to Sam's distinct pleasure, and then sat on a small stool in front of a table where the same tired looking police woman had interviewed her last along with a dozy looking middle aged lawyer who was sitting beside Sam with a frown on her face.

"Commencing interview with PC James, Jenna Jonson, lawyer, and the suspect Dr Samantha Nicholls." PC James said in a professional drone. "I am now showing the suspect item 341A"

PC James, who was a middle aged woman with wiry jet black hair, produced a plastic bag containing the knife that Sam had taken from Zoe's kitchen.

"This is the knife you took from Zoe Hannah's kitchen, is it not?"

Sam's jaw worked. "Yes, as I told you in the previous interview, it is."

"We examined it with a fine tooth comb and the fibres we found on the blade do not match the types of fabric the victim's clothing was made out of."

"So what am I still doing here?" Sam asked after glancing at her ancient looking lawyer.

"We found enough evidence to corroborate your story. We have CCTV images of you helping a crying woman out of an alleyway and all the way back to her flat shortly after a man in denim jeans ran from the scene also. However, we need to talk to the woman before we can let you go. Care to tell us who she is?"

Sam felt a bead of sweat run down her forehead. Linda had begged her not to tell anyone and she had agreed after some hesitation, talking now would be breaking that promise in the worst possible way, for she would be telling the people who could take the guy to court.

"No. I wouldn't." Sam replied coolly. "And that man was no victim."

"I'm aware of the allegations-"

Sam hit the table with the palms of her hands and stood up.

"Allegations?! That man dragged me down a alleyway and raped me, then tried to do the same thing in the hospital staffroom!" She almost screamed. "Then you lot have the nerve to bang on my friend's door and accuse me of offing the guy and then drag me down the station, shunt me into one of these interview rooms and shove pictures of a torn up body under my nose!"

At the sounds of the commotion two burly looking officers had burst through the doors and were giving Sam the most threatening look they could muster. PC James, after remaining completely passive at the outburst, turned her hand around to wave them away before motioning Sam to take her seat.

"Sam I'm well aware of everything that has happened to you over the past few months and I'm sorry for the way you've been treated by the police. We are simply trying to get to the truth of what's happened here." She said in the same Sickly sweet voice Sam remembered PC Rowan using. "Honestly I would love nothing more than to release you into the world again but unfortunately I can't until you tell me everything you know. By the looks of what we could see what happened in the alleyway on Sandown road last night was not unlike what happened to you in that exact same place, except you stopped a girl from being attacked and helped her to safety. Correct?"

Sam nodded without a word.

"All you need to do is tell me the name of that person and we can all get out of this room and on with our lives."

She shifted on her chair, mulling this over for a moment before speaking at last in a somewhat subdued tone.

"She told me not to tell anyone, she made me swear."

"Who did?"

Just as Sam was about to open her mouth and answer there was a knock at the door and a police officer stepped in.

"Sorry to interrupt but there is someone who wants to see Miss Nicholls." Said the same officer who had escorted her from the cells.

"You know that's not allowed" PC James called over her shoulder, irritated by the timing of the interruption.

"I'm afraid we've made an exception giving his relation to Sam, and he's turning himself in as soon as he's done talking to her so we don't have long."

"Who is he?" Sam asked.

"Oh fine. Bring him in when you're ready. What's this man's name?" PC James said, cutting across Sam.

"Yes ma'am." The officer said as he disappeared.

A moment later he arrived with the man and Sam could only stare in shock for several moments.

"D-Dylan?" She finally said when she was able to speak. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Zoe called me." He replied in a dulcet tone. "Oh, and I'm about to confess to murder."

…

_**Hope everyone had a great Christmas and New years! **_

_**Well I did say I'd bring Dylan in at some point…! **_

_**I will try and get another chapter or 2 up this weekend but don't hold your breath… and I'm sorry if I start accidentally writing sociology case studies in the middle of the chapter as I'm kind of half revising half writing at the moment… Oh how I love exams. **_


	64. Chapter 64: Red Herring

As PC James and the other officer along with Sam's ever silent lawyer

hurried away and shut the door Sam studied Dylan. He was wearing a dull green coat with a rip down one side and the fur that lined the hood was dirty and matted. The buttons were not fastened all the way up and beneath the coat he was wearing one of the many chequered shirts he owned, except it was also covered in dirt. His trousers had what appeared to be grass stains on them, but his face remained unchanged.

Sam opened her mouth and closed it again after finishing her observations. She wasn't remaining silent because she had nothing to say, for there were many questions buzzing around her brain. Did he know about the rape? Why did Zoe call him? Why did he resemble a homeless man? He _murdered _someone?

Sam opened her mouth once more but it was Dylan who spoke first.

"How are you?"

"Brilliant." Sam replied with an eye roll.

There was another brief pause in which Dylan shuffled his feet slightly.

"Sam you're smarter than this." He said as though disappointed with her.

"W-What?" Sam blurted. "You killed that man not me!"

Dylan frowned and placed his hands on his hips. "You know I didn't. I'm turning myself in so you don't have to go to prison!"

Sam let out a strangled shriek stared up at the ceiling for several moments. When she next spoke her tone appeared to confuse Dylan, for it sounded angry but there was a hint of laughter also.

"So let me get this straight. You were going to turn yourself in for a murder to you didn't commit when the police had already ruled me out as a suspect."

"Yes. Wait-_what?" _

"Dylan you... you idiot!" Sam said as she strangled the air in front of her with her fists.

Despite this sudden display of violence Sam was more relieved than angry. Dylan's gallant actions had reminded Sam of days before the army, and before the rape. As she placed her hands back down on her lap a twinge of sadness took hold of her as she thought back to the days where she had been far happier than she was now, staring at her ex as though he had just one mad.

"You alright?" Dylan asked awkwardly before taking a deep breath and continuing to talk regardless of her answer. "Sam I, Um, I know what happened to you and, er, everything that happened after it."

"Zoe told you I presume." She replied with her eyes shut. "How did she get your number?"

"I phoned her."

"Of course you did."

After another brief pause Dylan asked in the most professional tone he could muster "Any long term damage?"

"Physically no."Sam lied in the stoniest voice she could manage.

"Right. Well... Good." Dylan said awkwardly. "So when are they releasing you?"

Sam let out a long sigh and opened her eyes to stare at him indifferently.

"I don't know Dylan." She said with more than a hint of irritation in her voice.

"Right. Well I'll be one my way then." He said once more as he stood up.

Before Sam could help it a small laugh had escaped her lips, causing Dylan to turn back and frown before asking what was funny.

"You! You're funny! In all these months I haven't seen so much as a card, and it's now very clear why… You're still just as socially awkward as you've always been and your awkwardness overrides everything else!"

"I didn't want to get in the way."

"Get in the way? I was raped Dylan! Maybe I could have used your support for once; maybe, just maybe, you could have been here and-"

"And? And what Sam? Held your hand?"

"No! Shown me that you cared, even one little _tiny_ bit for what was happening to me! You didn't have to stay! Sam sobbed as tears began to fall thick and fast town her cheeks. "We loved each other at once point and now you can't even look me in the eye!"

Just as Sam said this Dylan did exactly that and they held their positions for a moment, both of them staring at each other as though they had never seen the other's eyes before. It was Sam who broke the staring content first, moving her gaze as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

"So where were you?" Sam asked bitterly as she stared at the floor.

Dylan, still staring at the spot that Sam's eyes had recently vacated, did not answer.

"Dylan! Where the hell were you?!" Sam said as she sniffed and fresh tears fell down her face.

"I…" Dylan muttered as he looked at the floor.

"I what? I was too busy tending to my damn dog to care about my ex wife? I was too damned afraid to face to you? I was over the other side of the world and only got back today? For god's sake Dylan!"

Sam stopped to catch her breath, reigning in her pent up frustrations and staring at her ex husband as she waited for an answer.

"I've been in town a few days. My boat was burned while I was away and I went to report it to the police. When I got to the station I saw the man who attacked you outside just as he was released. I didn't know who he was at that point but he seemed like a dangerous guy."

"You have no idea. Where did you go after you left holby?"

"I went up to Manchester. I got a job as a GP up there."

"So when you came back here you-what? Saw what had happened to me in the papers and that I had been arrested for his murder and decided to be my hero and turn yourself in for a crime you didn't commit?"

Dylan nodded his head and stared at her for a moment, his expression unreadable.

"Why did they let you in here?" Sam asked as she sat up a little straighter in her chair.

"They think we're still married."

"Well now they don't." Sam said as she let out a grumpy sigh.

"Why?"

"Because that window over there." She jerked her head at the large pane of glass to the side of the desk. "Looks like a mirror to us, but they can stand behind it and watch us without us knowing."

"Why haven't they come in yet then?"

"I'm not a mind reader, Dylan."

Just as Sam spoke the door was opened and a very disgruntled looking PC James stepped in and stared at Dylan like he had just insulted her mother.

"_Miss _Nicholls it appears your ex husband has some explaining to do and we have to finish our interview"

Dylan stared at Sam and gave her a nod before allowing one of the many police officers who were grouped outside to drag him off. PC James re entered along with her lawyer and literally got to the point where her behind was hovering just above the chair she vacated before there was yet another knock on the door and PC Rowan herself entered.

"PC James Lynda Andrews has made a formal statement about an attack last night that Miss Nicholls was involved in. DI Tyler has said that Sam is free to go."

"DI Tyler is not in charge of this case, inspector Westborn is!"

"DI Tyler was relaying the message. Samantha Nicholls is free to go." Emphasised PC Rowan.

With that PC James stood up and opened the interview room door, making a theatrical bow to Sam before allowing her to pass with more than a hint of displeasure.

…

_**So... who do you lot think the killer is now? **_


	65. Chapter 65: The truth

As Sam was lead through to reception and hastily handed back her things she noticed a line of familiar faces all waiting for her to come out. She approached slowly and was greeted by a hug from Zoe and a nervous smile from Linda. Tom was also present, though appeared to be hanging back slightly from the group, looking as though he wanted to be anywhere but in a police station.

"How are you?" Zoe asked as she frowned at what Sam imagined to be bags under her eyes.

"Sick of this place." She replied with a sad smile. "Linda they told me that you're reporting what happened…"

"Yeah I am." She said with a weak smile. "It was the only way to get you out of there"

Now that Sam was close to Linda she could see the bags that were present under her eyes also and the nervousness that shone through her composure. She felt a twinge of guilt at the fact that if it wasn't for her Linda wouldn't have been forced to report a crime she'd rather forget.

"So can we get out of here yet?" Tom asked from his spot a couple of metres away from everyone.

"As soon as Sam and Linda describe what happened in a statement we can go." Zoe replied.

At this Sam let out a loud moan and strode past Zoe and Linda, before flopping into a chair and folding her arms like a child.

"Sam just remember after this you're be free again. Besides, DI Tyler is the one taking your statements." Zoe said gently.

Sam nodded. "Yeah she promised she would get me out of that cell."

"She came to see you?"

"Yes I did."

Zoe and Linda spun around to see a tired looking DI Tyler standing directly behind them. The bags under her eyes were larger and deeper than those under Linda's, aging her dramatically. Her expression matched her eye bags perfectly: her mouth was a grim slash of determination, as though standing up was an effort.

"Are you alright?" Zoe said with a look of concern.

"Yes I'm fine…. Although the last few days are beginning to take their toll on me." She replied with a wry smile. "Sam, Linda follow me please. Zoe and Mr Kent will have to wait here."

Sam sighed and wrenched herself to her feet and began to follow Linda and DI Tyler up a nerby flight of stairs and into a room directly opposite the last step. The room itself was relatively small, with flowery wallpaper and a comfortable looking, although slightly worn, sofa with a coffee table next to it. On the coffee table there were two clipboards, each with a pen.

"Right." DI Tyler said as she motioned them to sit down. "Just write out everything that happened last night and you're free to go."

Simultaneously they picked up the clipboards and pens and Linda began to scribble furiously, Sam on the other hand took a deep breath and started writing at a far slower pace.

First she wrote about how she had grabbed the knife and ran out of Zoe's house, then down several streets until she was back at Sandown road. She walked as far down as she dared, not intending to go anywhere near the alleyway where she was attacked but after hearing Linda's screams she ran straight down without a second's thought.

The sight that greeted her was not a pretty one; a tall man wearing a balaclava and hoodie was pushing her up against a wall and trying to take off her jacket. Sam found herself reacting immediately, whipping the knife out of her pocket and yelling at the top of the voice. The man spun around and was about to go for her until he saw the knife, instead he ran for the entrance to the alleyway and bolted while Sam rushed over to Linda and, after failing to persuade her to go to the hospital, she the took Linda back to her flat on an estate a couple of streets away.

Sam then went on to describe the man in very specific detail and then emphasised that she only took the knife for protection and had no intention of ever using it. After signing the bottom of the page she placed the pen and clipboard back down on the coffee table and look up.

Linda had already finished writing a few minutes before, and had clearly been watching Sam finish up. DI Tyler grabbed both clipboards and motioned them to their feet, taking them back to reception where Zoe and Tom were still waiting.

As soon as they approached, Zoe stood up and gave Sam a smile, which she returned only half heartedly. She wasn't sure if it was the fact that she was shocked to see Linda here or the fact that she was simply relieved to be free from the interview room but she had momentarily forgotten about Dylan.

"Right." Said DI Tyler, cutting across the words that were about to fall out of Sam's mouth. "You're free to go."

Sam nodded and grabbed Zoe by the upper arm, leading her out of earshot of Tom and Linda.

"We need to talk. About Dylan." Sam said slightly more aggressively than she had intended.

"Sam I can explain."

"You better."

…

_**So a lot of you guys seem to think Tom is the killer, some think Zoe and others think it's his brother… Interesting! **_

_**Well all but one of those suspects was in this chapter… and yes, one of the characters in this chapter is the murderer. **_


	66. Chapter 66: Freeze frame

The crimson streaks of blood along the hilt of the knife made her shudder as she held it up to the torchlight. As she bought it back down and placed in on the desk in her dimly lit garage for the umpteenth time images of the organs tumbling out of his body filled her mind once more.

She didn't know what to do, what to think or what to say. There were no words that came to mind that she could use to sum up the fact she had just turned a human into some kind of spaghetti. As she paced slowly around in circles images of Sam lying in a hospital bed came to her, along with every other day she had seen her looking lost and afraid.

At the thought of Sam her heart hardened slightly, for at least she would be safe from one of the brothers who had terrified her life for an unknown reason. This was the main justification she had for her actions, though given the circumstances she found that, however strong her reasoning was, she couldn't bring herself to be happy at his death.

She could still see the startled expression on his face, and for a moment the guilt she felt threatened to drag her back to the police station and force her to write a long and grotesquely detailed confession about how she had been the one to end a life when it as supposed to be her job to uphold the law.

With a deep shaky sigh she placed the knife back in the locked desk next to her motorcycle and turned away from it. There was nothing she could do now. It was over.

After a few more shaky sighs she felt her mobile began to vibrate in her pocket, and took it out soundlessly and held it up to her ear without checking the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"DI Tyler? This is PC Rowan. You're needed down at the station, it regards the Samantha Nicholls case."

"What's going on?" She said in the most level voice she could muster since her body had erupted into shakes.

PC Rowan went on the briefly explain that a doctor was requesting an off the record interview with her.

"Why?" She asked as a frown appeared on her face.

"He won't say. He says he wants to talk to you and you alone."

There was a brief moment of silence and she thought it over, trying to ignore the sense of dread that was creeping through her veins.

"I'll be there in half an hour."

…

She opened the door to the interview room and could not stop her mouth from dropping open slightly at the sight of Dr Tom Kent sitting on a chair before her. He had looked up as she opened the door, and now met her with a confusing expression that seemed to be of both frustration and fear. In front of him was a white A4 envelope.

"Dr Kent. You wanted to speak to me?" She said in the most professional manner she could muster as she sat down.

"Is this being recorded?" He said as he leant onto the desk and placed his hands on the envelope.

"No. It's completely off of the record, and no one is behind the glass, either." She said as she leant forwards also. "Now what is this about?"

Wordlessly Tom opened the envelope and pulled a photo out from within. For a moment DI Tyler's eyes didn't register the image at all, instead she stared at Tom's face in confusion.

"Care to explain why I saw you running away from that freak's house with a knife covered in blood on the same night he was murdered?"

DI Tyler's mouth suddenly went dry. The photo was indeed of her, a freeze frame of a terrified looking woman running full pelt away from his house with the same bloody knife in her hands that sat in her garage.

…

_**Well done to all of you who guessed right :) **_

_**So I suppose the new question is what do you think Tom was doing near his house…. **_


	67. Chapter 67: Eavesdropper

_**Sorry about the lack of updates…. I've had a bad case of writer's block and a nice long history essay to contend with. **_

…

Once again DI Tyler was lost for words. Part of her wanted to run from the room screaming, the other wanted to dig up any possible dirt on Tom Kent and threaten him into silence. It took her mere seconds to rearrange her features into a professional composure, but that few seconds of shock had already told Tom all he needed to know.

"Relax. I'm not here to turn you in; if I had been you would be sitting in a cell now." He said in a curiously friendly smile.

"Then why are you here?" DI Tyler said warily.

"I came to help." Tom replied calmly.

"I don't need _your _help. It's under control." She replied sharply. "And for god's sake _cover that image up!"_

Tom sighed and quickly slid the image back into the envelope.

"Look, no offence but you look like crap. You're white as a sheet with big bags under your eyes- if that doesn't scream something's wrong I don't know what does. Not to mention the fact that your cop senses must be dull or you would have asked me how exactly I came into possession of a photo that incriminates you in a murder."

DI Tyler's face drained of the minute amount of colour it had left in it.

"How did you?"

Tom sighed once more and leant back, scratching the back of is head as a worried expression formed.

"I... I was on my way to kill him, knife and all. When I went to the house after snapping that photo of you I found your handy work and called the police anonymously."

"So you were the anonymous caller. Why didn't you hand that photo in?"

"I was going to so Sam would be free but I saw you and how ill you looked and decided against it. Besides Sam was released when Dylan came in with his rant about how he was the murderer."

"And you just stood there and let him potentially send himself down for a crime he didn't commit."

"Me and Dylan never exactly hit it off…"

"You disliked him enough not to some forwards with evidence which would have prevented him going down for _murder?_"

"Well no... But I was on my way to kill the guy myself and I didn't exactly want to have to explain how I got this photo."

"So you protected me because of your own interests?"

"I protected you because you are leading the rape case against Sam, and one of those freaky brothers may be dead but the other one isn't. If you get taken off the case someone else may end up interviewing her once again and ripping open old wounds. I couldn't do that to her."

Tom coughed slightly as his voice caught on the last sentence.

Having spent the majority of this conversation staring at the floor, DI Tyler finally looked up and stared at Tom full in the face.

"So what's the plan?"

"You tell me."

"I can't. You're the one holding the cards, so to speak."

"Fine." Tom said as he stared at her with a look of contempt. "Your lot don't have a clue who did this, and I think the less people who know about this the better."

"So, what, we just pretend we never had this conversation and forget about all of this? You still have incriminating evidence in your hands!" DI Tyler exclaimed after sniffing at the 'your lot' comment.

"True… So I'll burn it."

"What am I supposed to tell them out there?"

"I don't know! Tell them I was grilling you for news on Dylan's incarceration for wasting police time, tell them I was trying to find out when the court date for the other brother had been rescheduled to... it doesn't matter. Just make sure none of this conversation makes it out of this room."

"Fine." Di Tyler said coldly. "I think this conversation is over."

"I think you're right. I've seemly wasted enough of the illustrious DI Tyler's time." Tom said, slapping his knees and standing up slowly.

Tom headed out of the room, shortly followed by DI Tyler who stopped outside the door and gave the awaiting officer an excuse about being grilled about Sam's rape case. She then took a moment to compose herself before heading down the corridor and continuing about her business.

If she had turned back before continuing her work she may have noticed PC Rowan step out of the room behind the one view and whisper the word 'murderer' before heading out of the front entrance.


	68. Chapter 68: Choices

Sam, Linda, Zoe and Tess had all been sitting in Zoe's living room for over an hour now, huddled around the phone waiting for an officer to call and update them on the Dylan situation. Three out of the four people in the room looked worried about Dylan, Sam, on the other hand, looked ready to sleep.

Her eyelids felt as though someone had attached bricks to them and her head kept on lolling backwards. It was one thing to have to sit in a tiny cell of hours on end, but to have to wait around for a call about a person you were not exactly pleased with who just so happened to be back in the place you got away from was driving her a little mad.

"How long do you think it will be?" Linda asked, though despite not looking directly at her or making any indication towards her, Sam could tell who the question was aimed at.

"I don't know. I was in the interview room almost immediately, but then again murder is a little more important than wasting police time." Sam replied, shifting her head around to look at her.

The following silence seemed to ring on everyone's ears, Zoe shifting uncomfortably and Tess looking at an 'interesting' spot on the ceiling while Linda bought out her phone and started surfing the internet for any articles on the two cases that pertained to the people in the room.

Just as Sam felt unable to take it any longer, the loud ring of the doorbell grabbed everyone's attention. Linda jerked her head up from her phone and Tess turned her gaze to the door as Zoe walked briskly over and opened it.

Sam listened hard at the forced pleasantries and the slam of the door, waiting with baited breath to see if Dylan had made it out of lockup. However when at last this mystery visitor came into view they were greeted with a flushed looking PC Rowan, her hat stowed under one arm and a hand on her chest as she caught her breath.

…

"You cannot be serious." Sam said after the minute or so if silence that followed PC Rowan's monologue.

"I wish I wasn't." She said with a sigh. "I wasn't even supposed to be in there…"

"Then why were you?" Sam asked with more than a little hostility.

"I was transcribing an interview from the last person who had been in there, normally interviews are scheduled and since there wasn't one for over three hours I thought it would be safe to work in there, but Dr Kent and DI Tyler entered I was about to leave but then I was the photo Tom had of her and him saying how he knew she was the murderer."

"How the hell did he know? And how did he get that photo?" Zoe asked as she stared at the police officer like she had just gone mad.

PC Rowan sighed and ran a hand through her short hair. "He was heading to kill that man himself but DI Tyler beat him to it. He snapped a photo of her running away on his phone before heading into the house and calling the police anonymously when he found the body."

"So what are you going to do? Turn them in?" Sam asked sourly.

"By law I'm required to, yes." She replied with a worried look on her face. "In fact I shouldn't have even told you any of this."

"Then why did you?" Linda asked.

"Because something those two said when deciding what to do about this whole mess made sense. If Jenny, sorry, DI Tyler gets arrested then a new officer will be assigned to your rape case and they will be forced to interview you again."

Sam swallowed as her throat was suddenly dry.

"So what are you going to do?" Tess asked quietly, as though the whole world was listening.

"I'm not sure." She replied after a brief pause. "I don't want to make your lives any harder, and Jenny is a good officer. She's never done anything like this before."

"Just stay quiet. As long as those two don't say anything, which by the sound of what you said they won't, you'll be fine." Sam said.

"What is someone else finds out, or DI Tyler or Dr Kent gets cold feet. What am I supposed to do then?"

"No one knows you were in that room other than us." Linda said pointedly.

"Yes but plenty of people saw be _leave _that room and head out of reception to here. If they figured out that I knew about all of this and didn't tell anyone than I'd be in the dog house and my career would be over!"

"Then it really is your choice. We can't tell you to cover this up if you're going to end your career." Zoe said, receiving an agreeing nod from Tess and Linda.

"But before you do make a choice… I want Tom to be here." Sam said slowly.

"Sam-"

"Not to make your choice more difficult, but to help you make an informed one. I'll be honest, I don't want Tom or DI Tyler going down but in the end it's your choice. I just want to you make the right one for everyone involved."

…

_**Chelsea-xx: I will try but right now I have a lot of school work to do, so some weeks it may just have to be one update. **_


	69. Chapter 69: Remembering

_Bullets whistled over her head as she trudged through the mud and rubble, her left arm weighed down by the stretcher she and three other officers were carrying through the doom and gloom. They were forced to duck for fear of the shards of flying glass taking off their heads, making the journey back to the medical tent a frightening one even for the most hardened soldier. _

_Sam chanced a glance over her shoulder at the patient, a man with a bullet through his stomach, and immediately wished she hadn't. It was the third one she had seen like this today, an innocent civilian caught in the crossfire, each with a story more pitiful than the last. This particular man was mumbling something about his wife and daughter being killed in a drive by shooting. _

_The tent was nearing them now, the red cross set on white paper shone like a beacon when compared with the drab landscape of shattered buildings and the thick layer of dust that had settled on everything close to the many blast radiuses they were traipsing through. _

_The last few steps to the tent were as agonising as always, for you could be shot or blown up mere inches away from your destination as Sam had seen happen countless times before. _

_As soon as they had passed through Sam set about administering more pain relief and checking the man's vitals before checking the stomach wound. As usual her heart plummeted, for she knew that if they were in a hospital there would be a chance of saving the man, but in an ill equipped tent with only one other doctor around there was no point even trying. _

_Sam spared a few seconds to tell the nearby medic to keep the pain relief up and gave him one of the 'looks' that doctors in the army constantly used as code to tell the others in the room there is no hope before moving over to where a soldier was sitting, holding a piece of cloth to his forehead. _

_As soon as she neared him a smile broke out on her face. "Corporal Dean."_

"_Sam!" He said after squinting at her face for several seconds. _

"_Something wrong with your eyes?" Sam asked as she bought out a pocket torch. _

"_No, it's just hard to tell one person's mud coated face from another in here." _

"_Mud…?" Sam said before glancing over at a nearby metal cabinet and remembering that she had fallen over several times and landed in mud at least twice. "Right. Mud. What happened to your head?"_

"_I'd like to say it happened while I was battling tooth and claw with the enemy...but no. I was clipped over the head with some heavy thing I didn't even get a look at." He said with an amused smile. _

_Sam bit back a laugh and gently removed the cloth, revealing a bleeding patch on his forehead where a piece of skin used to be. After sighing she gently applied a bandage and bound it around his head, for they were all out of plasters and took a couple of pills from the cabinet along with a bottle of water and handed it to him. _

"_For the pain."Sam said, answering his quizzical look. _

_Suddenly a mischievous grin appeared on his face and he quickly wrapped his arms around her waist after swallowing the pills, pulling her close. _

"_Oh... I can think of something much better than pain relief…"_

_Sam made a loud shushing noise and pulled away from him, glancing around anxiously to make sure no one was looking. _

"_Are you mad? I meant it when I said I don't want anyone here finding out about this!"_

"_Hey relax! What are they going to do, send a postcard to Dylan with a lovely picture of the blown up buildings and the message – 'you wife's cheating on you'?" _

"_That's not funny!" Sam hissed, walking away from him. _

"_Hey, I'm sorry! What are you doing after your shift today?"_

"_I took a double. I don't get off until the early hours of tomorrow and by then all I'm going to want to do is sleep." Sam said coldly. _

"_Sam-"_

"_WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE?! ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LET HIM DIE?" A man shouted over at Sam after staring at the man she had previously bought in._

_She turned around and stared at him, and remembered taking in every detail of this man's face in the memory this dream had formed around but now, in this dream, she couldn't see anything other than darkness when she looked over at him._

Sam bolt upright on the sofa and started screaming.

…

"Sam what's wrong?"

"Sam?"

Sam stared back at the people who were gawking at her: PC Rowan, Tom, who had clearly just arrived, and Zoe and Linda.

She ran a hand over her face, wiping away the sweat that was trickling down her forehead before taking a few deep breaths and beginning to speak.

"I- um, I had a dream... about Iraq."

"What was it about?"

"Not sure exactly... it was a memory... except for the last bit. That made no sense."

"Why?" Tom asked with a confused expression that matched everyone else's.

"I had turned around to face a man who had come in screaming something about how we were letting a fatally wounded man die, except in the memory I turned and stared at him, in the dream I can't see him. I can't remember what he looks like, either."

"Sam I think you better go and get some rest." Zoe said as she raised a hand to her forehead to take her temperature.

"I'm fine!" She protested, before getting cut off by Tom.

"Sam its fine. Go and get some more sleep and we'll talk this thing out in a few hours."

…

_**Sorry about only having time to update once this week... I do have a holiday from Monday 18th so hopefully I'll be able to make up for it then as long as nothing comes up. **_

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, it's really appreciated! **_


	70. Chapter 70: The watch

At first Sam could have sworn the tapping sound was part of the nightmare she was trapped in, but now she wasn't so sure. As the nightmare finally started to fade back into the darkest corners of her mind the tapping continued, and instead of getting quieter it was becoming more pronounced.

Even when she realized it wasn't part of the imaginary world her mind had created, it didn't bother her. The reason for this was a combination of the fact that Sam was stuck in a comfortable half awake half asleep state, the type she forced herself to inhabit in the army, and nothing could touch this sense of calmness, and the fact that the tapping could have been any one of the people who were currently residing in Zoe's house.

So when the creaking sound of the window being opened and the sound of footsteps across the carpet entered her ears she still wasn't scared.

Nor was she scared when she could feel someone's hot breath on her cheek, or smell of tobacco clogging her throat.

It was only when she felt a hand touch her forehead and a voice whisper in her ear that a cold shudder wracked its way down her spine.

"_I know what you did…."_

Sam's eyes flew open and she stared around the room, forcing herself upright and squinting as sunlight pored through the open window along with an icy cold draft.

There was no one. Not a trace of a human ever stepping through the window and yet Sam was certain that someone had been standing there mere seconds ago. She considered calling out, but didn't want to worry everyone any more than she had last night so instead she simply pushed the covers off of her, shut the window and closed the curtains before pulling her pyjamas off and beginning to get dressed.

When she had gotten to the point where the only thing she needed to do was fasten her watch around her wrist she instinctively turned towards the bedside table where she had placed it last night only to see it wasn't there.

Her heart rate quickening, she slumped onto her knees and looked under the bed hoping, or rather praying, it was under there. When it wasn't she turned herself around and began checking under every object in the room before standing up and looking on every surface.

After staring at her bed for the longest time, trying to ignore the creeping sense of dread that had crept up on her, she turned around and stared at the curtains that now concealed the previously open window.

…

As Sam walked slowly towards the living room she could hear a lot of hushed talking amongst the group, which ceased immediately as they became aware of her approaching presence.

She entered wordlessly and sat down next to Zoe, who was sitting opposite Tom, PC Rowan and Linda. Sam began to grow uncomfortable under the piercing gazes of the people who were staring at her like she had just died.

"What?" She asked at last, putting a little more emphasis on the word in the hopes that they wqould catch how annoying the staring was. No such luck.

"You just look a little… drained. Did you sleep alright?" Zoe asked with a frown.

"Yes." Sam lied, "It just took me a little while to wake up."

Zoe gave a disbelieving nod but wisely did not push the subject any further.

"While you were resting I decided what I'm going to do." PC Rowan said. "I'll keep this secret."

Sam let out the breath she didn't even realize she had been holding. "Thank you. But why?"

"Jenny's a good person. I don't want to jeopardise her career because she gave some freak his just desserts and by what Zoe and Linda have said about Tom here he's a good doctor and we certainly don't have enough of those around nowadays,"

Zoe shifted uncomfortably at that remark but otherwise stayed silent.

"Thank you." Sam said again, giving PC Rowan a broad smile.

In truth she was more pleased about the fact that DI Tyler would still be handling her rape case, she wasn't looking forwards to rehashing old wounds.

However, that sense of relief did not last long, for there was a loud knock at the door which made everyone jump.

Tom jumped out of his seat and headed over to the door, his hands curled into fists and his arms tensed just in case. He stoutly opened it and Sam watched as his composure immediately relax and then after the person at the door spoke tense up again.

After Tom stood to one side it was revealed that the mystery person was in fact Dylan, who walked into the living room holding a newspaper which, when he held it up, read:

"_MAN ESCAPES POLICE CUSTODY"_

Sam immediately ran over to her bedroom, and was greeted by a site she fully expected to see, the window was wide open again and the curtains flung back. But not only that, her watch had been placed exactly where she had left it on the bedside table.

Sam's sense of dread returned, except this time it had a friend return along with it.

Fear.


	71. Chapter 71: New target

He slowly peeled the latex gloves from his sweaty palms and placed then casually in a nearby bin. He walked at an average pace down the road, hands thrust into the pockets of some police detective's jacket as he casually sauntered by.

If you were to see him in the street, you would think he was a rich guy coming to check out a local charity event he didn't care about and donate a large sum of money to it with a flash of his cheque book. However, if you knew him his face would paint a very different picture in your mind.

He was the brother of a dead rapist, also having raped the same woman himself. He was also a fugitive, on the run from any officer of the law that came his way. He also didn't care.

It wasn't that he saw himself as above the law, no, he saw himself as another law _enforcer_. He was simply executing a vengeful plot that was designed to completely destroy Samantha Nicholls mentally, rendering her incapable of murdering another human being.

His brother had exacted a kind of revenge on her initially, making her feel severe physical and mental pain by forcing himself on her, and he himself had done his part by raping her again. But now, weeks after she had awoken from the coma after her suicide attempt she was recovering well enough to let her guard down a fraction now that she believed both her assailants were in places they could not reach her from.

But naturally that was never going to last, and so using his brother's death as a distraction he had knocked out one of the officers who gave him food after making a few light conversations with him previously, hoping he would let his guard down just as Sam did and because of his inexperience he thought nothing of a harmless chat, not until he felt a hand squeezing his throat and a blow to the head with his own baton.

The next few steps were easy, walk into the police cloakroom and grab the nearest long jacket, walk out and over to the reception desk where he knocked out the receptionist, check where Sam was currently by accessing her file and run over there before stirring up trouble with the latex gloves he had stolen to make sure there were no traces of him and leave.

Now, as he walked down the street and ran the previous stages of the plan through his mind he began to formulate new ideas, new ways to make Sam's life a living hell. Even his seemingly aimless walk had a destination, a road with an alleyway that Sam knew intimately.

As he headed towards Sandown road he began glancing around on the floor for anything long and thin, and not long after he found a bent paperclip.

Following a casual stoop, seemingly with the aim of tying his shoes he picked it up and hid it in the palm of his hand before turning down a street far quieter than the roaring of the traffic on the busy main road that led away form the police station.

When he finally reached Sandown road he didn't even spare the alleyway where he and his brother's revenge began a glance, instead headed towards a beaten up shed in the garden of a long since lived in house.

The house itself was red brick coated in a black powder most likely put there by years and years of car fumes. Most of the windows were either cracked or broken, and though a high wooden fence ran around the outskirts of the garden there was now a large enough gasp in it where most likely kids had pulled the panelling odd and left a large hole, large enough for him to simply glance up and down the street and step over and in.

The garden was no better than the house, overgrown with brambles and grass up to his knees, causing him to wobble slightly as he headed towards the large black shed at the back of the garden.

The shed, unlike everything else, was in pristine condition, with a chain and padlock stopping anyone from opening the door. In truth it was his brother who had installed the shed before he died, one of the many things he had set up before he died however getting the key, which as back at their home, was both and time consuming, so instead he opted to put his days as a teenager and picking locks on windows and doors to good use.

A couple of twists and the door swung open, the chain dropping to the ground with a loud chinking sound.

As soon as he entered the first place he went to was an ornate wooden desk in the far corner. As he touched the oak he remembered rolling his eyes at his brother's need to be surrounded by ornate objects constantly, even when planning illicit dealings but now, as he stroked the place his brother's hand had once touched the memory suddenly made his lower eyelids brim with water.

Batting the tears away impatiently, he turned his attention to the envelope which had been left for him a few days ago, after he had told his associate his plans of escape.

He opened it carelessly, ripping it up until he came face to face with the contents, a photo and a note. The note read:

"_I have enclosed the image of DI Jenny Tyler running away from your brother's house, knife in hand, after killing your brother. This photo was taken by Dr Tom Kent, who has agreed to keep this whole thing under wraps. I am asking that you don't hand it in to the police as anyone could have seen me leave the interview room where I snapped this photo from behind the glass, and I would no longer be able to assist you from behind bars._

_-A friend"_

He sighed dramatically and cast the note onto the desk before taking a look at the photo which, though clearly was a photo of another photo taken at an angle showed Jenny Tyler running down a street he knew all too well.

For a moment a surge of anger took hold of him, and he walked towards a door that was hidden form views behind a tall mirror, shoving the mirror out of the way as he did so, and headed down the dingy steps that laid beyond it.

The first thing that greeted him was the usual sight of the cold metal table with straps, and a metal chair beside it, also with straps. There were an array of whips and knives dotted along the walls held up by hooks and a mobile phone on a desk nearby but the thing that got his attention was the cork notice board at the back of the room.

It was covered in pictures and photos of Sam over the years, in some she was smiling with her hands around the shoulders of her mates form the army, in others she was walking casually down the street in a jacket with no idea she was being photographed and in a few she was wearing scrubs outside the hospital- most of these images were newspaper clippings.

Finally, away from the other images was a space with a pin, which was where he attached the photo of Jenny Tyler.

"You're dead, cop." He murmured under his breath before heading back up the stairs after grabbing a knife and the mobile.

…

Around a mile away in Zoe's home, which was now swarming with cops, PC Rowan received a text message:

"I WANT TYLER DEAD"

PC Rowan glanced up at the slender female DI who was talking to a couple of burly officers and sighed.

"DI Tyler can I talk to you outside for a moment?"

…

_**Did anyone see that coming?**_

_**Sorry about not updating for 2 weeks before yesterday but revision season is kicking in again… Thanks for reading and reviews are always appreciated :)**_


	72. Chapter 72: True intentions

If something had been gotten out of the last few harrowing months, it was Sam's now completely honed army trained instincts.

So when she saw PC Rowan and DI Tyler headed outside in the middle of a serious situation she immediately began to follow. Whether it was because she thought that they could have uncovered _his _whereabouts, or she sensed something going awry, it was hard for her to tell for she was simply basing her uneasiness on a feeling.

Though calling this creeping sense of dread a _feeling _somewhat denounces how powerful it actually is. As soon as Sam saw the hushed speaking and strained expressions as they both stared at PC Rowan's phone she immediately knew something was happening.

"What's going on?"

Both PC Rowan and DI Tyler jumped at the sound of Sam's voice. The looks on their faces told her two things, the first being it was unlikely that they were going to tell her, as DI Tyler's expression was slightly defensive, and the second being that this was definitely to do with her, as PC Rowan had just hastily stowed her phone in her pocket.

"Do I need to ask again?" Sam said as she furrowed her brow and stepped forwards expectantly.

"W-What?" PC Rowan said, resembling a deer caught in headlights.

Sam sighed and rolled her eyes. "What-is-going-on? Slow enough for you?"

"Sam we were just talking-"

"-about that freak, no doubt." Finished Sam with a look of distaste.

"No, actually, we were-"

"Think very carefully about what you're going to say next. Nine times out of ten if someone says 'actually' before they speak they're going to lie to you."

DI Tyler sighed and nodded to PC Rowan. "She's going to get it out of us."

"Ok Sam, you sure you want to hear this?" PC Rowan said with a look that slightly unnerved Sam.

"Positive." Sam replied in spite of her instincts screaming at her to turn tail and run.

"Fine. A few days after his brother died DI Tyler sent me down to the cells for an off the record interview to see if I could persuade him to tell me anything. He proceeded to try and win my favour, hoping that I would help him escape also. I didn't reply and when to DI Tyler with the news, who told me to act like a corrupt cop and do whatever he asked, in the hope that he may trust me. With me so far?"

"Yeah... you tried to trick him into incriminating himself."

"Exactly. In the days leading up to his escape, he spoke a lot about going back to where this all started and how we was desperate to get out of there, so, under DI Tyler's instruction, I slipped a tracker into one of his socks while he was in a shower and I've been keeping an eye on him ever since Dylan rushed in and told us he escaped. Now DI Tyler knew I was going to be in that interview room, as she had admitted killing him to me a few days before. We were planning to keep this thing under wraps, but when Tom walked into the interview room I was working at, holding that image of Jenny here running away from his house, we knew we needed a change of tactic."

"So you pretended like this was all a coincidence?"

"Yes. I phoned up DI Tyler and told her Tom was waiting in the interview room for her, but I didn't say anymore as I feared that someone had knowledge about the cover up and had tapped my phone. When they were done talking I immediately headed over here to instigate the second part of the plan we had created after I had got hold of a disposable phone and called DI Tyler up while she was in the car: I had fed a lie to you in order to cover out tracks."

It took several moments for Sam to take this information in, and when she did she still found a billion and one questions bubbling up under the surface. She decided to get the main one out of the way.

"Why?" Sam said, turning to DI Tyler. "Why kill him? And I read the news report, why so… gory?"

DI Tyler passed a hand over her forehead and took a deep breath.

"I-I wasn't in my right mind that night, Sam." She said before remembering Sam was an Army medic and adding. "I have post traumatic stress disorder. I was raped when I was a teenager. I still get night terrors and flashbacks from time to time."

PC Rowan placed comforting had on her friend's shoulder, to which DI Tyler respinded to with a small smile.

"She was actually my first case. 15 years old. Never seen someone so frightened."

"I'm... I'm sorry." Sam said to break the lengthy silence that followed.

Sam had known people in the army who had gone down with PTSD. Many of them could be heard crying out at night, their minds trapped in some nightmare-ish never ending battle. It was this that sparked a new question in Sam's mind.

"You know that being around triggers can make your condition worse, don't you? Why make yourself head of my case?"

DI Tyler sighed.

"My attacker, despite everyone's best efforts, was never caught. The police at the time's best guess was that he fled the country. I know it sounds a little stupid and selfish but I… I was hoping that by taking on your case I could give myself some closure, and catch one of these sick freaks. I Guess I just lost it when he was granted bail... I couldn't handle the thought of him getting away after what he had done to you."

Sam nodded in understanding.

"Well all I can say is... thank you."

"Thank you?" DI Tyler and PC Rowan said in unison, equally as bemused.

"Yeah. I can't thank you for killing a man, but I can thank to for helping me sleep a little easier for a few nights."

"You're welcome... I guess." DI Tyler said awkwardly. "So you're not going to turn us in?"

"Turn you in?" Sam repeated incredulously. "For what? Helping me get justice? All I have to say is where the hell is this other guy? Hurry up and get him so I can rest easy at night!"

…

_**I'm back to school tomorrow so this'll be it until next weekend. Thanks as always for the support everyone! :)**_


	73. Chapter 73: Sandown

Driving. Sam had come to hate it as much as she hated dark nights and alleyways, for she always felt as if she was being driven into trouble. Considering the last time she had been in a police car it had been with handcuffs secured around her thin wrists this feeling was hardly surprising, however it was not just police cars that set her on edge, it was any car that rolled down the street.

Black cars were the worst; her shoulders would tense even if she was secure inside another vehicle as she was now. Every time one sauntered by she would remember the screeching of tyres as he had driven away from that alleyway, leaving her a shaking ball of fear and blood on the cold pavement in the middle of winter.

Sam shook herself out of her daytime nightmare and straight into a real one. One of the things she had not missed about Dylan was his fluctuating astuteness. Sometimes you could take his phone out of his pocket and he wouldn't notice, other times he would look at you and simply know what you were thinking, flashing a look which dared you to try him. This had proven to be one of _those _days.

Dylan had noticed the conversation going on outside and immediately stepped out, luckily for them he had been a few seconds too late or he would have heard the tail end of a very personal conversation, but that didn't stop him from insisting on tagging along when they all walked towards DI Tyler's car.

So now they sat, PC Rowan and DI Tyler in the front and Sam, much to her distinct pleasure, sitting in the back with Dylan, who kept on staring over at her with one of his usual unreadable expressions and glancing away every time she caught him at it.

On the fifth time this happened, Sam had had enough.

"_What?" _ She hissed over at him, making a nervous DI Tyler in the front jump.

"What?" Dylan said as blankly as he could after staring around as though wondering who she was talking to.

"Why do you keep staring at me like that?"

"Staring at you like what?"

Sam sighed and looked up at the car roof. This was yet another one of the things she did not miss about him: his blatant inability to look innocent whenever he tried.

"Why do you keep shooting me those looks?"

"What lo-"

"For god's sake Dylan! I'm not playing 20 questions with you! Just answer the damn question!" Sam snapped, her temper suddenly reaching boiling point.

Dylan made an effort to shift around in the chair and face the window, which only served to irritate Sam further.

"Alright, enough." PC Rowan said stubbornly, cutting off Sam who had opened her mouth to respond to Dylan's actions. "We're all on the same side here, remember that."

"Where are we headed again?" Sam said, mentally deciding to ignore Dylan for the rest of the journey.

"The only place can think of going: where this all started."

"Iraq?" Sam said before her mind had caught up.

"Iraq? Why would you say that?" DI Tyler asked, shifting around in her chair to stare at Sam with a bemused expression.

Sam blinked rapidly, a confused expression on her face. "I…"

"Sam?" PC Rowan called over her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Sam was thinking back to the nightmare she had had last night, to her it felt like a year ago, but as she came again to think about that voice which had come in to the medical tent shouting about how she was doing nothing to save a dying man she started to connect that to the events in the alleyway, and finally their current destination.

"Sandown road…" Sam muttered under her breath.

"Sam?" PC Rowan called again.

"Huh? Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Sam called after a moment's hesitation.

"Are you sure? You look a little pale…" Di Tyler said with a worried expression on her face.

Sam was about to reply when something out of the window caught her eye. The road sign for Sandown road. Sam felt her heart quicken slightly as the car slowed to a halt and PC Rowan stepped out and slammed the door behind her before walking around and allowing Dylan out, Sam having to shuffle across and clamber out after him. By the time she had stood upright DI Tyler was already out of the car, also slamming the door behind her.

Sam stared around and shuddered as a cold wind whipped up behind them.

"Why are we here?"

"The tracker I placed on him lead her here, though where abouts on this road I don't know- Sam? Sam don't!"

Sam was already walking towards the alleyway, her pace quickening with every step. Once she reached it she found her heart beating ever faster, her mind running the memories of when her life had changed through like a broken projector, getting stuck at the point where she was on the ground and whimpering.

Somewhere form the depths of the darkest corner of her mind, a voice bought back every last bit of terror.

"You tell anyone about tonight, and I _will_kill you. Understand?"

…

_**Sorry about only one update this week… my teachers weren't exactly kind on the homework front. **_


	74. Chapter 74: The last stand

The deep breaths Sam was taking were doing nothing to her nerves.

She could hear PC Rowan and Zoe simultaneously calling her name, and DI Tyler's tentative hand on her shoulder, along with Dylan's eyes boring a hole into the back of her head. None of that mattered to her, for she was both aware and not aware of her surroundings at the same time.

She took another few steps forwards, shrugging DI Tyler's hand off in the process, and placed a clammy hand on the brick wall closest to her. The dust immediately clung to her sweaty fingers, but she was as unaware of this as she was the presence of the four people behind her.

Her breath was catching now, and beads of sweat were appearing on her forehead as she stared around. It was exactly the same, right down to that same faulty streetlight. The only thing that was different about that light in particular was the single strip of yellow police tape still stuck to the pole, a small part of it flapping around in the slight breeze.

She didn't dare look at the alleyway itself, though every part of her body was screaming for her to. Instead she simply started breathing deeper and harder, still unaware of the fact that everyone was calling her name. She could hear it now, his car. It screeched to a halt nearby and a figure passed a corner of her eye. She could hear the sounds of four people running away, but her own legs would not obey her.

Suddenly everything went dark, and an all too familiar sound set Sam's heart rate up further still. It was the sound of her own terrified whimpering. Except she wasn't making a sound.

She didn't want to look down for two reasons, one being that she already knew what she was going to be faced with, the other being she was aware of the fact she was most likely unconscious, either that or she was going mad- seeing a dark sky when it was the afternoon. Or both.

She tried to resist the urge to look down, by trying wasn't good enough. Her head moved around to face the scene without input for her brain. Her eyes widened, tears threatening to flood down her cheeks. Her breath quickened to the point where she was dizzy and her hands were suddenly covered in sweat.

Sam was watching it happen all over again. She could see herself pinned on the ground, trying desperately to find some purchase on his arms and shove him off, but he was just too strong. She tried desperately to turn her head away from the scene that was playing out in front of her, but her muscles appeared to have locked into place.

When it was over, she managed to turn her head a fraction and watch his black car screech down the road. She knew what was going to happen next, Zoe was going to come and she'd be forced to watch as her own quivering form retreated further into the alleyway instead of into Dixie's awaiting ambulance.

She watched as she dragged herself into the alleyway, trying to stay out of sight. Any second now she expected to hear Zoe's clopping as she hurried down the road to where this mystery woman was, but it didn't come. No one did.

If she could turn her neck more she would have looked around, but instead she was forced to watch as she curled into a ball and cried, whimpers echoing all around the alleyway. She stayed there like that for a few minutes before slowly crawling over to where her jacket and trousers were and hauling them over her legs and shoulders. She then watched in horror as her past self stumbled down the road, clutching at her injured shoulder, and out of site, turning onto a road which would take her about five minutes away from her house.

Now she could the clopping, but it wasn't quickening. Why would it? There was nothing left in the alleyway but a couple of ripped tops that could have been rags for all Zoe knew. Even in spite of this she did stop for a moment and look around, at one point looking Sam directly in the eyes for a few seconds. Sam felt her own heart rate quicken at this, but Zoe merely frowned and continued on her way down the road, completely unaware of the events that had happened here not minutes ago.

Sam was still staring at Zoe's retreating for but her mind was elsewhere. She felt a cold sensation settle on her gut. If Zoe hadn't found her she would have never told a soul, locking this particular event away in the back of her mind and never addressing it again. The brothers would have probably taken her clothes and cleaned the blood, erasing all evidence and then either left her alone or killed her.

It was a very hard truth to swallow, but it was true. Sam knew in her heart of hearts that no one would have ever found out about this if she hadn't been found and rescued from her own nightmares, this thing would have just haunted her for the rest of her life, a horror story with no end.

Her mind drifted briefly to DI Tyler, who she could now heart faintly calling her name. She would never have killed him; her career would be completely safe instead of a dark pit of uncertainty. The voice was getting louder and clearer, as though she was being pulled closer to it.

"Sam... Come on Sam, you have to wake up!"

Sam eyes shot open and she found herself squinting in the dim light at a range of instruments that looked like they belonged in some medieval doctor's office or in a horror movie. Or both.

Her eyes then came to settle on DI Tyler, who was tired to a metal chair. It took her a few seconds to realize she was also tied, but instead to a freezing cold metal table. The door to wherever they were swung open, and Sam came face to face with the man from her nightmare. He smiled at her recognition, not the kind of friendly smile you might have expected off of an old college mate, no, the kind of smile that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and alarm bells start ringing in your head.

The next four words that came out of his mouth scared Sam more than anything had in her entire life, because she didn't know what exactly was going to follow them.

"You're going to pay." He said with such calm that Sam knew there was no way out of whatever they were trapped in.

This was it.

…

_**Sorry I haven't updated in a while… I hope this makes up for it! **_

_**There aren't too many more chapters of Haunted to go now, it's been great to write a story with so many fans and I hope you'll read the new story I'm going to be posting in the next couple of weeks… which is also focussing on Sam. **_


	75. Chapter 75: Convergance

He had been circling her for the last five minutes; occasionally pausing to place a hand gently on the crown of her head or brush a lock of hair away form her eyes. His boots echoed around the small room, making Sam feel slightly claustrophobic. DI Tyler was desperately trying to break the bindings that held fast around her arms but with no success. Dylan, Zoe and PC Rowan were nowhere in sight.

"Your friends are safe. For now." He said suddenly, as if he was reading her thoughts. "You on the other hand don't have very long to live."

Sam probably would have been terrified by this comment if she hadn't already figured she was going to die at some point. A glance around the room at the medieval looking knives and saws hanging on the walls told her that. So instead she focused on the others. She may be about to die, but no one else had to.

"Where are they?" She managed to rasp through dry lips.

He stopped pacing. "Who? Your little band of friends? They're not here. Well… not in this room anyway."

Sam sighed and raised her head, trying to get a better look at him.

"I know you're going to kill me. You can at least tell me why." Sam said in an arrogant tone trying, and failing, to sound braver than she felt.

"The reason is still buried inside your head, _Dr _Nicholls."

"Stop talking in riddles and just tell me." Sam snapped as she struggled against the cold metal chains that kept her bound to the table.

"Oh no, not after all the pain you put that man through." He said an unreadable voice.

"Who?"

"Look if you would just let us go…" DI Tyler began.

"SHUT IT!" He roared before placing a length of tape over her mouth and walking behind Sam. "This is between me and her."

He finally stood sill, Sam could feel his eyes boring a hole into her skull.

"You really have no idea… do you?"

Sam stared at the ceiling for one long moment. The man in her dream, the man who had had his stomach blown out, could that be who he meant? But that would make him or his brother the man who bust into the tent…

"He had had his stomach blown out…" Sam said quietly.

"And you just stood flirting with your boy toy and watched him die!" He shouting before banging his fist on one of the many metal cabinets.

"I gave him pain relief! There was nothing more we could have-"

"You don't know what! You could have examined him!"

Sam struggled against her bindings again, trying to face the man behind her.

"I carried him with three others back from the building that had collapsed! His stomach had been blown wide open; I could see everything I needed to without so much as touching him! Several arteries were ripped out; his liver was useless and judging by his breathing one of his lungs had collapsed!"

"So you just stood there and let him die while your boy toy-"

"Listen to me! He was a dead man before we reached him, even if we were in the best hospital in the world its doubtful they'd be able to save someone who sustained those kinds of injuries! Re you hearing me? _He was going to die regardless of what I did!"_

Sam heard him grab something off of a table, sliding it into hands. Next thing she knew there was cold metal pressed up against her neck and his deranged features were staring back down at her. He hair was matted, there was sweat running down his face. His eyes were bloodshot and his breathing was fast and angry. This wasn't the same man she had seen months before in the hospital, skulking around with his brother, this was a man who would kill her and DI Tyler and think of nothing other then the unquenchable thirst for revenge burning in his eyes and his heart. He was mad.

"That... that man. No one ever found out who he was…" Sam wheezed through her constricted airway. "Who…was he?"

At that question his arm seemed to relax, and he moved the knife off of her before collapsing down into a chair nearby, as though gearing up to tell a story.

"He was… one of the best men we had. The best chance of getting our soldiers out of Iraq and Afghanistan." He said in a voice that was tinged with emotion. He seemed almost human again.

Almost. As Sam stared at him his head raised to match her stare, except this time the malignance had returned to his expression. He gave her a look of pure hatred.

"_You _are the reason we couldn't get out of that damn war faster, the reason my brother is dead. You caused all of this by not saving him." He hissed. "You deserve everything that's happened to you and a lot worse."

"Who was he?"

"A better person than you ever were." He said simply.

With that he stood and left the room, shutting the metal door behind him with a loud clang.

…

_**I'll update again soon... hopefully. **_


	76. Chapter 76: Questions

The van had come out of nowhere. One minute they were staring at Sam, who was muttering under her breath, the next they were being bundled into the back of the van by its armed driver. They all recognised him straight away; there was no one else it could have been.

Sam was passed out when he dragged her and DI Tyler from the van and through a broken fence, Zoe, Dylan and PC Rowan were forced to watch through a tiny gap in the van doors after he had slammed them shut.

Now they sat in total darkness, unsure of what to do next. Zoe was scrabbling around on the floor for something, anything, they could use to pry the doors open but all she was getting was a very dusty hand. Dylan was sitting crossed legged with his eyes closed, deep in thought, while PC Rowan was attempting to get a signal on her mobile, since her police radio was back in their car.

After ten long minutes, Zoe finally gave up searching and Dylan opened his eyes. PC Rowan sighed and put the phone between them, casting an eerie light over their faces.

"What do we do?" Zoe asked as calmly as she could muster.

"I don't know." PC Rowan replied.

There was a long pause. No one dared say what they were all thinking. Sam and DI Tyler were most likely being killed or about to be killed, and there was nothing they could do but sit in the darkness.

"There has to be something." Dylan said matter-of-factly.

"Like what Dylan? A secret door in the van?" Zoe snapped. "There's nothing!"

"Please! This isn't the time for fighting when our friends are in danger!" PC Rowan shouted.

The sound echoed around the cramped space and made both Zoe and Dylan cringe, but neither of them commented.

"Now." PC Rowan said calmly, as though she was in a meeting room going through a plan of action. "Go through the facts."

"The facts are we are trapped in a van while our friends are being killed!" Zoe said angrily.

"We don't know that's what he's planning for sure." Dylan said with a frown.

"He had a GUN Dylan! What other possible use could he have for it?"

"He had more than enough time to kill all of us on that street, and make an example of us, but he didn't. He chose to take us a few metres down the road, drag Sam and DI Tyler out of the van and to god knows where. He's after more than just revenge."

"Answers. He's after answers." PC Rowan said slowly.

"What kind of answers?" Zoe asked, her anger apparently forgotten.

Unfortunately no one had time to answer that, for the van doors had just been opened. He was standing there, gun in hand, and staring at them as though they were the scum of the earth.

"Move." He said in a deadly whisper that they all somehow heard.

"You don't need to do this!" Zoe said, raising her hand as a sign of peace.

"I said _move!" _ He snarled, indicating right with his gun.

One by one they stepped out and, with several jabs in the back they all clambered through the broken fence. They all gasped at the sight of the large black shed at the back of the overgrown garden, and without his command began heading towards it. When they reached the door he swiftly sidestepped and held door open, aiming the gun at them in turn as they stepped through.

The space was confined for one person, but with four it was almost unbearable even if you weren't claustrophobic. There were three old wooden chairs in a line, and one by one he ordered them to sit, fastening the chains that were scattered on the ground around them, before securing them with padlocks. When he was finished he stared at all of them in turn, first Dylan who stared meekly back, then Zoe who gave him a death stare and finally PC Rowan, who was avoiding his gaze entirely.

"_PC _Rowan… I see your plan to set me up has gone awry…"

PC Rowan did not reply, instead she merely snorted and looked up at the ceiling.

"And Zoe… It would appear that you have some answers for me."

"I have nothing to say to you." Zoe said flatly.

"Oh... but you do." He said in a voice which made the hairs on the back of everyone's necks stand on end. "I need to run a hypothetical by you."

"And what hypothetical would that be?"

Zoe was dimly aware of him speaking about someone's stomach being blown open in the middle of a battle zone, but her mind was focussed on something else. In the bottom of her creaky old chair their appeared to be something metal sticking out and jabbing her n the back. If it was what she thought it was, then the beginnings of a plan were starting to circulate around her mind…

…

_**Thanks once again for all the reviews and follows… you guys are great! :)**_

_**I've posted my new story, Explosions, ahead of time since I was eager to upload something new, but I'm still going to finish Haunted to those of you who asked so don't worry! **_


	77. Chapter 77: Mirror, Mirror

Sam felt as though she was dying. As soon as he had left the room he mind started to fog over and she found herself unable to breathe properly. The cold metal of the table felt like a thousand daggers at her back, and she could still feel where the blade had made contact with her skin.

She knew that DI Tyler saw something was wrong, but with her mouth taped over she was unable speak. Inside her head Sam moaned. She wanted desperately to hear the voice of someone who could help her, save her from this living nightmare. Never before had she wanted to rely on someone else to solve all the problems she was facing as much as she did now.

Something had to happen, something had to give, and she was afraid it was going to be her life. It was funny to think a couple of months ago she had submerged herself in freezing cold water, and 3 months before that she had felt like dying in that alleyway, but now she was clinging onto life with every fibre of her being.

Her emotions were shot to hell, one second she felt scared and alone, the next angry and defiant. DI Tyler looked about ready to give up the ghost, and Sam could see the black spots slowly destroying the edges of her vision. Soon she would fall unconscious and whether she would ever wake up again could be anyone's guess.

After a few more agonizing minutes the hour of reckoning began. He burst through the door like an angry bull and set about throwing anything he could get his hands on, most of it being the metal instruments hung on the walls from various brackets and racks. Sam swore that she was either going to pass out, suffer burst eardrums or go mad, maybe all three.

When he had finally calmed down enough he sat on the floor with his head in his hands, breathing heavily. It took him several minutes to get up, and in these minutes Sam's peripheral vision had disappeared to the point where she felt like she was looking down a long dark tunnel. When he finally spoke his voice was ragged, as though he had lost his mind along with half the equipment in the room which lay broken around him.

"Your friend. She told me that there was no way my friend would have lived."

Sam decided now wasn't the time to comment as she felt he hadn't finished speaking. That and the fact she was unsure of whether she could form proper words.

"He was a great man. Great man." He repeated with an edge to his voice. "He had the chance to save all our soldiers."

"You said that before." Sam rasped. "What do you mean?"

"He... he was working for a special division within the army, a branch that was kept secret from all those except the ones who were part of it. My brother and I were the ones organising the operations."

"What kind of operations?" Sam asked, but alarmingly it had only come out as a whisper.

"Intelligence gathering on a scale that the main divisions in the army couldn't handle. Most of the men were commanded were turncoats, men who had run away from the Taliban and had vital information from the inside. We were two weeks, _two weeks, _away from coming up with a strategy which we would hand over to our commanding officer that would be implemented and hopefully, after one final operation, shut down the Taliban in the areas the UK were working and get us all home out of there."

"But your building blew up." Sam finished quietly, remembering where she had pulled the man from.

"From the outside it looked like a clothing shop, but on the inside it was our hub of communications. We didn't have anything like a computer, so all our findings were on paper. It turned out that some of those turncoats were double agents and reported back all the information we found. We were bombed out the same day we found out."

"There was a fire fight that day…" Sam mumbled, shutting her eyes.

"The Taliban immediately started firing on the locals after they were done with the building. They couldn't risk them knowing any of the information that we had. Me and my brother had hidden and he stayed back to help anyone who was injured. I saw him dying and I saw you standing there…"

"Wait." Sam said feebly after swallowing. "You weren't wearing any…any uniform. That's... against regulation."

Sam heard him shift around until she assumed he stood up.

"I was discharged about three weeks before I implemented the scheme. So was my brother. We shot another soldier after we believed he was working for the Taliban." He said with a slight catch to his voice.

Suddenly an electric shock travelled through her system and Sam opened her eyes.

"You… do you have any idea how many people died because of your actions?" She said, her temper rising.

"52." He said with a regretful sound that Sam may have registered if she didn't feel anger bubbling up under every square inch of her skin.

"You said you were going to hand over what you knew to your commanding officer. What were you actually planning on doing with it?"

"We... I don't need to answer this!" He suddenly snapped.

"The fact is." He snarled. "_You _didn't save him. So every last bit of information we had died with him."

The burst of energy she felt was over as soon as it had come. Suddenly she felt weak once more and closed her eyes again.

"There was nothing I could have done." She said meekly.

"I told you more than enough to get me put away for life. I've told both of you." As he spoke Sam opener her eyes once more and would have started struggling if she could find the energy to move.

He had a knife and was advancing on her one more, but he never even got close.

Suddenly, and without warning, Zoe, PC Rowan and Dylan burst through the door and Zoe had the mirror the Sam had seen perched up again the wall in her hands... but not for very long.

She smahed it over the back of him and crashed it over the top of her head, unfortunately not knocking him out but it did ground him for a few seconds and give Zoe enough time to use the sharp metal object in her hand to unlock the several padlocks around the chains that held her.

Sam's head lolled to one side, causing Zoe to gently pat her cheek.

"Sam we have to get out of here. " Zoe said hurriedly as Dylan took his car keys out of his back pocket. "Sam get up and start running!"

Sam felt the soldier in her snap back into focus. She had been given an order, time to follow it.

…

_**There should only be 2-3 chapters left of this story now…**_

_**I think you're going to enjoy the end :)**_


	78. Chapter 78: End of a nightmare

Sam had really tried to follow the order Zoe gave her, but her body wasn't willing.

The world was a blur for the next few seconds, skirting around the edge of the broken mirror and diving out the front door of the shed. They stumbled and tripped on the overgrown plants and the large stones that hindered their progress, and to make matters worse Zoe called for everyone to move faster.

Moving faster was impossible for Sam, PC Rowan and DI Tyler, for Sam's arms were hung loosely around their shoulders as she fought to stay conscious. Zoe rushed over and helped them get her over the last few patches of overgrown brambles, all of them winced as their clothes and skin were snagged and scratched.

Sam used the last few ounces of her strength to raise her head and stare at Zoe, who was ordering PC Rowan and DI Tyler to put Sam in the passenger seat of _his _van. Once she was settled Zoe draped a fleece she found covering one of the seats over her and ordered the other three to climb into the back. Not wanting them to sit in the darkness, Zoe also opened the hatch that was behind them and three heads immediately popped up.

"He's coming!" Shouted Zoe.

Sam turned her head to see him stumbling out of the shed and running full pelt towards them. He would have made it if Zoe hadn't grabbed the ignition key Dylan was holding out to her and jammed her foot on the acceleration, sending the van screeching down the road. There were several sighs of relief.

"Right." Zoe said authoritatively. "We're going straight to the hospital."

She said this with a sideways glance at Sam, who appeared to be becoming more aware of her surroundings and was looking out of the window at one of the mirrors.

The drive went on in relative silence for a few minutes, everyone moaning as Zoe went too fast over a bump in the road. That was until PC Rowan remembered about…

"My car!" She exclaimed.

"That hardly matters now!" Zoe snapped impatiently as she beeped the horn at a car driver in front who was ignoring the green light.

"We'll get someone to recover it." DI Tyler said. "Does anyone have a phone I can use?"

There was a brief pause in which everyone searched their pockets, before all replying with a no.

"We'll be at the hospital in a few minutes." Zoe said, stating the obvious mostly as a way to calm herself.

"If someone steals my car…" PC Rowan mumbled, making everyone roll their eyes.

"That car isn't our priority. Sam is." Dylan stated matter-of-factly.

"Or maybe it is." Sam said, making them all stare at her.

Sam hadn't taken her eyes off of the mirror, and was staring at the exact car that had taken them all to Sandown road. There was only one person the driver could be, for he was driving like a madman, weaving in an out of cars in a desperate bid to catch up with his own van.

Zoe was the first to speak.

"We're fine. We're absolutely fine. 2 minutes until we reach the hospital." She said in a way that almost reassured everyone on board.

Almost.

"Zoe we can't stop! He's after Sam! If he gets to her he'll kill her and then move onto us for good measure!" Dylan snapped.

"So we'll leave Sam in the van and one of us will go out-"

"No Zoe! Dylan's right we have to keep driving, try and lose him somehow." DI Tyler said forcefully.

The hospital was barely a minute away now, and Zoe was still heading towards it. When it was in sight she began to slow and everyone began to shout.

"What are you doing?"

"You're going to get us all killed!"

"Zoe!"

"Listen to us!"

Zoe could no more listen to them than she could take move any inch of her body, forcing Sam to put her foot on the acceleration and veer the vehicle out of the carpark herself. She managed to shout help to Jeff and Dixie, who were staring at the van as though they had just gone mad, before Sam pulled the van back onto the main road.

Sam then quickly moved Zoe over into her seat, Zoe making no protest, and took over driving. Luckily for them_ he_ had stopped the police car in the hospital carpark, and had to wait a few moments for the barrage of cars suddenly going in and out to clear before he could leave the hospital once more, revving up the engine and tearing after them.

"Ok." Sam said as calmly as she could muster. "Where do we go?"

There was no reply.

"Guys come on!" Sam said forcefully. "Focus!"

"Er… head out of town into the countryside?" Suggested DI Tyler.

PC Rowan shook her head. "The only ting stopping him from catching this van is the cars in between us. This van is no way near as fast."

"So what do we do?"

"We stick to the man roads and follow wherever the main flow of cars are going until help arrives. Hopefully Jeff and Dixie have already called the police." PC Rowan said.

"That could take longer than we have." Sam said, checking the fuel gauge.

"..Ah." Pc rowan said.

There was nothing left to say. They barely had minutes. Even if help did arrive, with the speed they were travelling it would be too late. He could kill them all before so much as a police car got within seeing distance.

Suddenly DI Tyler yelped. "That's it!"

"What's it?" Sam and Dylan said simultaneously.

"Sam how confident a driver are you?"

"I'm not going to like this am I?"

DI Tyler told her. She didn't like it.

…

"Are you sure about this?" Said the now conscious Zoe.

"Got any other ideas? Because seriously ANY would be welcome." Sam replied as they hurtled down a side road.

They were looking for a bridge. A bridge that went over a ditch that required you to make a sharp turn to actually get on the bridge, or else you'd be getting up close and personal with the dead birds and old shopping trolleys down the bottom of the gulley. It shouldn't kill, but it would certainly destroy the car and maybe injure him.

Sam was nearing the road they needed to be on, and began to slow the car. They didn't slow to the point of stopping, far from it, but the 'chase' now resembled a leisurely wind around some very narrow side roads.

"Ok.." Sam said as he slowed up also.

For the last mile or so there had been no traffic since they had detoured off of the side roads, so he had been right behind them the whole time.

Sam checked the fuel gauge a few seconds before their tyres hit the desired road. With barely a minute's worth of fuel remaining Sam flawed it, sending the car hurtling towards the ditch at the other end.

They relying on the fact that the van was large and unusually wide, hopefully he wouldn't be able to see the oncoming ditch that lay beyond.

As predicted he sped up also, to the point where he was actually bumping the back of them.

_Of course, _Sam thought, _he probably knows how little fuel is left in this thing. _

At the very last second before the wheels would have begun to carry them down the ditch Sam made the car jack-knife. They were spun quickly, far more quickly than Sam had anticipated. As she struggle to stop them spinning again they heard a sickening crunch.

When their car did finally stop moving they stared over at the police car. PC Rowan let out a furious gasp and mouthed the words my car. Zoe, still clinging to her seat for dear life, just stared at the mess they had created in shock. DI Tyler and Dylan did not look to bothered, and were busy dusting themselves off.

Sam was sitting there with her hands still attached to the wheel. She was breathing heavily, wondering how exactly they had managed to pull it off. With a sigh she stared at the fuel gauge. Completely empty. If they needed a getaway now it would have to be on foot.

Sam was also the first to step out. Her senses were as sharp as ever and that momentary fainting spell she had had appeared to be over. She heard the sounds of Dylan, PC Rowan and DI Tyler clambering out also, but didn't look around. She was too intent on finding out what had happened to him.

When she got close enough to see she let out a low moan. He hadn't been wearing a seatbelt and had been flung from the driver's seat straight through the front window. Sam didn't even bother clambering down there and checking for a pulse, there was no point. The large open head wound was for one making her feel nauseous two was more than sufficient to kill a man.

Dylan, PC Rowan and DI Tyler joined her, staring at him for a few a few seconds until Zoe caught up. She was paler than usual and shaking like a leaf but looked otherwise alright.

They didn't even have time to speak to one and other, for it was at that point a barrage of ten or so police cars hurtled down the road and stopped a safe distance away, holding their batons and stun guns out cautiously.

Both PC Rowan and DI Tyler sighed and held up their badges.

"Relax, boys. We're with you." PC Rowan shouted to the three men who were aiming stun guns at her chest.

They all nodded and sighed with relief, placing their weapons in their holsters before walking over to allow them to explain the situation.

Sam made quite the protest at them insisting she got checked out, until Zoe ordered her to shut up. When she finally made it to the ED practically every member of staff was there, and gathered around her as they checked for any signs of injuries. Zoe was in the bed next to her receiving the same treatment and rolling her eyes.

"Look on the bright side." Charlie said to Sam as she laid there, protesting over their desire to keep her there overnight. "This is finally over once you get out of here."

At his words Sam smiled and fully meant it for the first time in nearly a year.

"Yeah.." she muttered, her smile fading slightly.

Sam knew in her head this wasn't really going to be over until she finally found closure.

"Charlie can you pass me my phone?"

…

_**I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written for Haunted.. :/**_

_**There is one more to go after this but it is going to be fairly short. **_

_**Thanks as always for reading and reviewing! **_


	79. Chapter 79: Final goodbye

_**2 months later…**_

"Go on holiday for a bit then see how you feel!" Zoe pleaded.

"Zoe please stop! This decision is hard enough without you trying to persuade me to go back on it!"

"If it's so hard then maybe that's a sign... maybe you shouldn't go after all!" Zoe suggested desperately.

"Zoe I need to get out of here. I can't keep looking over my shoulder in the ED for the next freak who's going to attack me. I need closure." Sam said flatly.

Zoe nodded, returning her attention fully back to driving down the motorway. They were heading to Portsmouth, so Sam could catch a ferry across to the Isle of Wight and get a couple of weeks holiday before taking up a new post in California.

Sam would have preferred to drive herself, but Zoe insisted on taking her for reasons that were only becoming clear now. Zoe had only pretended to support her move. She didn't want her to leave.

When Sam had approached her nearly two months ago for a reference after phoning an old army colleague in Callifornia she had initially been too shocked to speak, before handing Sam the most glittering reference she had ever received. Naturally, the hospital snapped her up and told her to work in Holby ED for a couple of months, take a holiday and then fly over. Sam had a feeling Zoe may have contacted and told them about everything that had happened, a claim which she vehemently denied.

When finally pulled up just outside where the Ferry was Sam felt her confusion rising. They were a good hour and a half early, sure, but she wanted to find a good place to sit with a nice view, not stare at the table and chairs dotted around for an hour. Well, that was the excuse she told herself anyway. In reality she just wanted a clean break form everything.

"Zoe why-"

Zoe told her to shush and took her hand, dragging her from the car and into a dingy looking restaurant. When Zoe opened the door Sam nearly had a heart attack.

"SURPRISE!"

Tom, Charlie, Dixie, Linda, DI Tyler and PC Rowan along with Dylan, who had taken his old job back at the ED, were all gathered around a table full of cakes and several bottles of wine. Above them was a banner that said "Happy Birthday"

"Its not my-"

"We know." Said Tom quickly. "But we couldn't find a banner that said happy holidays or goodbye so we had to settle for this or nothing at all."

"I think nothing at all would have been better." Sam smirked, walking over to them.

For the next hour everyone ate way to much cake and drank a little too much wine, but nonetheless were all in high spirits. Well, they were until it was time for Sam to leave.

She went round and hugged everyone one by one, Tess and Zoe practically crushing her and Dylan just about managing a polite shake of the hand. The last hug was form Tom, and though he wasn't holding her particular tight she sensed his indecision at letting her go.

"Tom.." She said gently, placing a hand on his chest and pushing back. "I really have to go."

"I know." He replied sadly as he reluctantly released her.

She gave them all a smile and a wave before heading to the door. But something made her stop.

"Wait." She said slowly, turning back around.

"What is it?" Zoe asked, unable to keep the hopefulness out of her voice.

"I wanted to say something before I left." She began, making sure she had all their attention before leaving. "I wanted to say thank you to each and every one of you. Thank you Dixie and Zoe for finding me and thank you Zoe for being there every day since. Thank you Tess for checking on me constantly, and though I hated it at the time I'm glad you did. Thank you PC Rowan and DI Tyler for making me feel able to press charges against those freaks. Thank you Linda for treating me like a human still after I told you what happened, thank you Tom for defending me when I was in a coma- yes I heard about that, and thank you Dylan for… being you I guess. Last of all thank you Charlie for being the best nurse I've ever worked with. I couldn't leave without telling every single one of you guys how much you meant to me… so.. Thanks for being in my life and I'm sad that time has come to an end."

There was a silence in which everyone, including Sam, just smiled.

"Sam… I'm not going to say I don't support you, because I do, but if you ever want to come back…" Zoe said sadly.

"..I'll know who to call." Finished Sam.

"Just don't go throttling any more Keith Parr's. Got it?" Zoe said in mock seriousness. "Or I'll fly out to California myself and personally throttle you."

"Got it." Sam said after a giggle.

She took one last look around at everyone before sighing, smiling and saying two last words.

"Goodbye, everyone."

With that she walked through the doors and didn't look back.

_END_

…

_**Wow… 9 months, 79 chapters, over 25,000 views and over 300 reviews. I never ever saw this getting so….big! **_

_**Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and following both me and Haunted. Seriously, you guys really are great!**_

_**Haunted was quite a difficult story to write and I can definitely see a change in my writing style over the last few months… thanks for grinning and baring with all the typos and grammar errors I must have made over all this time! **_

_**This story was supposed to be around eleven chapters long… hell I even have the plan I made for it somewhere on this PC still! I just kept on getting more and more ideas as I wrote and well…. It got a little bigger than I anticipated. **_

_P.s…._

_I'm planning a sequel. It won't be posted until after Explosions is done with. :)_


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